Tidiness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like to keep things tidy, then give one specific reason and finish with a routine example. Avoid redundancy and long clauses. Use linking words (however, so, but) correctly and limit to 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I do like to keep things tidy. However, during weekdays I’m often too busy with work and exhausted in the evenings, so I usually relax by scrolling social media and don’t tidy until the weekend. On Saturdays I spend an hour cleaning my room so it’s neat for the new week.

Sugestão: Provide a direct answer then support with one clear specific detail and a concise reflection. Correct tense and sentence boundaries; avoid run-on sentences. Use linking words to show contrast (but, however) and finish the thought clearly.

Exemplo: No, I didn’t. Growing up with my brothers we were quite messy and our mother often scolded us for it. But as I grew older I realized tidiness helps me think more clearly, so I started trying to keep my space neater.

Sugestão: Answer directly and give specific actions and frequency. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., 'clutter' instead of 'rowdy') and avoid repeating ideas. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words (so, therefore) to explain effects.

Exemplo: I’m not naturally tidy, but at work I regularly clear my desk of clutter and put away items I won’t need. This helps me stay focused and creates a calmer workspace, so I try to tidy for five minutes at the end of each day.

Sugestão: Give a direct opinion and support it with one or two clear reasons and a concise conclusion. Avoid repeating the same phrase. Use specific examples of benefits and finish the sentence logically.

Exemplo: Yes, I think it’s important to be tidy both physically and mentally. Keeping your surroundings organized reduces distractions and helps you think more clearly, which improves productivity and reduces stress.

× After work I become exhausted so I just lay in bed and scroll through social media because I want to relax.

✓ After work I become exhausted so I just lie in bed and scroll through social media because I want to relax.

The verb 'lay' is transitive and requires an object (e.g., 'lay the book down'), while 'lie' is the intransitive verb meaning 'recline'. The correct present form for reclining is 'lie'. Suggestion: use 'lie' for 'recline' and learn lay/lie distinction (lay takes an object, lie does not).

× No, I didn't growing up with male siblings, we weren't tidy at all our mom used to scold us because we tend to be rowdy with things.

✓ No, I didn't. Growing up with male siblings, we weren't tidy at all; our mom used to scold us because we tended to be rowdy with things.

Multiple issues: 'didn't' requires a verb to follow (e.g., 'didn't, I...') so the sentence needs splitting (sentence structure). 'Tend' should be past tense 'tended' to match the past time frame 'growing up' and 'used to'. Also punctuation improves clarity. Suggestion: split into two sentences and use past tense verbs for habitual past actions.

× However, when I grew up, I realized that my mom was right being able to tidy up things makes a clear and calmer mind and.

✓ However, when I grew up, I realized that my mom was right: being able to tidy up things creates a clearer, calmer mind.

The clause 'being able to tidy up things makes a clear and calmer mind and.' is ungrammatical and ends with an extra 'and'. Use 'creates' (present tense general truth) and adjective order 'clearer, calmer mind'. Also remove trailing 'and' and rephrase for clarity. Suggestion: use colon or comma before the explanation and use comparative 'clearer' for improvement.

× Honestly, I am not a tidy person. However, when things get rowdy I tend to put away things that I don't need yet, especially at work, because being able to keep up or keep a tidy desk during work makes a straightforward mind, a calmer mind and a free space.

✓ Honestly, I am not a tidy person. However, when things get messy I tend to put away things that I don't need yet, especially at work, because keeping a tidy desk during work produces a clearer mind, a calmer mind, and free space.

'Get rowdy' is more natural for people; for objects 'messy' is better. 'Being able to keep up or keep a tidy desk' is awkward; use the gerund 'keeping' to express the activity. 'Makes a straightforward mind' is unnatural; use 'produces a clearer mind' or 'creates mental clarity'. Suggestion: prefer 'keeping' + noun, choose correct adjectives for clarity.

× I think it's everyone's obligation to be tidy not only with things but also with how you think about things.

✓ I think it's everyone's obligation to be tidy not only with their belongings but also with how they think about things.

Mixing 'everyone's' (indefinite singular) with 'you' (second person) causes pronoun inconsistency. Use consistent indefinite pronouns ('their') or rephrase to plural. Suggestion: maintain consistent pronouns (everyone ... their) or use 'people' + 'you' uniformly.

× You need to be able to organize not only things but also your thoughts.

✓ You need to be able to organize not only your things but also your thoughts.

Parallel structure error: 'not only ... but also' elements should be parallel. 'Things' and 'your thoughts' are not parallel; make both possessive or both without. Suggestion: use parallel elements: 'your things' and 'your thoughts'.

× So being able to be tidy not only with things but also in your mental state gives you.

✓ So being tidy not only with your things but also in your mental state benefits you.

The original ends abruptly with 'gives you' and lacks an object; it's incomplete. Also 'being able to be tidy' is wordy; use 'being tidy'. Suggestion: complete the clause with a clear verb and object such as 'benefits you' or 'gives you clarity' and maintain parallel structure.