Tidiness— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and fix word order (e.g., "to the otherwise" → delete).

Exemplo: Yes, I do. As the eldest daughter I usually tidy the room and nearby areas because my younger siblings often leave things around, and I prefer to keep items in specific places so I don’t waste time searching for them.

Sugestão: Avoid casual fillers like "you know" and repetitive linking words. Give a clear contrast (past vs present) with one concise reason for the change and a specific example of how you behave now.

Exemplo: Funnily enough, I was quite messy as a child and my mother often complained. However, as I grew older I became more organized; for example, I now put my clothes in drawers and make my bed every morning.

Sugestão: Good structure and clear details. To improve, use varied linking words and shorten slightly to stay within five sentences; add one concrete habit or frequency to be more specific.

Exemplo: I clean my desk and the surrounding area before I start studying, and I also tidy up every evening. For instance, I put books back on the shelf and empty my rubbish bin so I wake up to an organized space that helps me feel relaxed and productive.

Sugestão: Clarify vocabulary (avoid "production" for productivity) and tighten sentences. State your opinion clearly, give a brief reason, and provide a short example or consequence. Use a linking phrase like "for example" or "therefore."

Exemplo: Yes, I think it's important to be reasonably tidy. Being organized—even moderately—improves productivity; for example, if my desk is clear I can focus immediately on work instead of spending time searching for things.

× Yes I do, as the eldest daughter I think I have to keep the room and the surrounding areas to the otherwise it would be a mess because of my siblings and I like to keep things in specific places so that I don't waste time looking for them.

✓ Yes I do. As the eldest daughter, I think I have to keep the room and the surrounding areas tidy; otherwise it would be a mess because of my siblings, and I like to keep things in specific places so that I don't waste time looking for them.

The original sentence has several issues including run-on structure and an incorrect phrase 'to the otherwise'. Subject-verb agreement itself is OK, but the sentence structure causes confusion. The correction splits into sentences and replaces the incorrect phrase with 'tidy; otherwise'. Suggestions: use punctuation to separate ideas, remove extra words, and place conjunctions correctly.

× Funnily enough, I used to be a very messy child, but my mom used to complain about this quite a lot. So when I grew older I became more tidy. So I always keep things a bit more organized now and neat because, you know, I changed.

✓ Funnily enough, I used to be a very messy child, and my mom used to complain about it quite a lot. When I grew older, I became tidier, so now I keep things more organized and neat because I changed.

Problems: awkward connectors and word choice ('more tidy' -> 'tidier'), repetition of 'so', and informal filler 'you know'. Also 'complain about this' is less natural than 'complain about it'. Suggestions: combine clauses clearly, use correct comparative adjective 'tidier', remove filler words, and place commas after introductory phrases.

× So I always keep things a bit more organized now and neat because, you know, I changed.

✓ I now always keep things a bit more organized and neat because I changed.

The original mixes discourse markers and places adverbs awkwardly. Use consistent present tense 'now always keep' and avoid conversational fillers in formal answers. Place adverbs (now, always) next to the verb for clarity.

× I always clean the surrounding area before starting anything and I always end my day with a clean up of the entire room so that when I wake up I can start my day with an already organized area that keeps me more relaxed and productive.

✓ I always clean the surrounding area before starting anything, and I end my day by tidying the entire room so that when I wake up I can start my day with an organized space that helps me feel more relaxed and productive.

Issues: wordy phrases ('clean up of the entire room'), awkward 'already organized area', and repetition of 'always'. Use parallel verbs ('clean' and 'end...by tidying'), prefer 'space' to 'area' here, and choose concise phrases. This keeps tense consistent and improves fluency.

× I end my day with a clean up of the entire room

✓ I end my day by tidying the entire room

The preposition 'with' plus noun phrase is awkward; use the pattern 'end my day by' + verb-ing for actions used to finish the day. Also 'clean up' is better as the verb 'tidy' here.

× I do believe it's a necessity to be a bit tidy. Not necessarily in an obsessive way, but an organized structure does not harm anyone.

✓ I do believe it's necessary to be a bit tidy. Not necessarily in an obsessive way, but being organized does not harm anyone.

Use 'necessary' instead of the noun phrase 'a necessity' with 'be', and 'being organized' is a more natural noun phrase than 'an organized structure' when referring to personal tidiness. Keep present tense and natural collocations.

× On the contrary, it makes your production a bit better because you don't put up so much effort on cleaning up the areas instead of working.

✓ On the contrary, it makes your productivity a bit better because you don't spend so much time cleaning up the space instead of working.

Problems: incorrect noun 'production' should be 'productivity'; wrong verb phrase 'put up effort on' should be 'spend time (doing something)'; 'areas' is vague—'space' is clearer. Use adverb placement and collocations correctly.