Tidiness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (tense and articles), reduce repetition, and add one specific detail about when or how you try to tidy. Use linking words to show contrast (e.g. ‘but’, ‘however’). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, I like to keep my things tidy, but I often fail to do so after school. I feel very tired when I get home, so I usually leave my books and clothes on the floor. However, I try to spend ten minutes each evening putting things away so my room is neater the next day.

Sugestão: Start with a direct topic sentence in the past tense and avoid long unclear phrases. Explain one specific habit and link cause and effect with words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ to be coherent.

Exemplo: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child because my parents encouraged me. I always put my toys in boxes and arranged my books on a shelf, so I could find things quickly.

Sugestão: Be specific and concise: say exactly what you use to organize and the routine you follow. Remove filler words and correct unclear phrases. Use linking words like ‘then’ or ‘after that’ to show sequence.

Exemplo: I keep my study area tidy by using a small box for spare items and a tray for current materials. Every two weeks I sort the box, throw away trash, and donate things I no longer need.

Sugestão: Use clear, appropriate vocabulary (not ‘Titanic’). State your opinion and give one or two specific reasons with linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for example’. Avoid vague endings.

Exemplo: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because a clean room helps me feel calm and focus better. For example, when my desk is organized I can study faster and avoid losing important notes.

× I really failed to manage to do it when I back home after school because it really it was really tired and exhausted, so my room always ends up looking really messy.

✓ I really failed to manage to do it when I came back home after school because I was really tired and exhausted, so my room always ended up looking really messy.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'back home' needs past action form 'came back'. 'it was really tired' is incorrect because 'I' is the subject—use 'I was really tired'. Maintain past tense throughout since the action refers to past occurrences: use 'always ended up' instead of 'always ends up.' Fix repetition 'really it was really' by removing redundancy.

× Yes, my parents always encouraged me to do that and so my room is really organized and I usually pack my toys and books into the books my mom and guaranteed so I I can always pick out my things quickly when I was a child.

✓ Yes, my parents always encouraged me to do that, so my room was really organized and I usually packed my toys and books neatly so I could always pick out my things quickly when I was a child.

The respondent describes childhood habits, so past tense should be used consistently: 'is really organized' should be 'was really organized', 'usually pack' -> 'usually packed'. 'Can' should be 'could' to match past time. Remove unclear fragment 'into the books my mom and guaranteed' and replace with 'neatly' or similar to convey intended meaning.

× There is a little box in the corner of the room so I always and throw away all the things.

✓ There was a little box in the corner of the room, so I always threw away things I no longer needed.

The structure 'I always and throw away all the things' is ungrammatical. Use past tense 'was' and 'threw away' to match narrative. Clarify meaning by adding 'things I no longer needed.' Remove extra conjunction 'and.'

× I no longer use Internet box and I regularly umm pick out that box and find something that I don't really need to use.

✓ I no longer used some things in the box, and I regularly checked it to find things I didn't really need anymore.

Pronoun and noun references are unclear and tenses inconsistent. 'Internet box' is likely wrong; replace with 'some things in the box.' Use past tense 'used' and 'didn't' to match narrative. 'Pick out that box' is incorrect; use 'checked it' or 'went through it.' Add 'anymore' to indicate past habit.

× So I just want to donate them directly or just throw it away.

✓ So I would just donate them or throw them away.

In context of describing habitual past actions, use 'would' or past tense. Maintain noun-pronoun agreement: 'them' (plural) with 'throw them away,' not 'throw it away.' Remove duplicate 'just' for conciseness.

× I think the Titanic gives people a sense of comfort and peace.

✓ I think tidiness gives people a sense of comfort and peace.

'Titanic' is a wrong word here; the intended word is 'tidiness.' This is a vocabulary error rather than grammar, but it affects meaning. Replace with correct noun 'tidiness.'

× So people will stay more focused and organized when the room, especially desk or near study clean.

✓ So people will stay more focused and organized when the room, especially the desk or study area, is clean.

Word order and missing articles are incorrect. Insert 'the' before 'desk' and 'study area,' add 'is' before 'clean' to form a proper clause. Rephrase 'near study' to 'study area' for clarity.