爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は意味が伝わるが、文法や語順、冗長さが目立ちます。トピック文で直接答えた後、理由や具体例を1〜2文で簡潔に述べるようにしましょう。接続詞（because, so, therefore）を正しく使い、語彙は重複を避けて自然な表現にしましょう。発音や流暢さ改善のため、文を短く区切って練習すると良いです。具体的な改善点：①“have it many hobbies”は誤り→“have many hobbies”。②“because I have much curiosity and to do”は不自然→“because I’m curious and like trying new things”。③“forget the busy my work”→“forget about being busy with work”。

示例: I have many hobbies, such as cooking, playing with my pets, and watching movies. I enjoy having varied interests because I’m curious and like trying new things. These hobbies keep me busy and help me forget about being stressed from work.

建议: 構成は良いが、文法と語彙の選択が不自然です。トピック文で過去の趣味を明確に述べ、理由や具体例を一貫した文で示しましょう。冗長な短文をまとめ、自然な接続語（for example, because, so）を使って論理を明確にしてください。改善ポイント：①“had some hobbies to play outside”→“liked playing outside”②“That is because I really have energy”→“because I had a lot of energy”③“Or doing exercises”不要なら削除。

示例: Yes. When I was a child I loved playing outside, especially soccer with my friends. I played a lot because I had a lot of energy and enjoyed exercising. For example, we often played matches in the park every weekend.

建议: 答えは伝わるが、時制と語順の誤りが多く、冗長です。過去から現在まで続いていることを示すには現在完了形を適切に使い、同じ語句の繰り返しを避けましょう。接続語で理由を簡潔に示し、具体的な頻度や状況（how often, where）を加えるとよいです。改善点：①“have continued to do soccer”→“I’ve continued playing soccer”②“I have played a soccer”→“I’ve played soccer since I was a child”③“I still have a chance to play soccer”→“I still play regularly”

示例: Yes. I’ve played soccer since I was a child, and I’ve continued playing it as a hobby. I still play regularly with friends at the local sports center, usually twice a week.

建议: 意図は明確だが、文法や語順、語彙選択に問題があります。家族との共有趣味を述べる際は、現在の状況を明確にし、具体例（どんな本、どのように意見交換するか）を1〜2文で示しましょう。'I and my mother'は不自然→'My mother and I'を使う。接続詞を使って因果関係や具体的なやり取りを整理してください。改善点：①“had a hobby about reading books”→“share a hobby of reading books”②“exchanged my ideas by reading same books”→“discuss the same books”③“I introduce new book to my mom and my mother gave me”→“I recommend books to her, and she recommends books to me.”

示例: Yes. My mother and I share a hobby of reading books because she encouraged me to read when I was young. We often read the same novels and discuss them, and we recommend new books to each other.

× Yes, I have it many hobbies such as cooking, playing with my pets and watching movies and so on.

✓ Yes, I have many hobbies such as cooking, playing with my pets, and watching movies.

'it many hobbies' is incorrect; 'many' modifies a plural noun so use 'I have many hobbies'. Remove 'it'. Also add commas for list clarity. Use 'and so on' sparingly; here a simple list is better. Suggestion: say 'I have many hobbies such as...' then list items separated by commas.

× The reason why I have so many hobbies is I have much curiosity and to do.

✓ The reason I have so many hobbies is that I am very curious and like to keep myself busy.

'much curiosity' is awkward in this context; use 'very curious' (adjective) or 'a lot of curiosity'. 'and to do' is ungrammatical. Use a clause 'like to keep myself busy' or 'want things to do'. Also add 'that' after 'is' for clarity.

× Many hobbies make me busy and I can forget the busy my work.

✓ Having many hobbies keeps me busy and helps me forget how busy my work is.

'forget the busy my work' is ungrammatical. Need 'forget how busy my work is' or 'forget about my busy work'. Also prefer gerund 'Having many hobbies' as subject. 'make me busy' acceptable but 'keeps me busy' is more natural.

× When I was a kid, I had some hobbies to play outside.

✓ When I was a kid, I had some hobbies that involved playing outside.

Use 'that involved playing outside' to express the nature of the hobbies. 'to play outside' is ambiguous; the past tense 'had' is correct, but the clause needs 'that involved' or 'like playing outside'.

× For example, I really loved to play soccer with my friends.

✓ For example, I really loved playing soccer with my friends.

With 'loved' (past tense), use the gerund 'playing' rather than the infinitive 'to play' for a natural expression of a hobby in the past.

× It was my hobby.

✓ It was my hobby.

This sentence is grammatical but redundant; keep if emphasis needed. No change necessary.

× That is because I really have energy.

✓ That is because I had a lot of energy.

Context is past ('When I was a kid'), so use past tense 'had'. 'really have energy' is unnatural; use 'had a lot of energy' or 'was very energetic'.

× Or doing exercises.

✓ I also enjoyed doing exercises.

'Or doing exercises.' is a sentence fragment. Make it a full sentence: subject + verb, e.g., 'I also enjoyed doing exercises.'

× Therefore I loved to go out.

✓ Therefore I loved going out.

With 'loved' use gerund 'going out' rather than infinitive 'to go out' for natural phrasing of habitual past activities.

× Yes, I have continued to do soccer as a hobby because uh, since I was a child, I have played a soccer and I still have a chance to play soccer.

✓ Yes, I have continued to play soccer as a hobby because, since I was a child, I have played soccer and I still have opportunities to play.

'continued to do soccer' is unnatural; use 'continued to play soccer' or 'continued playing soccer'. 'I have played a soccer' is wrong article use; 'soccer' is uncountable here, so no 'a'. 'have a chance' should be plural 'opportunities' or 'a chance'. Maintain present perfect 'have played' is okay if meaning is from past until now.

× Therefore I continued to play soccer as a hobby.

✓ Therefore I continued playing soccer as a hobby.

Both 'continued to play' and 'continued playing' are grammatical; using gerund 'continued playing' can sound more natural in this context. No major error; adjustment optional.

× Yes, I and my mother had a hobby about reading books because my mother introduced me the importance of reading books.

✓ Yes, my mother and I enjoyed reading books because my mother introduced me to the importance of reading.

Use 'my mother and I' (more natural order) and correct pronoun-object 'introduced me to' (need preposition 'to'). 'had a hobby about reading books' is awkward; use 'enjoyed reading books'. Avoid repeating 'books' unnecessarily.

× Therefore I and my mother exchanged my ideas by reading same books and I introduce new book to my mom and my mother gave me.

✓ Therefore my mother and I exchanged ideas by reading the same books; I introduced new books to my mother and she recommended some to me.

'I and my mother' should be 'my mother and I'. 'exchanged my ideas' should be 'exchanged ideas'. 'reading same books' needs 'the same books'. Tense consistency: use past 'introduced' and 'she recommended' if talking about past habits. Avoid awkward phrasing 'my mother gave me' — clarify as 'she recommended some to me' or 'she gave me books'.