Part 1
Giám khảo
Can you remember the dreams you had?
Thí sinh
Yes, I remember that I had a dream about being on the stage like Lana Del Rey or They Must Sing from Megadeth and I was on the stage and they the followers on my Instagram accounts, they comes to listen to me and they admire of me. So I really enjoy it.
Giám khảo
Do you share your dreams with others? (or are you interested in others' dreams?)
Thí sinh
I used to really not enjoy to share my dreams to others, because if I share the dreams are not will not come true I believe in, but now I I I really share my dreams everyone.
Giám khảo
Do you think dreams have special meanings?
Thí sinh
Yes, because dreams are always relates with your self consciousness and indicates your self pets in your life and if you believe in your dreams you can find your pets truly.
Giám khảo
Do you want to make your dreams come true?
Thí sinh
Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because this is indicates how my real self is deep. So I want to play a guitar on the stage and due to this I practice every day.
Can you remember the dreams you had?
Điểm: 56.0Gợi ý: Cevap daha net ve daha doğal olmalı. Konu cümlesiyle doğrudan başlayın, gereksiz tekrarları ve dilbilgisi hatalarını düzeltin, ve destekleyici ayrıntıları bağlaçlarla mantıklı biçimde ekleyin. Örneğin sahnede olduğunuzu, kimin sizi dinlediğini ve nasıl hissettiğinizi kısa cümlelerle açıklayın.
Ví dụ: Yes, I can. I often dream that I am performing on stage like Lana Del Rey. In the dream, my Instagram followers come to watch me, and they applaud and admire my music, which makes me feel very happy.
Do you share your dreams with others? (or are you interested in others' dreams?)
Điểm: 48.0Gợi ý: Cümle yapısını basitleştirip zaman ve inanç ifadelerini doğru kullanın. Tekrarları kaldırın ve neden değiştiğinizi kısa bir neden-sonuç ile açıklayın. Bağlaçlar (because, but, now) doğru yerlerde kullanılmalı.
Ví dụ: I didn't used to share my dreams because I believed talking about them would stop them from coming true. But now I feel more open, so I share my dreams with friends and family to get support.
Do you think dreams have special meanings?
Điểm: 44.0Gợi ý: İfade ve kelime seçimini düzeltin; “self pets” gibi belirsiz ifadeler yerine net kelimeler kullanın. Kısa, mantıklı bir sebep verin ve örnek ekleyin. Bağlaçlarla cümleleri birbirine bağlayın.
Ví dụ: Yes, I think they can. Dreams often reflect our subconscious thoughts and emotions, so they can reveal worries or desires. For example, dreaming about being late might show anxiety about a deadline.
Do you want to make your dreams come true?
Điểm: 60.0Gợi ý: Giriş cümlesini net tutun, neden arzuladığınızı daha açık ifade edin ve günlük eylem(ler)inizi örnek verin. Gereksiz kelime tekrarlarını kaldırın ve bağlaçlarla mantık akışını güçlendirin.
Ví dụ: Yes, I do. Making my dreams come true shows who I really am, so I am determined to become a musician. For example, I practice guitar every day to improve my skills and prepare for performing on stage.
× I remember that I had a dream about being on the stage like Lana Del Rey or They Must Sing from Megadeth and I was on the stage and they the followers on my Instagram accounts, they comes to listen to me and they admire of me.
✓ I remember that I had a dream about being on stage like Lana Del Rey or the singers from Megadeth; I was on stage and my Instagram followers came to listen to me and admired me.
The sentence has multiple issues: incorrect article use with 'on the stage' (use 'on stage'), wrong noun phrase 'They Must Sing from Megadeth' (unclear; corrected to 'the singers from Megadeth'), subject-verb agreement 'they comes' should be 'they came' to match past tense, and 'admire of me' should be 'admired me' (no preposition). Use consistent past tense for a recalled dream and correct verb forms and articles. Suggestion: use 'on stage', choose a clear noun phrase for performers, use past tense verbs 'came' and 'admired', and drop unnecessary prepositions.
× So I really enjoy it.
✓ So I really enjoyed it.
The context refers to a past dream, so past tense 'enjoyed' is required rather than present 'enjoy'. Ensure tense consistency when describing past experiences. Suggestion: match verb tense to the rest of the sentence (past simple).
× I used to really not enjoy to share my dreams to others, because if I share the dreams are not will not come true I believe in, but now I I I really share my dreams everyone.
✓ I used to really not enjoy sharing my dreams with others, because I believed the dreams would not come true if I shared them, but now I really share my dreams with everyone.
Several errors: 'enjoy to share' should be 'enjoy sharing' (verb + -ing), incorrect preposition 'to others' should be 'with others', tense and word order issues 'are not will not come true I believe in' corrected to 'I believed the dreams would not come true', and 'share my dreams everyone' needs 'with everyone'. Suggestion: use 'enjoy' + gerund, use 'with' for sharing, keep tense consistent (past for 'used to') and place clauses in natural order.
× I used to really not enjoy to share my dreams to others, because if I share the dreams are not will not come true I believe in, but now I I I really share my dreams everyone.
✓ I used to really not enjoy sharing my dreams with others, because I believed the dreams would not come true if I shared them, but now I really share my dreams with everyone.
The original mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'I used to' indicates past habit, so the rest of that clause should use past forms ('believed', 'would'). Also conditional order should be 'would... if I shared'. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense when describing past habits and hypothetical results.
× Yes, because dreams are always relates with your self consciousness and indicates your self pets in your life and if you believe in your dreams you can find your pets truly.
✓ Yes, because dreams are always related to your self-consciousness and indicate your inner desires in life; if you believe in your dreams you can truly find those desires.
Errors: 'relates with' should be passive 'related to', 'self consciousness' should be 'self-consciousness' or 'self awareness', 'indicates' should agree with plural subject 'dreams' (so 'indicate') or rephrase; 'self pets' is unclear—likely meant 'inner desires' or 'true self'. Also 'find your pets truly' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'truly find those desires'. Suggestion: use 'related to', ensure subject-verb agreement, choose clear vocabulary (inner desires/true self) and place adverb 'truly' before the verb.
× Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because this is indicates how my real self is deep.
✓ Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because this indicates how deep my real self is.
Redundant auxiliary and wrong word order: 'this is indicates' should be 'this indicates' and adjective order 'how my real self is deep' should be 'how deep my real self is'. Maintain present simple for general statements. Suggestion: use 'this indicates' and correct adjective placement ('how deep ... is').
× So I want to play a guitar on the stage and due to this I practice every day.
✓ So I want to play guitar on stage and because of this I practice every day.
Article and preposition errors: 'play a guitar' is acceptable but 'play guitar' is more natural here; 'on the stage' should be 'on stage'; 'due to this' is better as 'because of this' to indicate reason for a personal action. Suggestion: use 'play guitar on stage' and 'because of this' for personal motivations.