爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence naming hobbies, then give two brief supporting details with correct tense and vocabulary. Reduce hesitations (umm) and avoid repetition (habit/hobby). Use linking words like “also” or “for example.”

示例: I have a few hobbies. For example, I like keeping my home very clean because tidying up helps me relax and sleep better. I also enjoy reading for about half an hour each night, which helps me learn new ideas.

建议: Use correct past tense and clearer vocabulary. Replace unclear words (breathe) with the intended activity (read). Give specific details (types of books or who recommended them). Limit to 2–4 sentences and use linking words like “also” or “because.”

示例: When I was a child I enjoyed reading every day for about an hour because it helped me relax and learn about the world. My family often recommended storybooks and we discussed them together, which also helped me improve my vocabulary.

建议: Clarify and correct grammar and vocabulary. Use simple, accurate phrases: ‘I have been swimming since I was a child.’ Avoid unclear phrases like ‘swing listen’ or ‘local Med.’ Provide one or two concrete supporting details (how often, benefits).

示例: I have been swimming since I was a child because I find it relaxing and it is a great way to stay fit. When I was young I practiced every weekend and even competed in local meets, which improved my technique and confidence.

建议: Improve clarity and grammar. Use past tense for childhood actions and present tense for current habits. Replace vague phrases (‘touched me’, ‘burn over’) with clear verbs like ‘encouraged’ and ‘enjoy’. Give one supporting detail about practicing together.

示例: Yes. My father encouraged me when I was young because he noticed I was good at swimming, so we practiced together regularly. I still enjoy swimming now because it keeps me fit and is something my family and I share.

× Yes of course I believe that everyone maybe have some habit umm umm I have some habit.

✓ Yes, of course. I believe that everyone may have some habits.

The original uses 'maybe have' which is incorrect: 'maybe' is an adverb, while 'may' is the modal verb needed here. Also 'everyone' is singular and should be followed by 'have' as modal 'may' + base verb 'have'; change 'some habit' to 'some habits' to match general plural sense. Suggestion: use 'may' for possibility and plural 'habits' when speaking generally.

× For example, I enjoy keeping my home very clean and I always wash before going to the bed because it's keep me realized and feel comfortable.

✓ For example, I enjoy keeping my home very clean and I always wash before going to bed because it keeps me relaxed and comfortable.

Errors: 'going to the bed' — unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'bed' is incorrect (Article error as well) and 'going to bed' is the correct phrase. 'it's keep' mixes subject-verb form; use 'it keeps' (third person singular present). 'realized' is the wrong word; use 'relaxed' (adjective). Also 'feel comfortable' needs parallel structure: 'relaxed and comfortable.' Suggestion: use correct verb agreement and proper adjective choice.

× And I also like to reading for 1/2 an hour each time.

✓ And I also like reading for half an hour each time.

When using 'like' to express a general preference, follow with the gerund: 'like reading' (not 'like to reading'). Also write 'half an hour' instead of '1/2 an hour.' Suggestion: use 'like' + verb-ing for habits or preferences.

× As a child I love reading and I would breathe for an hour every day because it's helping to relax and learn the new world.

✓ As a child I loved reading and I would read for an hour every day because it helped me relax and learn about the new world.

Tense mismatch: talking about childhood requires past tense 'loved' not 'love.' 'would breathe' is incorrect; likely intended 'would read' ('breathe' is wrong word). 'it's helping' should be past: 'it helped me relax.' Also 'learn the new world' needs preposition 'about' and 'me' as object. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent when describing past habits and use correct verb choice.

× And my family often join me or recommend some books for me that we can umm, get to understand more knowledge and we can help me to umm umm, understand more vocabulary.

✓ And my family often joined me or recommended some books so I could learn more and expand my vocabulary.

Tense and pronoun issues: since referring to the past, verbs should be past tense ('joined', 'recommended'). 'recommend some books for me that we can get to understand more knowledge' is ungrammatical: use 'recommended some books so I could learn more' and 'expand my vocabulary' is more natural. Avoid redundant 'me' and unnecessary phrasing. Suggestion: simplify clauses and keep past tense consistent.

× I have been swimming since I was a child, because it is more relaxing, enjoyable because a great way to stay fit and sometimes I have some swing listen every weekend when I was young and sometimes I will complete in the local Med, which can help me improve my technology technical.

✓ I have been swimming since I was a child because it is relaxing and enjoyable, and it is a great way to stay fit. When I was young I sometimes did some diving lessons every weekend, and sometimes I competed in the local meet, which helped me improve my technical skills.

Multiple issues: 'have been swimming since I was a child' is correct (present perfect continuous). Sentence needs clearer structure. 'it is more relaxing, enjoyable because a great way' missing article and connectors: use 'it is relaxing and enjoyable, and it is a great way'. 'swing listen' is incorrect; likely 'diving lessons'. 'will complete in the local Med' is wrong tense and words; use past 'competed in the local meet'. 'improve my technology technical' should be 'improve my technical skills.' Suggestion: split into clearer sentences, correct noun phrases, and match past tense for past events.

× Yes of course when I was young my father noticed I was good at swimming so he touched me and we practiced together regularly.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was young, my father noticed I was good at swimming, so he taught me and we practiced together regularly.

'he touched me' is incorrect and likely a mistake for 'he taught me.' Use 'taught' for instruction. Also add commas for clarity and keep past tense 'noticed.' Suggestion: choose correct verb to convey meaning and use proper punctuation.

× And still enjoying swimming now because it's keep me fit and it is something we burn over.

✓ I still enjoy swimming now because it keeps me fit and it is something I can do regularly.

Grammatical issues: sentence lacks subject ('And still enjoying' should be 'I still enjoy'). 'it's keep me fit' needs subject-verb agreement: 'it keeps me fit.' 'something we burn over' is unclear and ungrammatical; replace with a clear phrase such as 'something I can do regularly' or 'something I benefit from.' Suggestion: include subject, correct verb agreement, and use clear idiomatic expressions.