Music— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản và từ vựng, tránh dùng từ sai (ví dụ 'afflict' không phù hợp) và sửa cấu trúc câu để tự nhiên hơn. Hãy trả lời trực tiếp bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm 1-2 câu chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ khi nào và trên nền tảng nào bạn nghe). Tránh lặp từ và giữ tối đa 5 câu.

Exemplo: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and gives me energy. For example, I listen to upbeat pop playlists when I do homework or household chores. I usually find these songs on YouTube or TikTok, which makes it easy to discover new tracks.

Sugestão: Sử dụng cách diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn và tránh lỗi phản thân như 'make myself'. Giải thích lý do cụ thể (ví dụ nhịp điệu, giai điệu hoặc lời bài hát) để làm rõ quan điểm. Dùng liên từ phù hợp để nối ý, giữ 2-3 câu hỗ trợ.

Exemplo: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because of its fast tempo and catchy melodies. When I hear an upbeat song, it cheers me up and helps me focus on tasks. The cheerful lyrics also remind me of good memories, which boosts my mood.

Sugestão: Cải thiện trật tự từ và chia thì; tránh từ sai lỗi chính tả ('entrancemen'). Nên nói rõ thời điểm, trải nghiệm và kết quả ngắn gọn. Giữ câu chủ đề + 1-2 câu chi tiết (ví dụ bạn đã học gì tiếp theo và vì sao từ bỏ lớp hát).

Exemplo: Yes, I attended a singing class when I was in primary school, but I found it boring and stopped after a few months. Later, I decided to learn instruments such as piano and guitar because I enjoyed playing melodies more than singing. Those lessons helped me understand basic music theory.

Sugestão: Tránh cụm từ thừa và câu chưa hoàn chỉnh; trình bày rõ các hoạt động cụ thể (ví dụ làm bài tập, nấu ăn, tập thể dục) và giải thích vì sao nhạc hữu ích. Dùng liên từ để làm mạch lạc, viết 2-3 câu hoàn chỉnh.

Exemplo: Yes, I often listen to music while doing tasks such as homework, cooking, or exercising. Listening to upbeat songs helps me stay motivated during long study sessions, while calmer music relaxes me when I'm cooking. I usually create playlists for different activities so I can focus better.

× To be honest, I have a soft spot for happy music seeing that not only does it afflict my mood but it also asks for me motivation to keep going.

✓ To be honest, I have a soft spot for happy music, seeing that not only does it affect my mood but it also gives me motivation to keep going.

'Afflict' is wrong here; use 'affect' to mean influence. 'Asks for me motivation' is ungrammatical; use 'gives me motivation' or 'provides me with motivation'. Also add a comma before 'seeing that' for clarity.

× For example, went to homework or housework.

✓ For example, when I do homework or housework.

The sentence lacks a subject and auxiliary. Add 'when I do' to make a full clause: 'when I do homework or housework.' This fixes sentence fragment error.

× I often tend to like listen to happy music on the Internet or something like YouTube or Tiktok.

✓ I often tend to listen to happy music on the Internet, on platforms like YouTube or TikTok.

After 'tend to' use the base verb 'listen' (not 'to listen to' together with 'like'). Original had extra 'like'. Use 'platforms like' to introduce examples and correct capitalization for TikTok.

× Of course, it's evident to see that happy music is able to make myself feel more excited.

✓ Of course, it's evident that happy music is able to make me feel more excited.

'Myself' is a reflexive pronoun and incorrectly used here; use the object pronoun 'me'. 'It's evident to see' is wordy; 'it's evident' is sufficient.

× Saying that, when listening to it, not only does it affiliate my mood and relax my mind, but it's also also motivation to keep going.

✓ That said, when I listen to it, not only does it improve my mood and relax my mind, but it also gives me motivation to keep going.

'Saying that' is informal; 'That said' or 'Furthermore' is better. 'Affiliate my mood' is incorrect; use 'improve my mood' or 'lift my mood'. 'It's also also motivation' needs correcting to 'it also gives me motivation' and remove duplicate 'also'.

× There's also a simple reason why I feel more excited about this genre.

✓ There is also a simple reason why I feel more excited about this genre.

Contracted 'There's' is acceptable in speech but for clarity use 'There is'. No grammatical error beyond register; left as minor stylistic suggestion.

× As far as I remember when I was in my primary school I took part in a music class which can help me sing well but I give up and I thought it's so boring for me and I decided to learn other musical entrancemen like piano or guitar and also.

✓ As far as I remember, when I was in primary school I took part in a music class that helped me sing well, but I gave it up because I thought it was boring, and I decided to learn other musical instruments like the piano or the guitar.

Use 'primary school' without 'my'. 'Which can help me sing well' should be past: 'that helped me sing well'. 'I give up' should be past 'I gave it up'. 'It's so boring for me' -> 'I thought it was boring'. 'Entrancemen' is incorrect; use 'instruments'. Add articles 'the piano' and 'the guitar'. Remove trailing 'and also'.

× As far as I'm concerned, I often listen to music while doing a lot of things.

✓ As far as I'm concerned, I often listen to music while doing many things.

'A lot of things' is informal; 'many things' is more natural. Grammatically acceptable but this improves register.

× Saying that, when listening to music like happy music or some sad songs, I always do homework so as to have more motivations and energy to keep going.

✓ That said, when listening to music such as happy songs or some sad songs, I always do my homework to have more motivation and energy to keep going.

'Saying that' again awkward; 'That said' preferred. 'Do homework' -> 'do my homework'. 'Motivations' should be uncountable 'motivation'. Streamline phrasing.

× In addition, I often choose to listen to music when doing.

✓ In addition, I often choose to listen to music when doing chores or studying.

Sentence ends abruptly with 'when doing' — a fragment. Specify activities like 'chores or studying' to complete the clause and make it grammatical.