建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct, clear and grammatically correct. Start with a concise topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one or two specific details. Avoid filler phrases like “you know” and incorrect word forms (e.g. ‘absolute’ → ‘absolutely’ not needed). Use linking words (for example, “because” or “also”) to make the answer coherent.

示例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a high-rise residential complex. For example, my apartment is in a 20-storey tower and there are several neighboring skyscrapers with offices and shops nearby.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and then two specific reasons. Reduce repetition of fillers and choose precise vocabulary (e.g. ‘capture’, ‘photograph’, ‘memories’, ‘share on social media’). Use a linking phrase such as “because” or “mainly because”.

示例: Yes, I sometimes photograph buildings because I like to capture interesting architecture and preserve memories. Also, I often share these photos on social media to show friends the cultural sites I visit.

建议: Answer directly and give specific reasons and a concise explanation. Correct grammar (e.g. ‘once in my life’), avoid redundancy and use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘as’. Add a brief detail about what you want to see or learn there.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the pyramids because they are mysterious and historically important. I especially want to explore the burial chambers and learn more about how they were built.

建议: State your preference clearly, then give one or two specific reasons. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. ‘located on the 20th floor’, ‘I would prefer a higher floor because I feel safer’). Avoid unclear expressions like ‘amorphous pet’—replace with precise feelings or benefits (e.g. ‘more privacy’, ‘better view’).

示例: Yes, I currently live on the 20th floor and I would prefer an even higher floor because it offers a better view and more privacy. For instance, living higher reduces street noise and feels more peaceful.

× Well, absolute yes, cause of whereas I'm living it is a complex of you know, skyscraper and you know, most of us skyscraper buildings is include in near my hometown, near my home actually is on a apartment and more.

✓ Well, absolutely yes. Where I live, there is a complex of skyscrapers near my hometown. I actually live in an apartment.

This sentence has multiple issues: incorrect word choice ('absolute' -> 'absolutely'), incorrect conjunctions ('cause of whereas' is redundant and incorrect), verb and structure problems ('I'm living it is' and 'skyscraper buildings is include in near' are ungrammatical), and article use ('on a apartment' should be 'in an apartment'). The correction simplifies and restructures the sentences to use correct adverb form, a clear relative clause 'Where I live', correct 'there is' construction for existence, plural noun 'skyscrapers', and proper preposition 'in' with the article 'an'. Suggestion: keep sentences short, use standard connectors (where, because) and check subject-verb agreement and prepositions.

× Well, sometimes, you know, some, you know, especially and you know, it's like a culture of the country. And so I need to take them to, you know, save from my memory and also a lot to my social media, share with my friends and show off.

✓ Well, sometimes, especially, I take photos because it is part of the country's culture. I take them to save the memories and to share on my social media with friends and to show off.

Problems include redundant filler phrases ('you know' repeated), incorrect connector and word order ('it's like a culture of the country' -> 'it is part of the country's culture'), and incorrect infinitive/verb usage ('take them to save from my memory' -> 'to save the memories'; 'a lot to my social media' -> 'share on my social media'). The correction removes fillers, places adverbs correctly, uses 'because' for reason, corrects noun phrase 'the country's culture', and uses appropriate verbs and prepositions ('share on'). Suggestion: avoid fillers, use clear cause-and-effect phrases and correct prepositions for actions.

× Well, if I would say that was a pyramid, yeah, I want I really want to visit once life cause it to, you know, mysterious and even now what days people actually didn't don't get, you know, all the information of this. So I really want to explore this.

✓ Well, I would say the pyramids. I really want to visit them once in my life because they are mysterious and even today people do not know all the information about them. So I really want to explore them.

Errors: misuse of conditional/modal phrasing ('if I would say that was a pyramid' is awkward), incorrect singular/plural ('a pyramid' then 'this'), incorrect adverbial phrase ('once life' -> 'once in my life'), wrong tense and negation ('didn't don't' -> 'do not'), and pronoun reference ('this' should be 'them'). The correction uses a natural conditional 'I would say', correct plural 'pyramids' (or 'the pyramids'), correct time expression 'once in my life', present tense 'do not' for general truth, and consistent plural pronouns. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, use standard time expressions, and match singular/plural references.

× Well, right now I'm, uh, living in an apartment, uh, you know, locate in a floor 20. And it was actually, you know, huge, uh, but if I want have the choice, uh, I really want to get into, you know, a higher level cause I feel a lot of amorphous pet.

✓ Well, right now I'm living in an apartment located on the 20th floor. It is actually quite large, but if I had the choice, I would like to live on a higher floor because I feel more comfortable there.

Issues: awkward phrase 'locate in a floor 20' should be 'located on the 20th floor' (preposition and ordinal number), tense inconsistency ('it was actually' -> present 'it is actually'), incorrect conditional/modal ('if I want have the choice' -> 'if I had the choice, I would'), and unclear phrase 'amorphous pet' which seems incorrect word choice; replaced with 'comfortable'. The correction fixes prepositions, articles, ordinal form, consistent present tense for current living, and correct second conditional form for hypothetical desire. Suggestion: use correct prepositions for floors ('on the 20th floor'), use ordinals, and apply proper conditional structures ('if I had..., I would...').