走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce hesitation words (e.g., "umm"), correct verb forms, and make the response more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. For example, correct "prefer use" to "prefer to use" and "It is almost 50 minutes a day" to a clearer time phrase.

示例: No, I don't walk a lot; I usually prefer to use my private car. However, I do walk about 50 minutes each day to and from the subway station, and since I started going to the gym my stamina has improved.

建议: Remove filler sounds ("uh") and combine sentences for fluency. Use linking words like "often" and "for example" to make the answer coherent. Give one specific memory or detail to enrich the response.

示例: Yes, I often went out as a child because I preferred being active. For example, my friends and I would usually walk to the nearby park where we talked about school and played games together.

建议: Good content and reasons; improve cohesion by varying linking words and avoiding repetition of "also." Make points more concise and add a brief example to support each reason.

示例: People walk in parks mainly to escape the hectic pace of city life and relax. In addition, parks offer fresh air and green space for activities, so someone might go there to read on a bench or to do light exercise like jogging.

建议: Correct place-name inconsistency and grammar ("developed by the government," "30 minutes away"). Avoid repetition and be precise. Start with a topic sentence, then add two specific supporting details with linking words like "because" or "for example."

示例: If I had the chance, I would walk along Bashkangelo, a well-known government-developed walking route. It is about a 30-minute drive from my house and has many tall trees, plus a few snack stalls where I could stop for refreshments.

建议: Avoid starting with conjunctions like "And." Fix grammar and redundancy ("walking famous route," "30 minutes far away"). Be concise and coherent: give one clear time reference and two specific details. Use correct articles and prepositions.

示例: Recently I went to Washka Angela, a popular walking route about 30 minutes from my house. It was developed by the government and is surrounded by trees, with several food stalls where you can buy snacks while you walk.

× To be honest, no, I prefer use my private car.

✓ To be honest, no, I prefer to use my private car.

Preference + verb requires the infinitive with to (prefer to do something) or the gerund (prefer doing). Missing 'to' makes the verb form incorrect. Suggestion: use 'prefer to use' or 'prefer using' depending on style.

× Umm but every day I walk from home to subway station and back.

✓ Umm, but every day I walk from home to the subway station and back.

The phrase needs the definite article 'the' before 'subway station' because a specific station near the speaker is implied. Also add a comma after 'Umm' for natural speech pause. This is an article/preposition usage tied to present habitual action.

× It is almost 50 minutes a day and before I start going to the gym I couldn't even walk for 5 minutes.

✓ It is almost 50 minutes a day, and before I started going to the gym I couldn't even walk for 5 minutes.

When referring to a past situation ('before I started going to the gym'), the verb should be in the past tense ('started') to agree with 'couldn't'. Maintain consistent past reference.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

The phrase 'have a walk' is less natural; 'go for a walk' is the common collocation. The question uses past simple auxiliary 'Did', so 'go' is correct; only the prepositional collocation needed correction.

× I preferred going out rather than staying at home.

✓ I preferred going out rather than staying at home.

This sentence is already correct. Preference is expressed with gerunds in parallel structure. No change needed.

× And most of the time my friends and I, uh, would walk to the nearby parks.

✓ Most of the time my friends and I would walk to the nearby park.

Beginning a sentence with 'And' is informal; remove it for clarity. 'Nearby parks' suggests multiple parks but context implies a single nearby park, so use singular 'park' or keep 'parks' if plural intended. Also remove filler 'uh' in written form.

× And while walking, uh, we talked about our daily lives and we spent time together.

✓ While walking we talked about our daily lives and spent time together.

Remove leading 'And' and filler 'uh' for clarity. Past tense 'talked' and 'spent' are correct and consistent. Keep verbs parallel without repeated 'we'.

× I think people want to walk to the parks because they want to escape from the hectic pace of their lives.

✓ I think people want to walk in the park because they want to escape the hectic pace of their lives.

Use 'walk in the park' or 'walk in parks' depending on general statement. For general reasons, 'the hectic pace of life' is more natural than 'their lives' but both work. Also 'escape from' can be shortened to 'escape'.

× Also they want to breathe fresh air in a lush green area and also they can have some time to themselves to read books or do exercise.

✓ They also want to breathe fresh air in a lush, green area, and have some time to themselves to read books or exercise.

Use commas in 'lush, green' for coordinate adjectives. Avoid repeating 'also'; place 'they also' at start. 'Do exercise' is better as 'exercise'. Remove redundant 'they' before 'have' for conciseness.

× If I had a chance, I would like to walk in Bashkangelo.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to walk in Bashkangalo.

Use 'the chance' for a specific hypothetical opportunity. Correct the place name spelling to match later mentions ('Bashkangalo'). Ensure consistency of proper nouns.

× Actually Bashkangalo is a famous walking route and it is developed by government.

✓ Actually, Bashkangalo is a famous walking route and it was developed by the government.

Add a comma after 'Actually'. Use past passive 'was developed' because development happened in the past. Include the definite article 'the' before 'government'.

× It is 30 minutes far away from our house and there are numerous tall and green trees there.

✓ It is 30 minutes away from our house, and there are numerous tall, green trees there.

Use '30 minutes away' rather than '30 minutes far away'. Use a comma for coordinate adjectives 'tall, green' and add comma before conjunction for readability.

× Also, there are some stalls to buy snacks.

✓ Also, there are some stalls where you can buy snacks.

Clarify purpose: 'stalls to buy snacks' is awkward; use 'stalls where you can buy snacks' to indicate function.

× And lately I went to Washka Angela which is a walking famous route and it is 30 minutes far away from our house.

✓ Lately, I went to Washka Angela, which is a famous walking route and is 30 minutes away from our house.

Place 'famous' before 'walking route' for correct adjective order. Use commas for nonrestrictive clause. Use '30 minutes away' not '30 minutes far away'.

× It was developed by government and and now there are many food stalls where you can buy snacks and it is surrounded by trees and to walk.

✓ It was developed by the government, and now there are many food stalls where you can buy snacks; it is surrounded by trees and good for walking.

Include 'the' before 'government'. Remove duplicate 'and'. Replace awkward 'and to walk' with 'good for walking' or 'popular for walks'. Use a semicolon or separate sentences to improve clarity.