建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 文法を正確にし、表現をより自然にまとめましょう。たとえば「the tallest 1 is a 10th floor apartment」は不自然なので「the tallest is a ten-storey apartment」のように言い換え、接続詞の使い方を簡潔にして一貫性を持たせるとよいです。また、「near my office, which is close to Tokyo station」などの挿入句は短くし、情報の優先順位を意識して話すと流暢に聞こえます。

示例: No, there aren't any tall buildings near my home. The tallest building nearby is a ten-storey apartment. Near my office by Tokyo Station, however, there are many skyscrapers, and some exceed 100 metres.

建议: 語彙の重複を避け、理由や具体例を一つ加えると良いです。たとえば「not special」「unique character」「very traditional old buildings」は類似表現が混在しているため整理しましょう。リンク語（for example, because）を使って説明を明瞭にします。

示例: It depends. I usually don't photograph ordinary modern buildings because they look similar. However, I sometimes take photos of buildings with unique façades or historic temples, for example when a wooden temple has intricate carvings.

建议: 文の構造を整理して、冗長な接続詞を減らしましょう。例えば「although ... but」は二重接続なのでどちらか一つにします。場所の表現も自然に整え、なぜ『gap』を楽しみたいのか具体的な感情や理由を付け加えると説得力が増します。

示例: Yes. I would like to visit a temple in central Kyoto that is about 400 years old. Although the temple is ancient, it is now surrounded by tall modern buildings, and I want to see the striking contrast between old and new.

建议: カジュアルな口語表現（wanna）を避け、理由を簡潔に順序立てて述べましょう。また「if the electricity gets down」は不自然なので「if the power goes out」に直すとよいです。Supporting detailsを整理して、最大5文以内に収めてください。

示例: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building. Firstly, I'm afraid of heights, and secondly, using stairs every day would be inconvenient. For instance, if the power goes out and the lifts stop working, climbing many flights would be very tiring.

× Actually, the tallest 1 is a 10th floor apartment.

✓ Actually, the tallest one is a 10th-floor apartment.

The sentence omits the article 'one' after 'tallest' and needs hyphenation for the compound adjective '10th-floor'. Use 'one' to refer back to a noun and hyphenate number+floor when used as an adjective. Suggestion: Say 'the tallest one' and hyphenate '10th-floor'.

× Some of them are more than 100 meters tall.

✓ Some of them are more than 100 meters tall.

This sentence is correct in present tense describing a general fact. No change is needed.

× It depends.

✓ It depends.

This present tense response is appropriate and correct. No change required.

× If the buildings are really ordinary ones, I don't take photos of them because they're not special.

✓ If the buildings are really ordinary, I don't take photos of them because they're not special.

The word 'ones' is unnecessary after 'ordinary'. Removing it makes the sentence more natural. Suggestion: Use 'ordinary' as an adjective modifying 'buildings' directly.

× However, if the buildings have some unique character or very traditional old buildings, I sometimes take photos of them.

✓ However, if the buildings have some unique character or are very traditional and old, I sometimes take photos of them.

The original mixes noun phrase 'very traditional old buildings' without proper structure. Use 'are' to link the subject with the adjective phrase and combine adjectives with 'and'. Suggestion: 'have some unique character or are very traditional and old'.

× Yes, there's a temple that I want to visit in Kyoto.

✓ Yes, there's a temple that I want to visit in Kyoto.

This sentence is grammatically correct with article usage. No change needed.

× It's in the center part in of Kyoto city, and although the temple itself is very old, like 400 years old, but it's surrounded by really tall buildings.

✓ It's in the central part of Kyoto city, and although the temple itself is very old, about 400 years old, it's surrounded by really tall buildings.

Use 'central' instead of 'center part' and correct preposition order to 'part of'. Remove the redundant conjunction 'but' when 'although' is used; use 'about' for approximate age instead of 'like'. Suggestion: 'in the central part of Kyoto city' and 'about 400 years old'.

× I want to enjoy the gap between them.

✓ I want to enjoy the contrast between them.

'Gap between them' is understandable but 'contrast between them' is more natural when referring to the difference between old temple and tall buildings. Suggestion: Use 'contrast' to express the idea clearly.

× No, I don't wanna live in a tall building because first of all, I'm scared of heights and secondly, moving up and down every day is troublesome for me, especially if the electricity gets down.

✓ No, I don't want to live in a tall building because, first of all, I'm scared of heights, and secondly, moving up and down every day would be troublesome for me, especially if the electricity goes out.

Avoid informal 'wanna' in formal speech. Use conditional 'would be troublesome' to express potential inconvenience. 'Electricity gets down' is incorrect; use 'goes out'. Add commas for clarity. Suggestion: 'I don't want', 'would be troublesome', 'electricity goes out'.

× And if I can't use an elevator, it'll be very tough to go upstairs on foot.

✓ And if I can't use an elevator, it'll be very tough to go upstairs on foot.

Sentence is correct: 'go upstairs on foot' correctly uses base verb after 'to'. No change required.