建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct some grammatical mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 sentences.

示例: No, my hometown had no tall buildings because I grew up on a small island. However, I now live in Brisbane, which has many high-rise office and residential towers. Because it is a major city, there are also large institutions and modern amenities nearby.

建议: Clarify the meaning and correct vocabulary mistakes (e.g., 'cuisines', 'cost of use', 'act takers'). Give a direct topic sentence: whether you take photos of buildings, then explain preferences with examples. Use linking words like 'but' and 'when'.

示例: Not usually. I prefer taking photos of natural landscapes rather than buildings. However, when I travel, I sometimes photograph city layouts and notable buildings to remember the trip, especially interesting facades or skylines.

建议: Be specific and correct names and tenses. Start with the building name and why you want to visit it, using clear reasons and one example. Avoid contradictory or unclear phrases (e.g., 'get dizzy and great pace').

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the SkyTower in Auckland (New Zealand) and go to its observation deck. Although I felt dizzy when I visited tall towers as a child, I think I would now enjoy the panoramic views of the city and harbour because they offer great photo opportunities.

建议: Give a clear opinion first (yes or no) and then two concise reasons. Correct vocabulary and avoid filler words. Use linking words ('because', 'however') and specific details about concerns.

示例: I might live in a tall building for a short time for the experience, but I would not do so permanently. I often feel dizzy at high heights and I worry about safety and maintenance in very tall residential towers.

× In my hometown there are no tall buildings because I used to live on a small island, but where I live now in Brisbane there are lot of high rise buildings and large institutions since it's a major city with offices and ready residential towers.

✓ In my hometown there are no tall buildings because I used to live on a small island, but where I live now in Brisbane there are a lot of high-rise buildings and large institutions since it's a major city with offices and ready residential towers.

The phrase 'there are lot of' is missing the article 'a' and 'high rise' should be hyphenated as 'high-rise' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Use 'a lot of' for plurals. Suggestion: insert 'a' and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× Usually I don't take often photos of cuisines.

✓ Usually I don't often take photos of cuisine.

The adverb placement is awkward and 'cuisines' is an uncountable/general noun here; 'take often photos' is incorrect order. Move 'often' before the verb 'take' and use 'cuisine' (or 'food') as uncountable or 'cuisines' only when referring to multiple types: 'photos of cuisine' or better 'photos of food'.

× I prefer capturing natural scenario landscapes and cost of use.

✓ I prefer capturing natural landscapes and scenery.

'Natural scenario landscapes' and 'cost of use' are incorrect collocations. Use 'natural landscapes and scenery' to express the intended meaning. Remove 'cost of use' which is unclear; if you meant 'coast' say 'coastline' or 'seascapes'.

× However, when I'm traveling as a tourist, I would love to photographing act takers and the city's layout to remember the trip.

✓ However, when I'm traveling as a tourist, I would love to photograph people and the city's layout to remember the trip.

After 'would love to' the base verb form should follow, not the -ing form. 'Act takers' is unclear; replace with 'people' (or 'actors' if intended) and use base verb 'photograph'.

× Of course, I would like to go on the top of the Skype point at Oakland.

✓ Of course, I would like to go to the top of the Sky Point in Oakland.

'Go on the top of' is incorrect preposition use; use 'go to the top of'. 'Skype point' is likely a wrong proper noun; assume 'Sky Point'. Also use 'in' for location within a city. This fixes preposition and noun choice.

× I went to New Zealand when I was younger and I get dizzy and great pace, but however, I think I could appreciate their experience of having a panorama, panoramic view from observer.

✓ I went to New Zealand when I was younger and I got dizzy and felt out of breath, but I think I could appreciate the experience of having a panoramic view from up there.

Mixing tenses: 'went' is past, so 'get' should be 'got'. Phrases 'great pace' and 'from observer' are incorrect collocations; replace with 'felt out of breath' and 'from up there' or 'as an observer'. 'Panorama, panoramic view' is redundant; use 'panoramic view'.

× Oh why not for the experience just but maybe a little amount of time.

✓ Oh why not, for the experience, but maybe only for a short time.

'A little amount of time' is unnatural; use 'for a short time' or 'only for a little while'. Rearrange commas for clarity. This corrects word choice and sentence flow.

× Like uh, I get dizzy at great hates and I think on a daily basis I will be scared about umm the cold buildings and high rise power.

✓ Like, I get dizzy at great heights and I think on a daily basis I would be scared of the cold buildings and high-rise towers.

'Great hates' is a spelling error: should be 'great heights'. Use 'scared of' not 'scared about'. 'High rise power' is incorrect; likely meant 'high-rise towers' or 'high-rise buildings'. Also change 'I will' to 'I would' to match hypothetical tone. Hyphenate 'high-rise'.