食物— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence naming your favourites, then give one specific reason and one brief example. Avoid repetition (e.g., “I love” multiple times) and awkward phrases like “real food day.” Aim for 2–4 sentences and use a linking word to connect reason and example.

示例: My favourite foods are pizza and noodles. I enjoy them because they’re comforting and quick to prepare, so I often have noodles for lunch when I’m busy, and pizza is my treat on weekends.

建议: Use past tense clearly and avoid filler words. Give a specific memory or situation to support your answer and link past to present if relevant. Keep it within 2–4 sentences and replace vague phrases like “memory” with concrete detail.

示例: When I was young I loved potato chips. I remember sharing them with my friends at the park after school, which made them feel special, and I still like them for that reason.

建议: Good structure and relevant detail. Improve coherence by using linking phrases and more precise examples for each season. Avoid capitalising unnecessary words and keep sentences natural. Provide one or two concrete seasonal foods with brief reasons why you choose them.

示例: Yes, I do. Because I live in northern Vietnam we have four seasons, so I prefer seasonal dishes. For example, in spring I eat fresh spring rolls for their light flavours, and in winter I enjoy hot soups to keep warm.

建议: Clarify and correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., ‘has changed’ not ‘has Strange’). Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether it changed, then give two brief reasons and one clear example comparing past and present. Avoid sentence fragments and fillers.

示例: Yes, my tastes have changed. As a child I loved fast food, soft drinks and sweets, but now I prefer healthier options like salads and grilled fish because I care more about my health.

× Potato chip is my favorite food, uh, back then.

✓ Potato chips were my favorite food back then.

Use plural 'potato chips' for a general category and past tense 'were' to match 'back then'. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× They remind me of memory with my friends and my family, and they give me the sense of comfortable and relaxed, uh, until now.

✓ They remind me of memories with my friends and my family, and they make me feel comfortable and relaxed even now.

Use plural 'memories' not 'memory' when referring to multiple recollections. 'Remind me of memories' is better than 'remind me of memory'. Use 'make me feel' instead of 'give me the sense of' for natural phrasing. 'Comfortable' is an adjective that pairs with 'feel', and 'even now' is a clearer time expression than 'until now'. Remove filler 'uh'.

× I eat them every day, they make me feel relaxed and excited for the rest of the day and I really love them.

✓ I eat them every day; they make me feel relaxed and excited for the rest of the day, and I really love them.

This sentence is a run-on; use a semicolon or split into two sentences to correctly link two independent clauses. Subject-verb agreement is fine, but punctuation needed to avoid comma splice.

× I live in the north of Vietnam, so we have Four Seasons.

✓ I live in the north of Vietnam, so we have four seasons.

Do not capitalize 'Four Seasons' unless it's a proper noun; use lowercase for seasons. No article change needed, but capitalization corrected.

× I really love fresh and seasonal foods, so I eat many different foods at different times of the year.

✓ I really love fresh, seasonal foods, so I eat many different dishes at different times of the year.

This is largely correct; suggestion improves word choice: 'dishes' sounds more natural than repeating 'foods'. Comma between adjectives 'fresh, seasonal' is recommended.

× For example, in springs I will have spring rolls and chocolate.

✓ For example, in spring I have spring rolls and chocolate.

Use singular 'spring' for the season. Use present simple 'I have' for habitual actions rather than 'I will have'.

× Well, my favorite food has Strange, when I was a child, I used to love fast foods and soft drinks.

✓ Well, my favorite food changed. When I was a child, I used to love fast food and soft drinks.

Original sentence has wrong word 'has Strange' and awkward structure. Use 'changed' to express that preference altered. Use 'fast food' (uncountable) rather than 'fast foods'. Split into two clear sentences.

× Uh, back then.

✓ (omit)

This fragment 'Uh, back then.' is a filler and sentence fragment without a verb. Remove it or integrate into the previous sentence for clarity.

× For example, when I was small, I always wanted candies and sweet foods and grilled chicken, but now I'd like to salad and.

✓ For example, when I was small, I always wanted candy, sweets, and grilled chicken, but now I prefer salad and healthier foods.

Use 'candy' or 'candies' consistently; 'candy' or 'sweets' is more natural. 'I'd like to salad' is ungrammatical; use 'I prefer salad' or 'I'd like salad'. Complete the second item: 'healthier foods' clarifies contrast. Maintain past tense 'was' for childhood and present preference 'prefer'.