Tidiness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid contradictions and unclear phrases like "it's very inconvenient" without context. Use linking words for coherence.

Exemplo: Yes, I do. Keeping things tidy gives me peace of mind and a sense of self-respect. For example, when my desk is clean I can find things quickly, which helps me work more efficiently.

Sugestão: Provide a clear topic sentence and specific supporting detail. Fix grammar and avoid repetition. Use a linking word to connect reason and effect (e.g., "because", "so"). Replace vague phrases like "without clutters" with "without clutter".

Exemplo: Yes, I usually kept my room tidy as a child. Compared with other kids, I put my toys away regularly because I prefer an orderly environment, so having less clutter helped me feel calm and focused.

Sugestão: Organize the answer: give a brief overview, then list one or two clear rules with linking words. Correct grammar and clarify "trash everything" (perhaps "throw away trash"). Give a short example of applying the rule.

Exemplo: I follow a few simple rules to keep my study area tidy. Firstly, I always return items to their designated places after use, and secondly I throw away any rubbish immediately, so my desk stays clutter-free; for example, I put pens back in a holder as soon as I finish using them.

Sugestão: Start with a clear opinion, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar issues (remove "your for" and awkward phrasing). Avoid filler phrases like "or something."

Exemplo: Yes, I believe being tidy is necessary because it improves concentration and reduces stress. For instance, when my workspace is organized I can focus better on my homework and complete tasks faster.

× Yes I do, so being tidy would bring me peace and cleanliness and a sense of self esteem. And also it's very inconvenient.

✓ Yes, I do. Being tidy brings me peace, cleanliness, and a sense of self-esteem. It is also very convenient.

The original mixes pronoun/reference and meaning: 'would bring' implies conditional; present simple 'brings' fits general fact. 'It's very inconvenient' contradicts context; likely meant 'convenient'. Punctuation and articles improved. Suggestion: use present simple for general truths, check word choice (convenient vs inconvenient), and use commas to separate list items.

× This is because I appreciate a tidy atmosphere without. Without clutters it makes me calm.

✓ This is because I appreciate a tidy atmosphere. Without clutter, I feel calm.

'Without' was mispositioned and 'clutters' is incorrect count noun usage; 'clutter' is an uncountable noun. Also sentence structure was fragmented. Suggestion: place 'without clutter' at start of sentence and use 'feel calm' to express state.

× Yeah, yes, compared to other kids, I guess my room was tidier than others.

✓ Yeah, compared to other kids, I guess my room was tidier than most.

'Others' is vague and less common; 'most' is appropriate when comparing to the majority. Also removed redundant 'yes'. Suggestion: use 'most' or 'theirs' when comparing rooms of other children.

× I keep my space tidy by following some rules. First one is if you use something, get it back to the place where you got it.

✓ I keep my space tidy by following some rules. The first rule is: if you use something, put it back where you got it.

'First one is' is informal; 'first rule is' is clearer. 'Get it back to the place where you got it' is awkward; use 'put it back where you got it.' Suggestion: prefer 'put it back' for returning items and use clear noun 'rule.'

× By this, after using something there won't be any clutter and also trash everything.

✓ By doing this, after using something there won't be any clutter, and you should throw away any trash.

'By this' is unclear; 'by doing this' clarifies the method. 'Trash everything' sounds like an imperative to destroy items; 'throw away any trash' is clearer. Suggestion: use clear verbs for disposal and include subject when giving instructions.

× Yes I do think being tidy is necessary because it makes your for focus more sharp and also makes you feel calm so when you have to work on something, even if it's job or homework or something, it's better.

✓ Yes, I do think being tidy is necessary because it makes your focus sharper and helps you feel calm, so when you have to work on something, whether it is a job, homework, or another task, it is better.

Multiple issues: 'your for focus more sharp' is ungrammatical — correct is 'your focus sharper.' 'Makes you feel calm so when...' needs punctuation and connectors. 'Even if it's job' lacks articles; use 'a job.' Suggestion: restructure sentence into clearer clauses, use comparative 'sharper,' include articles, and add commas to separate ideas.