Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and correct minor grammar (use articles, avoid repetition). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler phrases like "you know."

Ví dụ: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My grandmother often took me and my brother to a nearby park where we played games with friends; she also packed snacks for us, which made those visits feel special.

Gợi ý: Correct awkward phrasing and tense consistency. Give a direct topic sentence, then one clear reason and an example. Reduce repetition and filler words, and use linking words like "however" or "but" to connect ideas.

Ví dụ: I still enjoy going to parks, but I rarely have time because my studies are demanding. However, when I do visit, I like walking with friends and relaxing in the fresh air to refresh my mind.

Gợi ý: Use clearer vocabulary ("development" instead of "constructive") and avoid repeating phrases. Provide one or two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., "because", "for example") and finish with a concise conclusion.

Ví dụ: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because rapid urban development has reduced open spaces. For example, children and older people now lack safe areas to play or relax, so additional parks would improve residents' quality of life.

Gợi ý: Fix grammar and article use ("the F-12 Park in Islamabad"). Be specific and avoid repeating "you know." Use linking words to describe features and why you want to go, and keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Ví dụ: I would like to visit the F-12 Park in Islamabad because it is one of the largest parks in the country. It offers many attractions—swings for children, diverse food stalls, and open spaces where people of all ages can relax and have fun.

× I really enjoyed going to park as a child because I remember my grandmother, she used to take me and my brother to the grounds and parks where we could enjoy playing with our friends.

✓ I really enjoyed going to parks as a child because I remember my grandmother; she used to take my brother and me to playgrounds and parks where we could enjoy playing with our friends.

The noun 'park' should be plural 'parks' because the sentence refers to parks in general. Also 'me and my brother' should be 'my brother and me' for conventional order and object pronoun. 'Grounds' is awkward; 'playgrounds' fits better. Use a semicolon or separate clause to avoid a run-on sentence.

× And she also used to pack some, you know, snacks when we felt hungry, she used to feed us.

✓ She also used to pack, you know, snacks for us when we felt hungry; she would feed us.

This sentence is a run-on and uses repetitive 'used to' clauses. Replace the second 'she used to' with 'she would' for variety and smoother past habitual meaning. Also change 'pack some snacks when we felt hungry' to 'pack snacks for us when we felt hungry' for clearer object use.

× So it was really a nice and a good time.

✓ So it was really a nice time.

'Nice and a good' is redundant. Use one adjective ('nice' or 'good') or combine properly ('a really nice time'). Remove unnecessary article 'a' before 'good'.

× I would love going to parks at the movement, but you know, as I have a really tough schedule.

✓ I would love to go to parks at the moment, but I have a really tough schedule.

Use 'to go' after 'would love' (infinitive), not the gerund 'going'. 'Movement' is a wrong word; the correct phrase is 'at the moment'. Also simplify the clause to present simple 'I have' because it describes a current situation.

× I am a student, I don't really have time to go to parks, but whenever I get a chance I would love visiting parks.

✓ I am a student; I don't really have time to go to parks, but whenever I get a chance I would love to visit parks.

After 'would love' use the infinitive 'to visit' rather than the gerund 'visiting'. Also separate clauses with a semicolon or period to avoid comma splice.

× I would, you know, love the nature play with my friends and I would see how the surrounding is around me.

✓ I would, you know, love to enjoy nature and play with my friends, and I would like to see the surroundings around me.

'Love the nature play' is incorrect; use 'love to enjoy nature and play'. 'Surrounding is around me' is redundant; change to 'the surroundings around me' or simply 'my surroundings'. Also use 'would like to' for polite desire.

× I will definitely want to see more parks in my city because, you know, as the city has become more constructive, the play areas for these kids, for the older people to, you know, enjoy their life, to sit nicely to to feel the environment.

✓ I would definitely like to see more parks in my city because, as the city has become more developed, there are fewer play areas for children and older people to enjoy life, sit comfortably, and appreciate the environment.

Use 'would like' instead of 'will definitely want' for a preference. 'Constructive' is incorrect; use 'developed'. The sentence had structural problems and redundancy; rephrase with 'there are fewer play areas' and correct infinitive forms 'to sit comfortably' and 'to appreciate the environment'. Remove duplicate 'to'.

× They don't have really enough parks in our society, in our city.

✓ We don't really have enough parks in our neighborhood and city.

'They' is unnatural when referring to one's own community; use 'we'. 'Society' is too broad; 'neighborhood' or 'community' fits better. Word order 'don't really have enough' is more natural.

× So I would definitely want.

✓ So I would definitely want more parks.

The original is a sentence fragment missing an object. Specify what the speaker wants ('more parks') to complete the sentence.

× I would definitely love to go to the F12 part.

✓ I would definitely love to go to the F-12 Park.

'Part' is a typo; should be 'Park'. Proper noun 'F-12 Park' requires 'Park' and a hyphen for clarity. 'The F12 park' or 'F-12 Park' is correct.

× There is an Islamabad.

✓ It is in Islamabad.

'There is an Islamabad' is incorrect because Islamabad is the city location, not something that 'is' there. Use 'It is in Islamabad' to indicate location of the park.

× It is one of the largest parks in our, you know, country and it had a lot of swings and, you know, often a lot of people visited.

✓ It is one of the largest parks in our country, and it has many swings and often attracts a lot of visitors.

Use present tense 'has' rather than 'had' if the park still exists. Replace 'a lot of swings' with 'many swings' and 'people visited' with 'attracts visitors' for natural phrasing.

× There were a lot of variety in, you know, food and swings at people from all ages could have fun there.

✓ There was a wide variety of food, and people of all ages could have fun on the swings there.

Use 'was a variety' not 'were a lot of variety'. 'Variety of food' is correct collocation. 'At people from all ages' is incorrect; use 'people of all ages'. Also clarify that people could enjoy the swings: 'have fun on the swings'.