Bike— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (umm) and repetition. Use linking words (because, so) correctly and correct small grammar issues (e.g., remove extra articles and fix word order). Aim for 2–3 sentences, mention age or grade once and explain purpose briefly.

Exemplo: Yes. I had a beautiful bike when I was a child—my father bought it for me in grade nine because he wanted me to build endurance. I used it daily to commute to school and practice cycling, which helped me get fitter and more confident on the road.

Sugestão: Make your opinion direct and support it with clear, specific reasons. Reduce redundancy and correct vocabulary/phrasing (e.g., “travel to another place” not “plate”; avoid repeating phrases like “I live”). Use linking words (because, so, therefore) to connect ideas and give one concrete example or comparison.

Exemplo: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my city because Bangkok is large and has a convenient rapid transit system. For example, most commuters prefer the BTS Skytrain for speed and reliability, so cycling is mainly a leisure activity rather than a common mode of transport.

× 'the reason that why I had a bike when I was a child because my father, he bought me when I was in grade 9 and to practice my my umm in endurance.'

✓ 'The reason I had a bike when I was a child is that my father bought me one when I was in grade 9, to practice my endurance.'

'Errors: redundant structure and subject-verb agreement/word choice. The original mixes "the reason that why" (redundant) and uses an unnecessary subject "he" after "my father," which disrupts flow. Also "bought me" needs an object (one) and "to practice my my umm in endurance" is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use "The reason I had a bike ... is that ..." to link cause and effect, remove redundant pronoun "he," supply the object "one," and correct the verb phrase to "to practice my endurance."'

× 'Based on my observation, I would say not really well primarily due to the fact that in Thailand where I live now, I live in a city and and it's a big city.'

✓ 'Based on my observation, I would say not really, primarily because I live in a large city in Thailand.'

'Errors: awkward present tense phrasing and redundancy ("I live in a city and and it's a big city"). The phrase "not really well" is unidiomatic here. Suggestion: keep present-tense facts simple and concise: "I live in a large city in Thailand" and use "primarily because" instead of "due to the fact that" for clarity.'

× 'So I would say that people used to travel to another plate by BTS sky train.'

✓ 'So I would say that people usually travel to other places by the BTS skytrain.'

'Errors: incorrect word choice and sentence structure. "Used to travel" suggests a past habit, but the context is general present habit, so use "usually travel." "Another plate" is incorrect word choice for place; correct to "other places." Also capitalize and combine "BTS skytrain" consistently as "BTS skytrain." Suggestion: use "usually travel to other places by the BTS skytrain."'