Parks— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be direct and correct grammar in the topic sentence, avoid fillers and pronunciation errors, and supply one specific supporting detail. Use linking words if you add more information.

Exemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I had endless energy, so I often ran around and played football with my friends on the grass. Because the playgrounds were safe and close to home, my parents felt comfortable letting us stay there for hours.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence with correct word choice, fix pronunciation/word errors (park, refreshed/energised), and add a specific reason with a linking word to clarify how parks help you relax.

Exemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me feel refreshed. For example, after a busy workday I walk among the trees and that quiet atmosphere immediately calms me down and improves my mood.

Sugestão: Start with a clear opinion sentence, use correct vocabulary (parks, breathable, greenery), and give one specific reason supported by an example. Avoid hesitations and fix grammar (plural forms, word order).

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they make urban areas more breathable and pleasant. For instance, small neighborhood parks would give people a place to exercise and enjoy fresh air instead of walking only between tall buildings.

Sugestão: Provide a clear, factual answer naming the park you want to visit and explain why with specific details. Avoid confusing tense and vocabulary mistakes; use linking words to show contrast if needed.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like to visit the Ten Thousand Pines Park in the future because I heard it has long walking trails and lakes. Although I visited briefly before and couldn't see everything, next time I plan to spend a whole day there to explore the gardens and take photographs.

× Yeah, I like when I was a kid, uh, I had endless energy, so I often ran around and played with my friends in the park.

✓ Yeah, I liked going to parks when I was a kid; I had endless energy, so I often ran around and played with my friends in the park.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I like' with past time reference 'when I was a kid' which is inconsistent. Use past tense 'I liked' to match the time frame. Also clarify the action 'going to parks' instead of 'when I was a kid' alone. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent by using past tense for memories.

× Uh, those were carefully times.

✓ Uh, those were carefree times.

'Carefully' is an adverb and incorrect here; the noun 'times' needs an adjective. Use 'carefree' (adjective) to mean relaxed and without worries. Suggestion: choose an adjective to modify 'times' rather than an adverb.

× Yes, I still enjoy going to pass because it made me feel immediately battery and I feel I can relax after busy.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because it immediately energizes me and I can relax after being busy.

Multiple issues: 'going to pass' is incorrect — likely 'going to parks' (noun). 'Made me feel immediately battery' mixes past tense and wrong noun; use present tense 'energizes' and correct noun 'energy' or verb 'energizes'. 'I feel I can relax after busy' lacks 'being' and needs noun 'being busy'. Maintain present tense for habitual actions: 'I still enjoy' -> present simple, so follow-up verbs should be present too. Suggestion: use correct nouns and collocations ('energizes', 'being busy').

× Yeah, I think everybody want to see more party because it's made the city more breathable.

✓ Yeah, I think everybody wants to see more parks because it makes the city more pleasant.

'Everybody' is singular and requires third-person singular verb 'wants' (subject-verb agreement). 'More party' is incorrect noun choice; likely 'more parks'. 'It's made' mixes tense and passive; use present simple 'it makes' to describe general effect. 'Breathable' is awkward for city quality; use 'pleasant' or 'open' instead. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and choose correct nouns and collocations.

× I don't like the city to be already filled with the top tallest building, uh, to walk rather some greenery and print.

✓ I don't like the city to be filled with only very tall buildings; I prefer to have some greenery and open space to walk in.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Already filled with the top tallest building' is awkward; use 'filled with only very tall buildings'. 'To walk rather some greenery and print' is incorrect structure and word choice; likely intended 'so I can walk among greenery and open spaces'. Suggestion: reorder and simplify the sentence, use correct nouns ('greenery', 'open space') and appropriate infinitive or purpose clauses.

× Yeah, last time I was at 10,000 pass plus park it was very beautiful but I already travel half of it.

✓ Yeah, last time I was at Ten Thousand Pass Park it was very beautiful, but I had already visited half of it.

Tense and verb choice errors: 'I already travel half of it' uses present-tense verb 'travel' incorrectly for a past event. Use past perfect 'had already visited' to indicate completion before another past reference. Also correct the park name formatting and use 'visited' rather than 'travel' for parts of a park. Suggestion: use past perfect for actions completed before another past event and choose correct verbs.

× I really want to go once but unfortunately the past isn't fair.

✓ I really wanted to go again, but unfortunately I didn't get the chance.

The sentence mixes present desire 'I really want' with past context and a metaphorical phrase 'the past isn't fair' that is unclear. If referring to a missed opportunity, use past tense 'wanted' and a clear expression 'didn't get the chance.' Suggestion: express missed opportunities with clear past tense phrasing rather than vague metaphors.