走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid contradictions ("not into physical activities" vs "committed to walk"), and limit to 3–4 sentences. Use linking words (however, because) correctly and give a brief reason and routine detail.

示例: I don’t do a lot of intense exercise, but I make it a point to walk every day because it helps me stay fit. I usually go for a walk in the late afternoon, around 3 to 4 PM, when the weather is cooler.

建议: Use past tense consistently and be more specific. Give one or two concrete details and remove repetition. Use linking words (for example, because) to clarify reasons.

示例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child because I had more free time. For example, I used to stroll to the park with my friends after school to play games and chat.

建议: Be precise and avoid filler words. State the main reasons clearly (fresh air, scenery, safety) and give a brief explanation. Use linking words (for example, and therefore) to connect ideas.

示例: People like walking in parks because of the fresh air and pleasant scenery. For example, parks are usually peaceful and safe, so walking there makes exercise more enjoyable and helps people stay active.

建议: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Remove hesitations and repetition. Mention why you chose the place (scenery, atmosphere) and what you would do there.

示例: I would love to take a long walk along Santa Catalina Beach because I enjoy watching the sunset there. The ocean breeze and open space would make it a relaxing and memorable walk.

建议: Use correct tense and simplify the sentence. Start with a topic sentence stating where you went, then give a reason (safety, convenience). Avoid repeating words like "since".

示例: In the past few days I have been walking around the subdivision near my house. I prefer that area because it feels safe and there are security guards on patrol.

× Well, honestly, I am not really into physical activities, however, I am committed to walk for every day as this activity will help me to be physically fit.

✓ Well, honestly, I am not really into physical activities; however, I am committed to walking every day because this activity will help me stay physically fit.

The sentence uses an incorrect verb form after 'committed to' (needs gerund) and has awkward phrasing 'for every day'. Also 'help me to be physically fit' is more naturally 'help me stay physically fit'. Use a semicolon or period to separate independent clauses and replace 'walk' with the gerund 'walking'.

× I usually walk around 3:00 to 4:00 PM.

✓ I usually walk from 3:00 to 4:00 PM.

Use the correct preposition 'from...to...' to indicate a time range. 'Around' is used for approximate times, but the sentence gives a clear range, so 'from' is more appropriate.

× In the past, I really have a lot of time to do various things and yes, I do really love to walk outside when I was a child, especially when I want to hang out with my friends and meet with them.

✓ In the past, I really had a lot of time to do various things, and yes, I really loved to walk outside when I was a child, especially when I wanted to hang out with my friends and meet them.

Mixed tenses: 'have' and 'do love' are present forms but context is past. Change to past simple ('had', 'loved', 'wanted') to match past time reference. Also use 'meet them' instead of 'meet with them' for natural phrasing.

× We will have time to we we would have the time to play with each other.

✓ We would have time to play with each other.

The sentence contains repeated fragments and mixed future-in-past forms. Simplify to a single past or conditional phrase. Here 'would have time' expresses habitual past possibility; remove duplication and extra words.

× There are many reasons why people find it beneficial if they are walking in parks.

✓ There are many reasons why people find it beneficial to walk in parks.

Use the infinitive 'to walk' after 'find it beneficial' rather than a continuous clause. Also 'if they are walking' is unnecessary and awkward in this general statement.

× However, in my observation, people really love to walk because it really benefits their umm physical feet and it also helps them to be more active in everyday life.

✓ However, in my observation, people really love to walk because it benefits their physical health and helps them be more active in everyday life.

'Physical feet' is incorrect; the intended meaning is 'physical health'. Remove filler 'umm' and avoid repeating 'really'. Use 'helps them be' or 'helps them to be' for smoother phrasing.

× There are a lot of places in where I live that will be suitable when I will be I will be having the chance to walk, but for me it is better if I will be walking around Santa Catalina Beach, which I really love to to see the sunset.

✓ There are a lot of places where I live that would be suitable if I had the chance to walk, but I would prefer walking around Santa Catalina Beach because I really love to see the sunset there.

Remove the incorrect preposition 'in where' (use 'where'). Avoid unnecessary future-in-future 'will be I will be having'; use conditional 'would be' or 'if I had the chance'. Use 'prefer walking' or 'would prefer to walk' and correct 'to to' duplication. Add 'there' to clarify location of the sunset.

× This past few days if I had a an available time, I've been going on a walk around the subdivision near in our house since I felt more secured and safe when I am walking around there since there are a lot of securities.

✓ In the past few days, when I had available time, I have been going for walks around the subdivision near our house because I feel more secure and safe walking there since there is a lot of security.

Tense and article issues: 'This past few days' should be 'In the past few days'. Use 'when I had available time' (past) or 'when I have had time' depending on meaning; here keep present perfect 'have been going' with 'when I had available time' is acceptable. Use 'going for walks' or 'going on walks'. 'Near in our house' is incorrect—use 'near our house'. 'More secured' is wrong; use 'more secure' or simply 'secure'. 'Securities' is incorrect for 'security' as an uncountable noun.