爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (how often you play, achievements, or what you gain). Use correct tense and articles (e.g., “since I was eight”). Avoid redundancy like repeating “hobby” too often.

示例: Yes. I have two main hobbies: tennis and playing the piano. I have played tennis since I was eight and practice three times a week, which keeps me fit and competitive. I also play the piano because it calms me and helps me express my emotions after a busy day.

建议: Improve grammar and coherence: avoid repeated fillers and contractions like “wanna” in formal speech. Use linking words to show sequence (e.g., “first,” “also”) and give specific details (how long you did each hobby, why you quit, what skills you gained). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes. As a child I did rhythmic gymnastics for five years, but I had to stop because of school commitments, which I now regret. I also learned piano from age six; it remains a relaxing hobby that helps me express myself and improves my concentration.

建议: Clarify and correct errors (e.g., “hobbies,” not “homes”); avoid listing without structure. State the main point first, then briefly describe each with one specific detail. Use linking words (first, second, finally) to organize ideas and correct word forms.

示例: Yes — I have three hobbies from childhood: tennis, rhythmic gymnastics and piano. First, tennis keeps me fit and I practice a few times a week. Second, rhythmic gymnastics felt like an art form and improved my flexibility. Finally, piano helps me express emotions and improve concentration.

建议: Speak more clearly and use correct sentence structure. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No), then briefly explain with specific contrasts. Avoid fillers like “oh” and unclear phrases. Use proper verbs (e.g., “my brother plays football,” “my mother does Pilates”).

示例: No, we don't share the same hobbies. My brother plays football, my mother practices Pilates, and I play tennis; although my mother and I sometimes exercise together, our hobbies are largely different.

× I've been playing tennis since I became 8 and I absolutely love it.

✓ I've been playing tennis since I was eight, and I absolutely love it.

Use 'since' with a point in time; 'became 8' is ungrammatical. The correct expression is 'since I was eight' (past state) and write numbers in words for small numbers. Use a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses.

× Piano just makes me calm and it's a really amazing skill that will help me in life.

✓ Playing the piano just calms me, and it's an amazing skill that will help me in life.

When referring to an activity as a hobby, use the gerund 'playing the piano'. 'Makes me calm' is more natural as 'calms me'. Remove redundant modifiers 'really' or place them sparingly.

× I've been playing tennis since I became 8 and I absolutely love it.

✓ I've been playing tennis since I was eight, and I absolutely love it.

Same sentence as first; 'became 8' is incorrect; use past simple 'was eight' to indicate age in the past.

× Yes, I had quite a few hobbies when I was a child, for example, rhythmic gymnastics, but unfortunately I had to quit it.

✓ Yes, I had quite a few hobbies when I was a child, for example rhythmic gymnastics, but unfortunately I had to quit it.

Grammar is mostly correct; remove the comma after 'for example' or keep without 'it' referring correctly to 'rhythmic gymnastics'. Consider 'quit it' is acceptable but 'quit' alone is more natural: 'I had to quit.'

× But now I really regret it and I really wanna go back.

✓ But now I really regret it and I really want to go back.

Avoid informal 'wanna' in formal speech; 'want to' is correct. Pronoun 'it' refers to the activity; sentence is otherwise fine.

× But another hobby that I had was again playing the piano.

✓ Another hobby I had was playing the piano again.

Word order: 'again' follows the verb phrase to clearly indicate repetition. 'That I had' can be simplified to 'I had'.

× It's really relaxing and it's a valuable skilled out will help me express myself even now.

✓ It's really relaxing and it's a valuable skill that still helps me express myself.

'Skilled out' is incorrect; the noun is 'skill'. Use 'still helps' instead of 'will help me ... even now' to indicate current effect. Fix word order and choose appropriate tense.

× There are two homes that I have since childhood even 3 rhythmic gymnastics, piano and tennis.

✓ There are three hobbies that I have had since childhood: rhythmic gymnastics, piano, and tennis.

Multiple issues: 'homes' should be 'hobbies'; 'two' contradicts '3'; use 'have had since childhood' to indicate duration; use a colon to introduce a list and commas between items.

× Then a rhythmic gymnastics is like a piece of art and absolutely love art.

✓ Rhythmic gymnastics is like a piece of art, and I absolutely love it.

Do not use the article 'a' before a sport with 'gymnastics'. Add subject 'I' for the second clause and 'it' to refer back. Include comma before coordinating conjunction.

× And the last is piano. Piano really helps me express myself and really brings about my emotions.

✓ And lastly, the piano. The piano really helps me express myself and brings out my emotions.

Use 'the piano' when referring to the instrument. 'Brings about my emotions' is awkward; 'brings out my emotions' is idiomatic. Use 'lastly' for sequence.

× Family members unfortunately no me and my family who do not share the same hobbies.

✓ Unfortunately, my family members and I do not share the same hobbies.

Original lacks proper word order and auxiliary; correct subject order is 'my family members and I'. Place 'unfortunately' appropriately and use present simple 'do not share'.

× My brother stayed the football while my mom she does Pilates and I do tennis so 10.

✓ My brother plays football, while my mom does Pilates, and I play tennis.

'Stayed the football' is wrong; use 'plays football'. Remove redundant pronoun 'she'. Use parallel verbs 'plays/does/play'. Remove extraneous 'so 10'.

× Oh we all my family members share quite different hobbies.

✓ We all have quite different hobbies in my family.

Original word order is incorrect. Use 'We all have quite different hobbies' or 'My family members all have quite different hobbies'.

× Oh however me and my mom we have some common sports that we do but there are no hobbies.

✓ However, my mom and I have some sports in common, but we don't share any hobbies.

Use subject pronoun order 'my mom and I'. 'We have some common sports' is better phrased as 'have some sports in common'. 'There are no hobbies' is unclear; 'we don't share any hobbies' conveys meaning.