走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify your main point with a direct topic sentence, avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases, and use coherent supporting details. Keep answers concise (1–3 sentences) and use linking words for coherence. Correct grammar: use present simple for habits and correct pronouns.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot, usually in Royal Park because it is close to my home on Shirapur Road. In addition, walking there helps me stay healthy and reduces stress because the park is peaceful and has clean air.

建议: Start with a clear past-tense topic sentence and give two supporting details using linking words. Reduce fillers (uh, umm) and correct verb forms (liked, walked). Be specific about activities and frequency.

示例: Yes, when I was a child I often visited Royal Park after school. For example, my friends and I played football and tag there, and we spent about an hour every afternoon keeping active and socializing.

建议: Give a clear general reason first, then list specific reasons using linking words. Avoid unclear place names and inconsistent ideas. Use simple, accurate vocabulary to describe facilities and benefits.

示例: People like walking in parks because parks offer fresh air and open space. For instance, parks often have exercise equipment, peaceful areas for meditation, and playgrounds where children can play safely.

建议: Answer conditionals clearly (I would/If I had the chance) and give specific reasons for choosing that place. Avoid repetition and unclear descriptions. Use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in Royal Park because it is very large and has many facilities such as walking trails and benches. Moreover, the quiet environment would help me relax during a long walk.

建议: Answer directly in past tense for a recent action and avoid unnecessary questions to the examiner. Use clear sequence words (first, then) and correct tense consistency. Remove repetitions and awkward phrasing.

示例: Yes, today I woke up early and went to Royal Park. First I sat under my favorite banyan tree and then I did some yoga because the area is quiet and peaceful.

× Yes, I want to work for me because he's sleeping and hungry and sick and I walk in Royal Park.

✓ Yes, I walk for my health because I'm often tired, hungry, or sick, and I walk in Royal Park.

The original mixes tenses and uses incorrect phrasing 'want to work for me' and 'he's' incorrectly. The speaker should use present simple for habitual actions (I walk) and present simple/adjectives for states (I am tired). Use 'for my health' rather than 'for me' to express purpose. Also 'he's' is incorrect reference; use 'I'm' if referring to self.

× It is nearby the Shirapur Road and it's away from disease.

✓ It is near Shirapur Road and helps me avoid illness.

Use 'near' not 'nearby the'. 'Nearby' is an adverb or adjective used differently. 'Away from disease' is unnatural; use 'helps me avoid illness' to express prevention. Also article 'the' before road name is unnecessary.

× It is very helpful to keeping me healthy and fit.

✓ It is very helpful in keeping me healthy and fit.

After 'helpful' the correct structure is 'helpful in doing something' or use the gerund 'keeping' with a preposition. 'To keeping' is incorrect (mixes infinitive marker 'to' with gerund). Use 'in keeping' or 'for keeping'.

× When I was child, I like to visit Royal Park after school.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to visit Royal Park after school.

Missing article 'a' before 'child'. Also the time reference 'When I was a child' requires past tense 'liked' for habitual past actions, not present 'like'.

× I, I walked that park because it keeps me healthy and, uh, my friend and, uh, friends and I played many games in that park and, umm, did many activities that time and uh, free time.

✓ I used to walk to that park because it kept me healthy. My friends and I played many games in the park and did many activities during our free time.

Story refers to past habits; use past tense 'used to/kept' rather than present 'keeps'. Simplify and separate ideas into clear sentences. 'Walked that park' is incorrect collocation; use 'walked to that park' or 'went to that park'.

× Many people vowed in Baaghi, Burma, in the work, there are many facilities available, such as machines and new technologies, and it adopts spend their time in work, They did the job of meditations, and the children enjoy the activities.

✓ Many people in Baaghi, Burma, go to parks for exercise; there are many facilities available, such as machines and new technologies. They spend time exercising, practice meditation, and children enjoy the activities.

Original has many incorrect prepositions and verbs: 'vowed in' should be 'in' or 'go to parks', 'in the work' is unclear. 'Adopts spend their time in work' is incorrect grammar and word choice. Use 'spend time exercising' or 'spend their time at the park'. Use parallel verb forms 'spend', 'practice', 'enjoy'.

× I like to visit Royal Park. It is located in a sharp Rd.

✓ I would like to visit Royal Park. It is located on Sharp Road.

Use conditional 'would like' for preferences in hypothetical or polite contexts. Use preposition 'on' with road names and capitalize and use 'Road' not 'Rd.' when writing. 'Sharp' previously lowercase here; proper noun capitalization required.

× In this park there are many facilities available and this park is very huge and the Titanic park.

✓ This park has many facilities; it is very large and impressive.

'Huge' is fine but 'the Titanic park' is incorrect metaphor and article usage. Use clearer adjectives like 'large' and 'impressive'. Avoid unnecessary repetition 'this park' twice; combine ideas.

× So that's why I visit uh, visit this park.

✓ So that's why I visit this park.

Redundant repetition 'visit uh, visit' should be reduced to a single 'visit'. For habitual present, present simple 'visit' is correct; no tense change needed if speaking about general preference.

× Are you talking about today? I wake up early in the morning, then I went to the Royal Park Park and I I sit on my favorite banyan tree.

✓ Do you mean today? I woke up early this morning, then I went to Royal Park and sat under my favorite banyan tree.

Use consistent past tense for completed actions today: 'woke up', 'went', 'sat'. 'Are you talking about today?' can be rephrased to 'Do you mean today?' 'Sit on my favorite banyan tree' is awkward; 'sat under' is natural.

× And in this tree I did some yoga and this area is very full, peaceful.

✓ I did some yoga under the tree, and the area was very peaceful and not crowded.

'In this tree' is incorrect; use 'under the tree'. 'Very full, peaceful' contradicts; likely intended 'not crowded and peaceful'. Use clear adjectives and correct word order.

× That's why I sit there and did some activities.

✓ That's why I sat there and did some activities.

Mixing present 'sit' with past 'did' is inconsistent. Use past tense 'sat' to match 'did'. Maintain consistent tense for past events.