走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct basic grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition ("work" vs "walk"), and use linking words to add supporting details. Also correct verb forms and word choice (e.g., "maintain my health" not "maintain my healthy"). Aim for 2–4 well-formed sentences.

示例: Yes, I walk regularly to maintain my health. In the evenings, I often walk while listening to music because it helps me relax and reflect on my plans and things I’ve learned recently.

建议: Answer directly, use past tense consistently, and make supporting details specific. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "so", "sometimes") and correct small errors ("a couple of friends joined me", "made the walk enjoyable"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I often walked when I was a child because we had no bus and the school was nearby. Sometimes a couple of friends joined me, which made the walk more enjoyable. I remember walking home almost every day after school.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and more precise vocabulary. Use correct verbs ("walk in parks to stay healthy") and avoid ambiguity ("work in park" should be "walk in the park" or "spend time in the park"). Add a linking phrase to connect ideas and give a concise example.

示例: People walk in parks mainly to stay healthy and relieve stress after a busy day. For example, I enjoy the trees and birds because the natural surroundings make me feel calm and refreshed.

建议: Use correct conditional grammar ("If I had the chance, I would walk on a beach") and avoid repetition. Make statements concise and use linking words to explain reasons. Use singular/plural correctly ("on a beach" or "on the beach").

示例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk on the beach because the sea helps me relax. I often imagine strolling along the shore and listening to the waves when I need to unwind.

建议: Use past or present perfect correctly for recent actions (e.g., "I have been walking" or "I went for a walk recently"). Provide clear frequency expressions ("three to four times a week") and concise reasons for not going. Avoid filler words.

示例: Recently I have been walking on the jogging path near my home about three to four times a week. However, I haven't gone there for the past month because I was busy with my studies and the heavy rain prevented me from going out.

× Yes, I like to work a lot and I try to work a lot uh, for maintain my, my healthy and I like to keep me as a healthy person.

✓ Yes, I like to walk a lot and I try to walk a lot to maintain my health and keep myself healthy.

The student used incorrect verbs and forms: 'work' instead of 'walk' (word choice, but treated as verb form), 'for maintain' is incorrect; after 'try to' the base verb is required, and 'maintain my health' uses the correct noun. 'Keep me as a healthy person' is unnatural; use 'keep myself healthy'. Use 'to' before infinitives (to maintain). Use appropriate noun 'health'.

× Umm, if I had a free time on evenings, I would like to go out with myself listening to music while walking umm, I.

✓ If I had free time in the evenings, I would like to go out by myself and listen to music while walking.

'Have a free time' is incorrect: 'have free time' (no article). 'on evenings' should be 'in the evenings'. 'Go out with myself' is wrong; use 'by myself'. After 'would like to' use the infinitive 'to go' or rephrase; here 'and listen' is natural. Use base verb 'listen' not 'listening' after 'and'.

× I think I can relax with walking and it's good way to think about my future plans and, umm, things I learned recently, uh.

✓ I think I can relax by walking and it's a good way to think about my future plans and things I have learned recently.

'Relax with walking' is awkward; use 'relax by walking'. 'it's good way' needs the article 'a good way'. 'things I learned recently' should be present perfect 'I have learned' because 'recently' connects past actions to the present.

× I'm not completely sure but I walked home after school when I was a child.

✓ I'm not completely sure, but I used to walk home after school when I was a child.

When describing habitual past actions, 'used to' is more natural than simple past 'I walked' for repeated actions in childhood. Also add a comma after the introductory clause.

× We didn't have a bus and I lived close to the school so walking was the only option.

✓ We didn't have a bus, and I lived close to the school, so walking was the only option.

Add commas to separate clauses for clarity. Conjunctions 'and' and 'so' are correct but punctuation is needed to show clause boundaries.

× Umm sometimes couple of friends which made the work enjoyable and they joined with me.

✓ Sometimes a couple of friends made the walk enjoyable and they joined me.

Use 'a couple of friends' with an article. 'Which' is incorrect for people; use a relative clause or restructure. 'Made the work enjoyable' is likely 'made the walk enjoyable'. 'Joined with me' should be 'joined me'.

× People often walk in parks to stay healthy and to relieve stress after busy day.

✓ People often walk in parks to stay healthy and to relieve stress after a busy day.

Missing article 'a' before 'busy day' is incorrect. Use 'a busy day' to refer to a typical day.

× When I work in park, I enjoy the natural surroundings, trees, birds and other wildlife which help me feel calm and refreshed.

✓ When I walk in the park, I enjoy the natural surroundings: trees, birds and other wildlife, which help me feel calm and refreshed.

'Work in park' is wrong; context indicates 'walk in the park'. Use article 'the park'. Add commas and a colon for clarity. Relative clause 'which help me...' correctly refers to 'trees, birds and other wildlife'.

× If I have a chance, I would like to say I like to walk in a beach because beach is my favorite place to relax and I always enjoy walking by the sea if I had a chance or if I had a beach nearby my house.

✓ If I had the chance, I would say I like to walk on a beach because the beach is my favorite place to relax and I always enjoy walking by the sea if I have the chance or if there is a beach near my house.

Conditional mismatch: use 'If I had the chance' with 'would'. 'Walk in a beach' should be 'walk on a beach'. Use definite article 'the beach'. Maintain consistent condition tenses: 'if I have the chance' for a real future possibility. 'Nearby my house' should be 'near my house' or 'nearby'.

× I definitely go there when I was free.

✓ I definitely went there when I was free.

Tense mismatch: 'when I was free' is past, so the verb should be past 'went' not 'go'.

× Uh, when I am free I definitely say it would be help me to relax.

✓ When I am free, I definitely say it would help me to relax.

Remove extra 'be' after 'would'. Correct modal verb construction: 'would help me' is correct. Also add commas for clarity.

× Recently I go for a walk, uh, jogging path close to my home.

✓ Recently I went for a walk on the jogging path close to my home.

'Recently' with a past action should use past tense 'went'. Use preposition 'on the jogging path'. Add article 'the'.

× I go there three to four times per work for week.

✓ I go there three to four times per week for work.

Incorrect word order and prepositions: 'per week' is the correct time expression. 'For work' indicates purpose and should come after the frequency.

× Umm, but umm. I unable to go there within one month because I, uh, a little busy with my recent studies and rain also goes to, uh, recent, uh.

✓ However, I was unable to go there for a month because I was a little busy with my recent studies, and it was raining recently.

Sentence fragments and tense issues: 'I unable to go' requires auxiliary 'was unable to'. 'Within one month' is better 'for a month'. 'Rain also goes to recent' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is 'it was raining recently'. Use past tense to match 'was unable'.