走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence then add one or two specific reasons or an example using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'jobs' → 'job', 'it has a big benefits' → 'it has many benefits').

示例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk to my school and to my job, which keeps me fit and saves money on transport. For example, walking for 30 minutes each day helps me feel more energetic and reduces stress.

建议: Answer directly then give a brief reason. Use correct tense and reduce fragments. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Fix pronunciation errors in delivery (e.g., 'I was young').

示例: Not really. I mainly went outside to play with friends or when my family took me out, because my parents did not allow me to go out alone when I was young.

建议: Reduce hesitations and speaking fillers. Give a clear topic sentence and two specific reasons with linking words. Use vocabulary correctly (e.g., 'greenery', 'benches' instead of 'seats to seat').

示例: People like walking in parks because the environment is peaceful and green. For instance, parks have trees and flowers and many benches where people can rest, so they are ideal for exercise and relaxation.

建议: Be specific and use correct prepositions (e.g., 'on the beach' or 'along the shore'). Provide a reason and a short image or example. Avoid incomplete sentences.

示例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk along the beach because I have never visited one before. Walking on the sand and listening to the sound of the waves would be very relaxing and refreshing.

建议: Use correct tense and cleaner phrasing. Start with a clear answer about a recent walk, then add a brief habitual detail with linking words. Remove unnecessary fillers.

示例: Recently I went for a walk around the streets near my home. I live in the capital of Mongolia, so I walk around the city almost every day to get to my school.

× Yes, I do. I walk a lot. I often walk. I walk. I often walk to my school and my job job and I really like walking because it's it has a big benefits.

✓ Yes, I do. I walk a lot. I often walk to my school and my job, and I really like walking because it has big benefits.

Errors: unnecessary repetition ('I walk' repeated) and duplicated word ('job job'), incorrect use of 'it's it has' and article with 'benefits'. Suggestions: remove repeated fragments, keep a single clear sentence, use 'it has' or 'walking has' but not both, and do not use 'a' before plural 'benefits'. Improve by saying concise sentences: 'I often walk to my school and my job, and I really like walking because it has many benefits.'

× Not really when I was a child I only went outside to play with my friends or to go out with my family and my parents didn't allow me to go outside alone because I'm was a young I was a.

✓ Not really. When I was a child, I only went outside to play with my friends or to go out with my family, and my parents didn't allow me to go outside alone because I was young.

Errors: tense and unnecessary auxiliaries. 'I'm was' is incorrect mix of present and past; use past 'I was young'. Also run-on sentence; add punctuation and remove repetition 'I was a'. Improve by separating into clear clauses and using past tense consistently: 'When I was a child... I was young.'

× The most people, uh, would like to work in the parks because it's, uh, it's, uh, the reason why they like is the, uh, parks environment. Uh, there is a lot of, there is a greenery and, umm, the, a lot of, uh, significant number of seats to seat and.

✓ Most people like to walk in parks because they like the park environment. There is a lot of greenery and many seats to sit on.

Errors: 'The most people' should be 'Most people' (article error), 'work in the parks' should be 'walk in parks' (word choice), 'the parks environment' should be 'the park environment' or 'parks' environment' (article/order), 'a lot of greenery' not 'there is a greenery', and 'seats to seat' should be 'seats to sit on'. Use 'many' for countable 'seats'. Improve by using correct collocations and articles and choosing appropriate quantifiers: 'a lot of greenery' and 'many seats to sit on.'

× If I had the chance, I would definitely like to walk in the sea, over the sea, in the sea because I haven't, I have never visited to the beach area, so it's kind of relaxing. The sound waves of the ocean is.

✓ If I had the chance, I would definitely like to walk along the sea or on the beach because I have never visited the beach area, and it sounds relaxing. The sound of the waves of the ocean is relaxing.

Errors: preposition misuse ('walk in the sea' suggests being in water; use 'along the sea' or 'on the beach'), incorrect sequence of perfect tense ('I haven't, I have never visited to the beach' should be 'I have never visited the beach'), and subject-verb agreement ('The sound waves ... is' should be 'are' or use 'The sound of the waves ... is'). Improve by choosing correct prepositions, combining negatives correctly, and matching subject and verb: 'I have never visited the beach' and 'the sound of the waves is relaxing.'

× Currently I went for a walk in the streets. So yeah, I live in a capital city of Mongolia, so I almost, I everyday, uh, walk, uh, around the city to uh, reach the my school.

✓ Recently I went for a walk in the streets. I live in the capital city of Mongolia, so almost every day I walk around the city to reach my school.

Errors: 'Currently I went' mixes present adverb with past tense; use 'Recently I went' or 'I am currently going'. 'a capital city of Mongolia' should be 'the capital city of Mongolia' (article), 'I almost, I everyday' incorrect adverb placement and repetition; use 'almost every day'. Remove extra 'the' before 'my school'. Improve by placing time adverbs correctly (e.g., 'recently', 'almost every day') and using definite article for a unique noun: 'the capital city of Mongolia.'