爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatical: begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct noun forms and word order (e.g., “portraits” not “a portraits”, “landscapes” not “landscape”). Avoid repetition.

示例: I enjoy sketching and drawing, especially portraits and landscapes. For example, since childhood I have practised drawing family members and local scenery, which helped me improve my shading and proportion. Recently, I completed a portrait of my teacher that took several days to finish.

建议: Use past tense consistently for childhood activities and make sentences clearer and shorter. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific example with a linking word like “for example” or “also.” Avoid unclear phrases such as “on a different behalf of any person.”

示例: Yes, I did. As a child I loved sketching people and landscapes. For example, when my family travelled I would draw scenes from the trip, such as the town square or portraits of strangers I met, which helped me remember places.

建议: Answer directly and avoid filler words like “uh.” Use correct tense and more precise phrasing. Give one clear supporting detail and use a linking phrase (e.g., “because” or “so”) to explain why you kept the hobby.

示例: Yes, I have sketched since I was a child. I continued because I enjoyed capturing people’s expressions and the atmosphere of places, so I practised regularly and improved my technique.

建议: Organise your response: start with a clear topic sentence about family hobbies, then give brief specific examples. Use correct grammar and simpler vocabulary (e.g., “My sister played tennis as a child and is now a coach”). Avoid vague phrases like “all the things.”

示例: Not really; our hobbies differ. For example, my sister loved tennis as a child and she became a tennis coach, while my parents are interested in running and managing their small business, so they spend free time reading business books and planning.

× Well, I love doing sketches and drawing and especially a portraits of landscape and a particular person which I have followed from my childhood when I was in the school.

✓ Well, I love doing sketches and drawing, especially portraits of landscapes and particular people which I have followed since my childhood when I was at school.

The sentence misuses the articles 'a' before plural nouns and mixes singular/plural forms. Use plural 'portraits' and 'landscapes' without 'a'. Replace 'a particular person' with 'particular people' to match general practice. Use 'since my childhood' and 'at school' for correct prepositions and time expression. Suggestion: Make plural nouns consistent and use 'since' for a period starting in the past and 'at school' for being enrolled in school.

× I like to make a sketch in drawings.

✓ I like making sketches and drawings.

The phrase 'a sketch in drawings' is incorrect quantifier and word choice. Use the gerund 'making' to express a hobby and plural nouns 'sketches and drawings' for general activities. Suggestion: Use 'making' + plural nouns to describe repeated activities.

× Yes, I do have a hobby.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby.

The original uses present simple with unnecessary auxiliary 'do' in affirmative sentence. Use 'I have' for present possession. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary auxiliary verbs in positive present-tense statements.

× When I was a child I like to make a sketch and portraits of a person or a specific landscape.

✓ When I was a child I liked to make sketches and portraits of people or specific landscapes.

The time clause 'When I was a child' sets the time in the past, so the main verb should be in past tense 'liked', not present 'like'. Also use plural nouns for general activities. Suggestion: Match verb tense to the time expression and use plurals for habitual actions.

× When I used to go on a travel trip that I used to make sketch on a different behalf of any person beyond the landscapes.

✓ When I went on trips I used to make sketches of different people and landscapes.

The original contains incorrect prepositions and awkward phrases: 'on a travel trip' is wordy, 'make sketch on a different behalf of any person beyond the landscapes' is ungrammatical. Use 'went on trips' and 'make sketches of' to indicate subjects. Remove 'behalf' and 'beyond'. Suggestion: Use simple phrases 'went on trips' and 'make sketches of' for clarity.

× Yes, I like to have to sketch, uh, of a portraits and landscape.

✓ Yes, I like to sketch portraits and landscapes.

Incorrect article usage: 'to have to sketch' is wrong here, and 'a portraits' mixes singular article with plural noun. Use 'like to sketch' or 'like sketching' and plural nouns without 'a'. Suggestion: Use 'like to' + base verb or gerund and correct article-noun agreement.

× When I was child I used to make the sketches on behalf of any person of uh, any landscape I would like to.

✓ When I was a child I used to make sketches of people and landscapes that I liked.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' and awkward phrase 'on behalf of any person of ... I would like to.' Use 'used to' correctly for past habits and 'make sketches of' to indicate the object. Simplify to 'people and landscapes that I liked.' Suggestion: Include necessary articles ('a child') and simplify phrasing for clarity.

× I know definitely job person are interested in in many particular thing.

✓ I know some people are definitely interested in many particular things.

The original mixes singular and plural incorrectly: 'job person' and 'thing' should be plural. Use 'some people' for unspecified people and 'many particular things' for countable items. Also remove duplicate 'in'. Suggestion: Ensure noun number matches context and remove repeated words.

× My sister was used to play tennis in their childhood and since the hobby is still in a life that she's a tennis coach right now.

✓ My sister used to play tennis in her childhood and, since that hobby continued, she is a tennis coach now.

'Was used to play' is incorrect; use 'used to play' for past habits. 'Their childhood' should be 'her childhood' to agree with 'sister'. The clause about continuing hobby is unclear; rewrite to show continuity and current role. Suggestion: Use 'used to' for past habitual actions, correct pronoun to 'her', and connect past hobby to present outcome clearly.

× Talking about my parents, they have different hobbies like to manage business and learn to about business and all the things.

✓ As for my parents, they have different hobbies such as managing a business and learning about business and related things.

After 'hobbies' use gerunds ('managing', 'learning') rather than 'to manage' and 'learn to about'. 'Learn to about' is incorrect. Use 'such as' to list examples and 'a business' or 'business' with appropriate article. Suggestion: Use gerund forms to list hobbies and correct prepositional phrase 'learning about business'.