建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and clear. Start with a simple topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations, incorrect words, and grammar errors (e.g., "Does that horse" is wrong). Use linking words like "because" to show reason and keep sentences short (max 4–5).

示例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. I live in an apartment block in a densely built neighborhood, so most of the buildings around me are multi-storey towers. Because the area is urban, the skyline looks quite compact and modern.

建议: Good content and structure. Improve fluency and accuracy: remove filler words, correct verb forms, and use linking words smoothly (e.g., "However," "But if"). Add one specific example to make the answer more concrete. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Normally I don't take photos of buildings. However, if a building's design is stunning or unusual, I will take a picture to remember it; for example, last month I photographed a glass-fronted library because its shape was unique.

建议: Answer directly and use clear names or descriptions. Avoid long hesitations and incomplete sentences. If you cannot recall a name, explain briefly and give reasons why you want to visit (views, architecture, history). Use linking words such as "because" or "because of" to connect ideas.

示例: Yes. I would like to visit the Shanghai Tower because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world. I can't remember all the details, but I want to go up to its observation deck because the panoramic view of the city would be spectacular.

建议: Be concise and correct grammar. Begin with a clear statement of preference, then give a specific reason and a brief example. Avoid repetition and filler phrases. Use linking words such as "because" and quantify clearly (e.g., "fourth floor").

示例: I wouldn't want to live in a very tall building because I am slightly afraid of heights. I wouldn't mind living on a lower floor, such as the third or fourth floor, since that feels much safer to me.

× Does that horse around my neighborhood because I live in an apartment.

✓ Those houses are around my neighborhood because I live in an apartment.

Original sentence has multiple issues: wrong word 'horse' instead of 'houses' and incorrect sentence structure for the idea. It should be a plural noun 'houses' and a clear clause linking location and reason. Use 'Those houses are around my neighborhood because I live in an apartment' to convey meaning clearly.

× So basically, uh, all the building around us, a tall building.

✓ So basically, uh, all the buildings around us are tall buildings.

Original uses singular 'building' and lacks a verb. Correct requires plural 'buildings' and a verb 'are'. Also add 'tall buildings' to make it grammatical and match plurality.

× Yes, there are loads of buildings.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of buildings.

While 'loads of' is informal and not strictly ungrammatical, 'a lot of' is more appropriate in neutral responses. If keeping informal register, 'loads of buildings' is acceptable; to be safe, use 'a lot of'.

× Normally not, I don't take photo of buildings on my daily basis, but if the constructions look stunning or capture my interest, I wouldn't mind to take a photo to keep, umm, that as my memory.

✓ Normally not; I don't take photos of buildings on a daily basis, but if a construction looks stunning or captures my interest, I wouldn't mind taking a photo to keep it as a memory.

Multiple article and form problems: 'photo' should be plural 'photos' for general habit; 'on my daily basis' should be 'on a daily basis'; 'the constructions' is awkward—use 'a construction' or 'construction'; verb pattern after 'wouldn't mind' requires gerund 'taking' not 'to take'; 'that as my memory' should be 'it as a memory'.

× if the constructions look stunning or capture my interest, I wouldn't mind to take a photo to keep, umm, that as my memory.

✓ if a construction looks stunning or captures my interest, I wouldn't mind taking a photo to keep it as a memory.

After 'wouldn't mind' the verb must be in gerund (-ing) form: 'taking' rather than 'to take'. Also ensure subject-verb agreement: 'a construction looks' and 'captures'.

× Yes I do. I would like to visit a building UMM, located in Shanghai is considered one of the highest buildings in the world.

✓ Yes, I would. I would like to visit a building in Shanghai that is considered one of the tallest in the world.

Run-on and article issues: add comma after 'Yes'; 'a building UMM, located in Shanghai is...' is ungrammatical. Use a relative clause 'a building in Shanghai that is considered...' Also 'tallest' is the correct superlative form for height.

× I can't remember the names but uh, the UMM instruction is quite well known and the view up there would be.

✓ I can't remember the name, but the construction is quite well known and the view up there would be amazing.

'Names' should be 'name' if referring to one building; 'UMM instruction' is incorrect—probably 'the construction' or 'the building'; sentence ends incomplete—add an adjective like 'amazing' to finish. Use consistent vocabulary.

× To be honest, a little bit scared of a height of the height.

✓ To be honest, I'm a little bit scared of heights.

Original lacks subject and has redundant phrasing 'of a height of the height'. Use contraction 'I'm' and the plural noun 'heights' which is the normal expression.

× So I would say I don't want to live in a very tall building, but I don't mind if it's like you know those first 4th floor, you know, if if it's not too high, like you know, it's 50 height.

✓ So I would say I don't want to live in a very tall building, but I don't mind if it's on the first to fourth floors; if it's not too high, like around 5 or 10 stories.

Original is repetitive and unclear. 'those first 4th floor' is incorrect; use 'first to fourth floors' or 'first through fourth floors'. 'It's 50 height' is ungrammatical—use 'around 5 or 10 stories' or a specific number with 'meters' if intended. Remove filler phrases and duplicate words.