Travelling— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise, correct grammar, and use clearer linking. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and unnecessary fillers.

Ví dụ: Yes, I usually choose a window seat because watching the scenery helps me relax. For example, on my trip here I felt bored since I had no one to talk to, so I watched the clouds and took a few photos and short videos to pass the time.

Gợi ý: Reduce hesitations and informal phrasing. Give a clear statement, then one specific reason and an example. Avoid unnecessary comments about ‘random strangers’ and focus on purpose (memories, sharing).

Ví dụ: Yes, I often photograph the scenery from the car because I like to remember the view. For instance, I upload a few pictures to Snapchat stories to share moments with friends and keep track of my travel memories.

Gợi ý: Answer directly, correct grammar and reduce fillers (uh, um). Provide one clear reason and one specific detail or short example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to improve coherence.

Ví dụ: I prefer the mountains because I grew up near them and enjoy hiking. For example, in my free time I often go to nearby hills and we usually stop at a mid-peak to enjoy the view rather than climb to the summit.

× I always like to travel with the window seat because that gives me some relaxation even during the long travel.

✓ I always like to travel in the window seat because it gives me some relaxation even during long journeys.

The phrase 'the window seat' is acceptable if a specific seat is meant but 'travel in the window seat' is more natural. 'That gives' is better as 'it gives' to refer back to the seat. 'the long travel' is unidiomatic; use 'long journeys' (plural) or 'long travel' without the definite article. Also 'travel in the window seat' is the normal collocation. Suggestions: use 'travel in the window seat' and 'long journeys' or 'long trips'.

× For example, while coming here I was so bored and I could not able to speak any like minded person with me so I just stared outside and was watching all the clouds and took some video and photographs.

✓ For example, while coming here I was so bored and could not speak to anyone with similar interests, so I just stared outside, watched the clouds, and took some videos and photographs.

Errors include 'could not able to' which is redundant; use either 'could not' or 'was not able to' (Grammar problem type 10: present participle overlapping—here correction involves verb forms). 'speak any like minded person with me' is incorrect word order and pronoun use; correct is 'speak to anyone with similar interests'. 'stared outside and was watching' mixes simple past and past continuous unnecessarily; use simple past consistently: 'stared' or 'stared... and watched'. Also plural 'videos' is more natural. Suggestions: avoid redundant modals, use correct verb complement 'speak to', keep consistent past tense verbs.

× Yes, I love to take pictures while traveling in the car and I use Snapchat.

✓ Yes, I love to take pictures while traveling by car, and I use Snapchat.

Use 'traveling by car' rather than 'in the car' when speaking generally about the mode of travel. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses. Suggestion: use 'by' for modes of transport in general statements.

× You know this app uh, makes everyone to take photos and share it with random strangers and friends.

✓ You know, this app makes everyone take photos and share them with random strangers and friends.

'Makes everyone to take' is incorrect; causative 'make' is followed by the bare infinitive: 'make everyone take'. 'Share it' is incorrect because 'photos' is plural; use 'share them'. Also add comma after 'You know' for natural speech. Suggestion: use 'make + base verb' and match pronoun number to noun.

× So yeah, even I upload uh photos in my story and send it to my friends as well to improve the streaks.

✓ So yeah, I even upload photos to my story and send them to my friends as well to maintain streaks.

'Upload photos in my story' should be 'upload photos to my story'. 'Send it' should be 'send them' to agree with the plural 'photos'. 'Improve the streaks' is awkward; say 'maintain streaks' or 'keep streaks going'. Suggestion: match prepositions ('to' not 'in') and pronoun number, and use natural collocations for social media.

× I am a mountain person, uh, because I'm coming from an area which is surrounded by mountains.

✓ I am a mountain person because I come from an area that is surrounded by mountains.

'I'm coming from' is incorrect for a permanent origin; use simple present 'I come from' or 'I am from'. 'Which' is acceptable but 'that' is more natural in defining clause. Suggestion: use simple present for origins and avoid continuous tense for permanent facts.

× So my most, uh, my free time consists of uh, mostly will contain traveling towards the mountain and we won't go till the top.

✓ So most of my free time is spent traveling to the mountains, and we usually don't go to the top.

Original mixes quantifiers and verb forms awkwardly: 'my most, my free time consists of mostly will contain' is ungrammatical. Use 'most of my free time is spent' to express habitual time use. 'Traveling towards the mountain' should be 'traveling to the mountains'. 'We won't go till the top' uses future 'won't' awkwardly for habitual action; use 'usually don't'. Suggestion: simplify to 'Most of my free time is spent traveling to the mountains; we usually don't go to the top.'

× But we used to have a enjoyment by reaching the mid peak and maybe.

✓ But we used to enjoy reaching the mid-peak.

'Have a enjoyment' is ungrammatical; use 'enjoy'. 'By reaching the mid peak' can be shortened to 'reaching the mid-peak'. The sentence fragment 'and maybe' is incomplete and should be removed or completed. Suggestion: use the verb 'enjoy' and form a complete sentence; if you want to add uncertainty, say '...reaching the mid-peak, maybe.'