Music— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “it's ending the fact”) and redundant repetition. Use linking words like “however” or “but” to contrast preferences.

Exemplo: I prefer sad music. Most of my favorite artists write melancholic songs, and I find their lyrics more moving. However, I do enjoy cheerful songs occasionally, especially when I need a mood boost.

Sugestão: Open with a clear direct answer, then give a specific example and use cohesive devices such as “for example” or “therefore.” Watch grammar: subject-verb agreement and conditional forms (e.g., “if you are”). Keep it within three sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited. For example, when I'm feeling low I often play upbeat pop to lift my mood, and it quickly makes me feel more energetic.

Sugestão: Good structure and clarity. To improve, add a brief reason or result to enrich the response and use a linking word like “however” or “although.” Keep it concise and avoid starting with filler words like “unfortunately” unless you explain why.

Exemplo: No, I haven't taken any formal music classes. Although I taught myself to play instruments like the ukulele as a teenager, I never enrolled in an official course.

Sugestão: Be more concise and avoid repetition (e.g., “listen to music almost 24/7” and repeating “listen to”). Start with a direct answer, then give two short specific examples and a linking phrase to explain variation in choice of music.

Exemplo: Yes, I listen to music almost all the time. For example, I play calming instrumental tracks when studying and upbeat pop when driving; therefore I choose different music depending on the activity.

× I think it's ending the fact that most of my favorite artists play sad songs.

✓ I think it's due to the fact that most of my favorite artists play sad songs.

The phrase 'ending the fact' is incorrect. The student intended to express a reason, so 'due to the fact that' or simply 'because' should be used. This is a sentence structure/word choice error; replace the incorrect participle phrase with the correct prepositional phrase to convey cause.

× I would genuinely lean towards sadder music, but I do love myself a happy song, especially when I'm in the mood for one.

✓ I would genuinely lean towards sadder music, but I do love a happy song, especially when I'm in the mood for one.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' is incorrectly used here. 'Love myself a happy song' is informal and ungrammatical in standard English. Use the direct object 'a happy song' after 'love'. This corrects pronoun misuse and yields a natural phrase.

× But All in all, I prefer sad music.

✓ But all in all, I prefer sad music.

Capitalization of 'All' is unnecessary mid-sentence. This is an article/capitalization/style issue. Lowercasing 'all' conforms to standard sentence case. The grammar itself is fine.

× I do believe music does affect the way a person feel, like if you were happy and listen to a sad song you will most likely feel sad and vice versa.

✓ I do believe music does affect the way a person feels; for example, if you are happy and listen to a sad song, you will most likely feel sad, and vice versa.

There are subject-verb agreement and tense consistency issues. 'A person feel' should be 'a person feels' (third person singular). Maintain consistent tense: use 'are' with 'you are happy' and 'listen' can stay present. Also add punctuation and a linking phrase ('for example') for clarity.

× So yes I do believe a happy song would make me feel excited, especially when I'm down, it would lift up my mood.

✓ So yes, I do believe a happy song would make me feel excited; especially when I'm down, it would lift my mood.

Minor punctuation and word choice issues. Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses. 'Lift up my mood' is acceptable but 'lift my mood' is more natural. Tense/modal 'would make' is consistent for hypothetical feelings.

× Unfortunately, no. I have never taken a music class, even though I did try to learn to play different instruments over the years.

✓ Unfortunately, no. I have never taken a music class, even though I have tried to learn to play different instruments over the years.

Tense inconsistency: 'did try' suggests a simple past isolated event; with 'over the years' the present perfect 'have tried' is more appropriate to indicate repeated attempts up to now. Use present perfect for experiences continuing to the present.

× For instance, in my teen years I tried to learn the ukulele, but I've never taken an official class.

✓ For instance, in my teenage years I tried to learn the ukulele, but I've never taken an official class.

The expression 'my teen years' is informal; 'my teenage years' is more natural. The tense usage 'tried' is acceptable for a specific past attempt; the sentence is fine otherwise.

× I do listen to music almost 24/7, so yes, even when I'm sleeping, driving, reading, studying, it's a crucial part of who I am.

✓ I listen to music almost 24/7, so yes, even when I'm sleeping, driving, reading, or studying, it's a crucial part of who I am.

The auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary in a simple present declarative sentence. Also add 'or' in the list before the final item for correct coordination. This improves naturalness and grammaticality.

× So I do listen to music almost all the time, but the type of music that I listen listen to differs based on the situation or the occasion or the thing that I'm doing.

✓ So I listen to music almost all the time, but the type of music I listen to differs based on the situation, the occasion, or what I'm doing.

The sentence contains a duplicated verb 'listen listen' and awkward repetition ('the situation or the occasion or the thing that I'm doing'). Remove the duplicate, drop the extra 'that' for conciseness ('the type of music I listen to'), and use parallel coordination with commas and 'or'. This fixes sentence structure and redundancy.