Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and correct grammar; avoid repetition and tense/subject errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small mistakes ("I felt left out", remove duplicate words).

Exemplo: No, I didn't. My family couldn't afford a bike when I was a child, so I often watched other kids ride past my house and felt left out. As a result, I saved pocket money for months hoping to buy one.

Sugestão: Improve coherence and grammar: begin with a clear direct answer, then give two specific reasons using linking words. Remove fillers ("uh") and correct articles/plurals and sentence structure. For example, use: "Yes, bikes are popular in Australia for two main reasons:..." and give concrete examples or comparisons.

Exemplo: Yes, bikes are quite popular in Australia. First, many families own bicycles for leisure and exercise, especially on weekends; second, cycling is common in cities for short trips because it is cheap and eco-friendly, so you often see people riding to parks and shops.

× I always watched other kids riding past my house and I I feel left out.

✓ I always watched other kids riding past my house and I felt left out.

The sentence mixes past ('watched') with present ('feel'). The context is childhood, so use past tense consistently: 'felt'. Also remove the duplicate 'I'. Suggestion: Keep the same past tense for actions and states when describing past events.

× Yes, I think the bikes are popular in our country, uh, because in Australia, uh, even we have a cars at home, uh, mostly we use a car to the work and pick up a kids, but most of the family, we have the bicycle as well.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in our country. In Australia, even if we have a car at home, we mostly use a car to go to work and to pick up kids, but most families have bicycles as well.

Multiple article and noun form errors: 'the bikes' is unnatural when speaking generally—use 'bikes'. 'even we have a cars' has incorrect article and number; use 'even if we have a car'. 'to the work' should be 'to go to work'. 'pick up a kids' has wrong article and number; use 'pick up kids'. 'most of the family, we have the bicycle' is ungrammatical; use 'most families have bicycles'. Suggestion: Use plural nouns without 'the' when speaking generally (bikes, families), match singular/plural, and use 'go to work' for the action.

× ..., uh, even we have a cars at home, uh, mostly we use a car to the work and pick up a kids, but most of the family, we have the bicycle as well.

✓ ..., even if we have a car at home, we mostly use it to go to work and to pick up children, but most families have bicycles as well.

Pronoun reference and form: 'we use a car' then later 'we have the bicycle' is inconsistent. Better to use 'it' to refer back to 'a car'. 'a kids' incorrect; use 'children' or 'kids'. Also plural agreement: 'families' instead of 'family'. Suggestion: Use pronouns to avoid repetition ('it') and match number (children/kids).

× Uh, we love exercise, uh, unless we can always see the people.

✓ We love exercising, and we can often see people cycling.

The original sentence contains 'unless' incorrectly and awkward phrasing 'we can always see the people'. 'Love exercise' is acceptable but 'love exercising' sounds more natural here. The intended meaning seems to be that people often cycle, so 'we can often see people cycling' conveys that clearly. Suggestion: Use coordinating conjunctions ('and') to connect related ideas and choose clearer verbs ('see people cycling').