Teachers— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: 自然さはあるが、話のまとまりと具体性が不足しています。発話中のフィラー（uh）を減らし、トピック文の後に理由や具体例を1〜2文でつなげると良いです。たとえば、性格の特徴（kind, ambitious）が具体的にどう行動に表れていたか、またはあなたにどんな影響を与えたかを述べてください。接続表現（for example, because, moreover）を使って論理的に繋げてください。

Ví dụ: Yes. My favorite teacher was Mr. Krukawa, my first-year homeroom teacher. He taught me math and table tennis, and he was both kind and ambitious. For example, he stayed after class to explain difficult problems, which helped me improve my grades. Because of his encouragement, I became more confident in challenging subjects.

Gợi ý: 内容は伝わるが冗長で繰り返しが目立ちます。まずトピック文で直接答え（No, I don't）を述べ、その後に理由を簡潔に1〜2文で示しましょう。接続語（but, because, now）を適切に使い、具体例（どんな経験や誰に影響されたか）を加えると説得力が増します。フィラーを減らし、同じ語句の反復を避けてください。

Ví dụ: No, I don't. Although I once considered teaching in high school, I now want to be a doctor because I am studying medicine. For example, working with inspiring classmates and teachers during clinical training convinced me that medicine is the right path.

Gợi ý: 回答が未完成で文法的な誤りや混乱があります。まず明確に誰を覚えているかを述べ、続けてその人の職業やあなたが会った状況を具体的に説明してください。時制や語順を整え、不要なフィラーを削減してください。接続表現（when, who, because）を適切に使いましょう。

Ví dụ: Yes. I remember Mr. Takami, who is a gastric surgeon. I met him about three years ago during a hospital visit, and his dedication to patients left a strong impression on me.

Gợi ý: 文の意味があいまいで一貫性に欠けます。質問には直接「No, I'm not」と答え、その後で再接触したい理由を具体的に述べてください。また、“students”ではなく“teachers”でしょうから語彙ミスを直してください。例を出す場合はその人物について具体情報を付け加え、文を完結させてください。

Ví dụ: No, I'm not. However, I would like to contact some of my primary school teachers because they supported me a lot. For example, Mr. Maruyama encouraged my reading habit by recommending books, and I'd like to thank him personally.

Gợi ý: 良い具体例を挙げているが、話が途中で終わっている印象です。感情面での支援がどのように行われたか、結果としてどう変わったかを完結に述べてください。接続語（for example, so, as a result）を使い、詳細（先生が何をしたか）を明確にしてください。フィラーを減らし、文を5文以内にまとめてください。

Ví dụ: My favourite teacher helped me emotionally. For example, when I didn't want to go to school one day, Mr. Kubota listened to my concerns and encouraged me to try attending for a short time. As a result, I felt supported and returned to school the next day, which improved my confidence.

× Uh, he was my math teacher and also, uh, taught me table tennis.

✓ Uh, he was my math teacher and also taught me table tennis.

Sentence has an unnecessary comma before 'taught' that interrupts the verb phrase; removing it makes the compound predicate clear and maintains past simple tense to match 'was'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary filler commas and ensure the verbs form one coordinated predicate.

× Uh, he was very kind and uh, also ambitious, so.

✓ Uh, he was very kind and also ambitious.

The trailing 'so' is a sentence fragment and adds no meaning; removing it creates a complete past-tense description. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and finish thoughts fully.

× Uh, when I was in high school, I actually thought that I wanted to become a teacher, but now, uh, I strongly want to become a doctor, uh, because I'm a medical student and also usually inspired by my classmates and also teachers.

✓ When I was in high school, I actually thought I wanted to become a teacher, but now I strongly want to become a doctor because I'm a medical student and I am usually inspired by my classmates and teachers.

Issues: unnecessary commas and fillers interrupt flow; 'usually inspired' lacked subject ('I') and parallelism. Correction keeps tense contrast (past vs present) and adds explicit subject for 'inspired'. Suggestion: remove fillers, keep parallel structure and clear subjects.

× I remember uh, Mr. Takami who specialized in a, specializes in uh, gastric surgeon, uh, when I first met him about 3 years ago, he thought.

✓ I remember Mr. Takami, who specializes as a gastric surgeon. When I first met him about three years ago, he thought...

Multiple problems: mixed tenses and incorrect phrase 'specialized in a, specializes in ... gastric surgeon'. Use 'specializes as a gastric surgeon' or 'is a gastric surgeon'. The final 'he thought' is an incomplete clause. Suggestion: separate into two sentences, use present simple for his specialization and rewrite the incomplete thought.

× To be honest, no, I'm not, but I really want to get in touch with some of my students in primary school because I really like some of them.

✓ To be honest, no, I'm not, but I really want to get in touch with some of my primary school teachers because I really liked some of them.

Mistake: 'students in primary school' is wrong contextually—speaker meant 'teachers'. Also tense mismatch: if referring to past classmates/teachers, 'liked' is more natural. Suggestion: choose correct noun (teachers) and match tense to the time referred to.

× One example is Mr. Maruyama, who was.

✓ One example is Mr. Maruyama, who was very kind/helpful.

The relative clause 'who was' is incomplete and creates a sentence fragment. Add an adjective or clause to complete the thought. Suggestion: finish the clause with a descriptive phrase.

× In many ways, for example, umm, Mr. Kubota, who was my homeroom teacher in my first year of primary school, helped me, uh, emotionally.

✓ In many ways. For example, Mr. Kubota, who was my homeroom teacher in my first year of primary school, helped me emotionally.

Filler words and commas interrupt flow; 'helped me emotionally' is correct past tense. Suggestion: remove fillers and unnecessary commas to make sentence smoother.

× Uh, one day I didn't want to go to school for some reason, and uh, I decided to stay home that day.

✓ One day I didn't want to go to school for some reason, so I decided to stay home that day.

Redundant commas and 'and' plus filler create awkwardness; using 'so' better shows cause-effect and keeps past tense consistent. Suggestion: use appropriate connectors ('so') and avoid repeated fillers.