Music— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Focus on clarity, correct word choice, and concise structure. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + preference), avoid incorrect words like “obituaries,” reduce hesitations and repetitions, and provide one or two specific reasons with an example. Keep answers under five sentences.

Exemplo: I prefer happy music. It lifts my mood and keeps me motivated, so I usually play upbeat songs while I work or study. For example, cheerful pop helps me concentrate and keeps my energy up during long tasks.

Sugestão: Avoid repetition and incorrect vocabulary (e.g., “obit rhythms,” “major stories”). Use precise musical terms like “upbeat tempo,” “major key,” and keep sentences concise. Provide one clear example and link cause and effect with linking words like “because” or “so.”

Exemplo: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because upbeat tempos and major keys boost my energy. For example, listening to cheerful pop in the morning helps me wake up faster and start my day feeling motivated.

Sugestão: Keep the answer direct and reduce filler words. Use correct collocations (e.g., “self-taught” or “learned on my own,” “online tutorials” and “formal classes”). Give a brief specific detail about what you learned and where.

Exemplo: No, I haven't taken formal music classes. I taught myself basics by watching online tutorials on YouTube and Instagram, learning simple chords and rhythm patterns.

Sugestão: Use clearer expressions and correct collocations (e.g., “gives me energy,” “helps me concentrate”). Avoid contradicting words like “deviated.” Limit to two supporting details and one linking phrase. Provide a specific example of tasks and how music helps.

Exemplo: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities because it gives me energy and helps me concentrate. For instance, I play upbeat music while cleaning or cooking, and gentle instrumental tracks when I need to focus on writing.

× I generally prefer happy music because it's obituaries and positive videos.

✓ I generally prefer happy music because it's upbeat and positive.

The student used incorrect words 'obituaries and positive videos' which do not make sense here. This is an incorrect use of adjectives/nouns. Replace with appropriate adjective 'upbeat' to describe music and keep 'positive'. Suggestion: use vocabulary that accurately describes mood (e.g., upbeat, cheerful, uplifting).

× They have to lift my mood and lift my and make me stay motivated and while for example, while I'm working or starting, I listen to uh, happy music rather than the melancholic song.

✓ They lift my mood and keep me motivated; for example, while I'm working or studying, I listen to happy music rather than melancholic songs.

Original sentence is fragmented and repetitive ('lift my and make me stay motivated and while'). This is a sentence structure error. Fix by removing redundancy, using parallel verbs ('lift' and 'keep'), and correcting noun forms ('songs'). Also replace unclear word 'starting' with context-appropriate 'studying'. Use semicolon or separate clauses for clarity.

× As happy music definitely makes me makes me feel more excited because obit rhythms and major stories tend to lift my mood and increase my energy.

✓ Happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and major chords tend to lift my mood and increase my energy.

The phrase 'makes me makes me' repeats the verb — a verb duplication error and relates to third person singular conjugation. Also 'obit rhythms' and 'major stories' are incorrect collocations. Correct by using single 'makes me feel' and appropriate musical terms 'upbeat rhythms' and 'major chords'.

× For example, when I listen to cheerful pop song in the morning time, I find myself moving faster and feeling more motivated and I and it makes me to start my day.

✓ For example, when I listen to a cheerful pop song in the morning, I find myself moving faster and feeling more motivated, and it helps me start my day.

Missing indefinite article before 'cheerful pop song' (should be 'a cheerful pop song') and awkward phrasing 'makes me to start' — 'helps me start' is correct. Also remove redundant 'and I and' and unnecessary 'time' after 'morning'.

× No, I have not taken any form of musical classes, but I learned a little bit through my own by watching online tutorials, uh in social media platforms.

✓ No, I have not taken any formal music classes, but I learned a little on my own by watching online tutorials on social media platforms.

Several issues: 'form of musical classes' is incorrect — should be 'formal music classes' (article/word choice). 'through my own' should be 'on my own' (preposition/pronoun usage). 'in social media platforms' should be 'on social media platforms' (preposition). Present perfect 'have not taken' is fine; 'learned' could be 'have learned' but past simple is acceptable if referring to past actions. Suggest using 'on my own' and correct prepositions.

× But I have never attended uh official classes lesson.

✓ But I have never attended any official lessons or classes.

Incorrect article and noun combination: 'attended uh official classes lesson' is ungrammatical. Use 'any official lessons or classes' or 'an official class' depending on meaning. Suggest plural 'lessons or classes' with 'any'.

× As I listen to music while doing other things as it gives me energetic vibe and helps me to stay more deviated.

✓ I listen to music while doing other things because it gives me an energetic vibe and helps me stay more focused.

The sentence has redundant 'as' and wrong word 'deviated' (wrong meaning). This is sentence structure and word choice error. Replace 'as' with 'because', use article 'an energetic vibe', and correct 'deviated' to 'focused'.

× I usually play music while doing my household chores such as cleaning, cooking and sometimes I play music while writing to make me more concentration on my work.

✓ I usually play music while doing my household chores such as cleaning and cooking, and sometimes I play music while writing to help me concentrate more on my work.

Problems: missing comma before 'and sometimes', repetitive 'play music' acceptable but sentence was awkward. 'to make me more concentration' is incorrect; should be 'to help me concentrate more' (verb and noun form). Use 'concentrate' (verb) rather than 'concentration' (noun) and improve word order.