Music— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy (e.g. "excited feeling" and "uplifting feeling" are similar) and correct tense/agreement ("gave me" → "gives me" or "gives me an excited feeling"). Use a linking word if adding contrast.

Exemplo: I prefer happy music because it makes me feel energetic and uplifted. For example, upbeat pop songs help me concentrate while I work, whereas sad songs tend to make me reflective rather than motivated.

Sugestão: Clarify and correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Give a brief, specific example and avoid irrelevant or unclear phrases ("joyful opportunity", "Touch My Body Earth", "never got beat up"). Use linking words if needed and keep to 1–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes. Upbeat songs such as Mariah Carey’s "Dreamlover" make me feel more energetic and upbeat because of their fast tempo and bright melodies. For instance, I often play them when I need a mood boost.

Sugestão: Correct grammar and be concise. Use a clear topic sentence, then one specific reason or detail. Avoid overgeneralizations about groups ("many Asian kids") and correct subject-verb agreement ("hobbies lie" → "hobby lies" or better "my interests lie").

Exemplo: No, I have never taken formal music lessons. When I was a child my parents encouraged my interest in English instead of enrolling me in instrument lessons, so I never learned to play one.

Sugestão: Make sentences more natural and precise. Use a concise topic sentence, then provide one specific example with a linking word. Avoid informal intensifiers like "super hard"—use "intensely" or "focused". Be specific about the effect.

Exemplo: Yes, I often listen to music while driving or studying. For example, calm instrumental tracks help me stay focused when I'm studying, and upbeat music makes long drives feel less stressful.

× I usually prefer happy music over sad music because happy music always gave me an excited feeling as well as a joyful and uplifting feeling compared with sad music, although sad music doesn't necessarily make me feel sad.

✓ I usually prefer happy music over sad music because happy music always gives me an excited feeling as well as a joyful and uplifting feeling compared with sad music, although sad music doesn't necessarily make me feel sad.

The verb 'gave' is in the past tense but the rest of the sentence uses present-tense habits (I usually prefer). This mismatches tenses. Use the simple present 'gives' to describe a habitual or general truth. Suggestion: keep verbs that describe routine or general states in the simple present.

× Yes, happy music like songs with a happy or joyful opportunity like Mariah Carey's Dream Lover or Touch My Body Earth make me feel more excited.

✓ Yes, happy music, such as joyful songs like Mariah Carey's 'Dream Lover' or 'Touch My Body', makes me feel more excited.

The original has awkward phrase 'opportunity' and incorrect noun grouping. Also subject-verb agreement requires singular 'music' or plural 'songs' alignment. Rephrase to 'such as joyful songs' and use commas; ensure the verb 'makes' agrees with the singular collective noun 'music'. Suggestion: replace unclear words ('opportunity') with appropriate nouns and match verb to subject.

× I never got beat up listening to this sort of music.

✓ I have never gotten beat up while listening to this sort of music.

The student uses simple past 'got' but the rest of the context (life experience) fits present perfect 'have never gotten'. Also 'listening to' needs a time expression: 'while listening to'. Suggestion: use present perfect for life experiences and use 'while' to link actions.

× I have never taken any professional classes dedicated to music throughout my life, which is a bit of shame.

✓ I have never taken any professional classes dedicated to music throughout my life, which is a bit of a shame.

The phrase 'a bit of shame' is missing the article 'a' before 'shame'. English requires 'a bit of a shame' in this informal context. Suggestion: include the article 'a' for idiomatic expression.

× Unlike many Asian kids, I was not pushed into learning musical instruments when I was younger because my parents think that my hobbies lies in English.

✓ Unlike many Asian kids, I was not pushed into learning musical instruments when I was younger because my parents think that my hobby lies in English.

Two issues: 'hobbies lies' mixes plural noun with singular verb. Use singular 'hobby' with singular verb 'lies'. Also 'learning musical instruments' is acceptable but 'learning to play musical instruments' is clearer. Suggestion: match noun and verb number and consider rephrasing for clarity.

× Yes, definitely. I like to listen to music while I'm doing the driving or studying super hard.

✓ Yes, definitely. I like to listen to music while I'm driving or studying really hard.

The phrase 'doing the driving' is unnatural; use 'driving'. Also 'studying super hard' is informal and 'really hard' is more natural. Use present continuous 'I'm driving' for actions happening while listening. Suggestion: use natural verb phrases and appropriate adverb choice.

× Music can relieve me of the negative feelings associated with driving and studying.

✓ Music can relieve me of the negative feelings associated with driving and studying.

This sentence is grammatically correct but borderline: 'relieve me of' is acceptable. No correction necessary; explanation: the preposition use is correct. Included here to acknowledge correctness.