爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "Yes, I have several hobbies, and my main one is reading."). Avoid contradictory or awkward phrasing like "for a sporty hobbies I like to play ice skating"; say "I used to enjoy ice skating when I was young." Use one to three supporting details (what you read, when you skate) and keep it under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I have a few hobbies, and my main one is reading. I enjoy contemporary novels and non-fiction because they help me relax and learn new ideas. I also used to ice skate when I was young, which I found exciting and energetic.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and specific, grammatical reasons. Correct mistakes: use past tense "liked" and say "gliding on ice" or "feeling of freedom on the ice." Avoid trailing off; complete the thought with one or two specific examples. Use linking words like "also" or "in addition."

示例: Yes, when I was a child I liked ice skating because I enjoyed the smooth feeling of gliding on the ice and the sense of freedom it gave me. In addition, I took piano lessons for a few years, which taught me discipline and rhythm.

建议: Be specific and logical. State clearly whether you have a lifelong hobby (e.g., "Yes, I've played music since childhood"). Avoid unclear phrases like "our coat faded" or incomplete sentences. Provide concise supporting details: which instrument, how long you've practiced, and why you enjoy it. Keep sentences complete and use proper tense.

示例: Yes, I've loved music since I was a child. I started learning the piano at age six and later picked up the guitar and violin, which helped me appreciate different musical styles and improve my coordination.

建议: Structure the answer with a clear topic sentence and concise supporting details. Correct grammar: say "Yes, I share a hobby with my dad" and use past tense consistently ("He was a basketball player... he always taught me"). Add one specific example of a shared experience and its effect (e.g., bonding, skills learned). Keep under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I share a hobby with my dad: basketball. He played on his high school A team and taught me how to shoot and dribble when I was young, so playing together became a way for us to spend quality time and stay active.

× Well I'm not an outgoing person so my hobby would be reading and for a sporty hobbies I like to play ice skating when I was small.

✓ Well I'm not an outgoing person so my hobby would be reading, and for sporty hobbies I liked to do ice skating when I was small.

Errors: plural/article and tense. 'a sporty hobbies' mixes singular article with plural noun; change to 'sporty hobbies' (no article) or 'a sporty hobby'. The activity collocation is 'do ice skating' or 'ice skate'; since speaking about childhood, use past tense 'liked' and 'when I was small'. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity.

× As I mentioned before, when I was a child, I like to do ice skating because I enjoy the feelings of gliding on eyes and freedom on eyes. Apart from them, apart from it, I also like to.

✓ As I mentioned before, when I was a child, I liked to ice skate because I enjoyed the feeling of gliding on ice and the sense of freedom. Apart from that, I also liked other activities.

Tense inconsistency: talking about childhood requires past tense 'liked' and 'enjoyed'. Collocation: 'ice skate' or 'do ice skating' is correct; 'gliding on eyes' is a spelling error and should be 'gliding on ice'. 'Freedom on eyes' is incorrect; use 'the sense of freedom' or 'feeling of freedom'. 'Apart from them, apart from it' is repetitive and unclear; 'Apart from that' is appropriate. Finish sentence with a clear object.

× Well, our coat faded my hobby from many TV program and I was younger since childhood. I love to learn many hobbies like playing guitar, violin and many music instruments because I think the.

✓ Well, watching many TV programs when I was young broadened my hobbies. I love learning many hobbies, such as playing the guitar and the violin, and other musical instruments because I think they are interesting.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear: 'our coat faded my hobby' makes no sense. Likely intended meaning is 'watching TV programs influenced my hobbies'. Use past tense 'when I was young'. Use gerund 'learning' after 'love'. Include definite article before specific instruments: 'the guitar, the violin'. Finish the reason clause fully: 'because I think they are interesting' or specify opinion.

× Yes, I do have a same hobbies with my dad. He was a basketball player, A-Team player at high school and he always teach me how to play basketball when I was younger and we share quality time together.

✓ Yes, I do have the same hobbies as my dad. He was a basketball player, an A-team player at high school, and he always taught me how to play basketball when I was younger, so we shared quality time together.

Article and phrase errors: 'a same hobbies' mixes article and adjective with plural noun; correct is 'the same hobbies' or 'the same hobby'. Use 'as' not 'with' after 'the same hobbies'. Capitalization: 'A-Team' should be 'A-team' and needs an article 'an A-team player'. Tense consistency: 'teach' should be past 'taught' when referring to the past; 'we share' should be past 'we shared'. Add commas for clarity.