花— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid unclear words (e.g. “indifference”), and give one specific supporting detail. Keep it under 5 sentences and use linking words for coherence.

示例: Yes, I love flowers because they smell wonderful and have bright colours. For example, I enjoy receiving roses from my partner because they make me feel appreciated. Also, when I see flowers at a market, I often stop to admire their colours.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and use correct grammar and relevant details. Avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases (the sentence about 'given milk' is unclear). Add one or two specific examples of how your mom shows her love of flowers and use linking words.

示例: Yes, my mother loves flowers. For instance, she arranges fresh blooms in vases every week and tends a small balcony garden. Because of this, our home always smells fresh and looks colourful.

建议: Give a clear direct answer, correct word order, and add a specific detail or contrast. Use linking words like 'because' or 'however' to make your point coherent.

示例: No, there are not many flowers around my home because I live in a densely built urban area. As a result, we mostly see tall buildings and only a few small flower shops nearby.

建议: Give a concise topic sentence, fix grammar, avoid vague phrases like 'massive memory' and incomplete endings. Use linking words to explain when and why you photograph flowers, and give a specific example.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of flowers because I love their colours and patterns. For example, when I travel I photograph garden roses and local wildflowers to remember the trip and share them on social media.

建议: Answer directly and use accurate vocabulary and grammar. Replace unclear idioms like 'depending on the moon' with concrete cultural examples. Provide one or two specific occasions and use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, in the Philippines people often send flowers for occasions such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries and funerals. For instance, red roses are common on Valentine’s Day, while wreaths are typical at funerals.

× Yes, I love flowers because of their smell, their colors, their indifference. Really love flowers, especially if it was given by someone I love.

✓ Yes, I love flowers because of their smell and their colors. I really love flowers, especially if they are given by someone I love.

The original contains awkward word choice and agreement errors. 'Indifference' is the wrong noun; likely intended 'fragrance' or nothing—remove it. 'Really love flowers' is a sentence fragment missing subject; add 'I'. 'If it was given' uses singular 'it' for 'flowers' and past tense 'was' where a present general conditional is better. Use plural pronoun 'they' and present passive 'are given'. Improve fluency by joining smell and colors with 'and'. Suggestion: use correct noun choices and ensure subject presence and pronoun agreement.

× Yes, I do know someone who loves flower. It's my mom. She really loves flower. If it was given milk by my dad, by my brothers, and by you.

✓ Yes, I do know someone who loves flowers. It's my mom. She really loves flowers, especially if they are given by my dad, my brothers, or you.

'Flower' should be plural 'flowers' when speaking generally. 'If it was given milk by my dad' is ungrammatical and unclear—likely meant 'if they are given by my dad'. Also use 'or' for alternatives. Use present passive 'are given' for general statements. Ensure pronoun agreement: 'they' matches 'flowers'.

× No, there are no flowers around my home because really living in an urban area where we see a lot of buildings and we seldom see flower shops.

✓ No, there are no flowers around my home because I really live in an urban area where we see a lot of buildings and seldom see flower shops.

The original omitted a subject in 'really living'—add 'I' and use present simple 'live' for habitual fact. The rest is fine; keep 'there are no flowers'. This fixes sentence structure and subject presence.

× Yes, seems I really love flowers whenever you see one. I specifically take photos. When I do travel and I see flowers, my massive memory will just capture it because of my.

✓ Yes, I really love flowers whenever I see them. I often take photos. When I travel and see flowers, my memories just capture them because I love them.

'Seems I really love' is awkward; use 'I really love'. Pronoun 'you' should be 'I' to match speaker. 'One' should be 'them' (flowers plural). 'Specifically take photos' is unnatural—use 'often take photos'. 'When I do travel' -> 'When I travel'. 'My massive memory will just capture it because of my' is incomplete and ungrammatical; clarify as 'my memories just capture them because I love them'. Ensure subject-verb consistency and correct pronoun number.

× Hearing here in the Philippines, it is really among the story for Valentine's for a birthday, anniversary and even in funeral. Umm flower is a gift in any occasions depending on the moon.

✓ Here in the Philippines, it is common to give flowers on Valentine's Day, for birthdays, anniversaries, and even at funerals. Flowers are a gift on many occasions, depending on the situation.

'Hearing here' is wrong—use 'Here'. 'Among the story' is incorrect; use 'common' or 'part of the tradition'. Use correct prepositions: 'on Valentine's Day', 'for birthdays', 'at funerals'. 'Flower is a gift in any occasions' needs plural 'flowers' and 'on many occasions'. 'Depending on the moon' is unclear and likely wrong; replace with 'depending on the situation' or remove. Fix article and preposition usage and pluralization.