食物— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and hesitations, and provide specific examples with brief reasons. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and use linking words for coherence.

示例: I like spicy Asian food because it feels refreshing and exciting. For example, I enjoy Chinese spicy ramen such as tantanmen, which has a rich chili-and-sesame broth. I also like Thai dishes like tom yum, because their sour-and-spicy flavors wake up my senses.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, remove repetitions and unclear phrases, and give one or two specific examples. Use linking words to contrast past and present tastes.

示例: When I was young I preferred Western foods such as pasta and hamburgers. In contrast, traditional Japanese dishes like miso soup and sashimi seemed too subtle and mature for my tastes at the time.

建议: Good structure and specific example. Improve by tightening language, using correct names and adding a linking word to explain why these foods are eaten at that time.

示例: Yes, I eat different foods depending on the season and festivals. For example, during the New Year holiday I eat osechi and mochi with my family because these traditional foods symbolize good fortune and are part of the celebration.

建议: Give a clear contrast between past and present tastes, avoid fillers and repetitions, and provide specific examples and a brief reason for the change.

示例: Yes, my tastes have changed. As a child I loved high-calorie Western dishes such as pasta and hamburgers, but now I prefer lighter, healthier Asian foods like grilled fish and vegetable-based soups because I care more about my health.

× My favorite food is spicy Asian food because I am so I feel so relaxed and fresh by eating them like being sweaty for example.

✓ My favorite food is spicy Asian food because I feel relaxed and refreshed when I eat it, even if I get sweaty, for example.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and has unnecessary repetition. 'Spicy Asian food' is singular/uncountable, so use 'it' not 'them'. Remove the redundant 'I am so I feel so' and use 'refreshed' (adjective) instead of 'fresh'. Also reorder clauses for clarity: 'when I eat it' and add 'even if I get sweaty' to preserve meaning.

× Like I really like obsessed.

✓ I am really obsessed with it.

The phrase 'like I really like obsessed' is ungrammatical. 'Obsessed' is an adjective that requires a preposition and subject: 'I am obsessed with ...'. Use 'really' to modify 'obsessed' and add the object 'it' or the specific food.

× I like Chinese dishes like spicy ramen called cantamen maratan and also Thailand food like uh.

✓ I like Chinese dishes, such as a spicy ramen called tantanmen maratan, and also Thai food.

'Thailand food' is incorrect; use the adjective 'Thai'. Also clarify the ramen name and use 'such as' or commas for examples. Maintain consistent noun forms and remove filler 'uh'.

× When I was a kid I preferred western dishes like pasta and hamburger at a time everyday food.

✓ When I was a kid, I preferred Western dishes like pasta and hamburgers as everyday food.

Add a comma after the introductory clause. 'Western' should be capitalized. 'Hamburger' as a general food should be plural: 'hamburgers'. Replace 'at a time' with 'as' to express habit.

× Everyday Japanese food like miso soup and sashimi felt too grown up for me so I dislike them.

✓ Everyday Japanese foods like miso soup and sashimi felt too grown-up for me, so I disliked them.

'Everyday' as an adjective is fine, but 'Japanese food' referring to multiple items is clearer as 'Japanese foods'. 'Grown-up' is hyphenated when used as an adjective. Tense consistency: describing past preferences use past tense 'disliked' rather than present 'dislike'. Add a comma before 'so'.

× I felt I felt I the small smell and taste was.

✓ I felt the smell and taste were too subtle for me.

The original is fragmented and repetitive. Use a clear subject and verb: 'the smell and taste were too subtle for me'. Use plural verb 'were' to agree with compound subject 'smell and taste'. 'Subtle' conveys 'small' smell/taste more naturally.

× Yes, I would have a different food depending on the season and the annual event.

✓ Yes, I eat different foods depending on the season and on annual events.

'Would have a different food' is awkward; use 'eat different foods'. 'Annual event' plural 'events' fits better. Use 'depending on' and pluralize 'foods' for general habits.

× For example, at the New Year's Eve and new during the New Year's holiday, I have a lot of Japanese traditional food called Osei chi and mochi, which is a rice cake with my family.

✓ For example, on New Year's Eve and during the New Year's holiday, I eat a lot of traditional Japanese foods called osechi and mochi, which is a rice cake, with my family.

Use 'on New Year's Eve' not 'at'. Remove duplicated 'new'. 'Traditional Japanese foods' is clearer; 'osechi' is one word and plural, and 'mochi' is usually singular mass noun but context 'which is a rice cake' is fine. Place 'with my family' at the end. Use 'eat' for habitual actions.

× Yes, it's definitely changed.

✓ Yes, it has definitely changed.

When referring to change from childhood to now, present perfect 'has changed' is more appropriate than contraction 'it's changed' which could be ambiguous ('it is changed' incorrect). Use 'has' to show change over time.

× When I was a kid, I preferred H high calorie and heavy uh, western dishes like pasta and meat, uh, uh, meat pasta and hamburger.

✓ When I was a kid, I preferred high-calorie, heavy Western dishes like pasta with meat and hamburgers.

Remove filler 'uh' and correct 'H high' to 'high-calorie'. Hyphenate 'high-calorie'. Capitalize 'Western'. Use plural 'hamburgers' and clarify 'pasta with meat' rather than repetition. Ensure past tense 'preferred' remains.

× But as I get older, I came to like uh, healthy and a light Asian food like uh W uh, like uh.

✓ But as I got older, I came to like healthy, lighter Asian foods.

Maintain past-time reference: 'as I got older' and 'came to like' both past. Use comparative 'lighter' rather than 'a light'. Plural 'foods' fits general preference. Remove fillers 'uh' and extraneous letters.