Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more natural and concise: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Avoid repeating words (e.g., “walk” and “park”) and correct article use (“the park” if it’s specific).

Exemplo: Yes, I walk a lot in the evenings at the local park. I usually go for 30–40 minutes after work because the fresh air and quiet paths help me feel more energetic and clear-headed.

Sugestão: Use correct tense and simpler, clearer sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one specific memory with linking words. Avoid grammar errors (go → went, have → had).

Exemplo: Yes, I often went for walks with my grandparents in the park near our home. I remember chatting and laughing with them in the evenings, which created many warm memories.

Sugestão: Provide a concise topic sentence and two clear, specific reasons using linking words. Improve grammar and collocations (e.g., “greenery,” “socialize,” “strengthen bonds”).

Exemplo: People enjoy walking in parks because the greenery and fresh air are relaxing, and because parks offer opportunities to socialize. For example, meeting neighbors or exercising with friends helps strengthen personal bonds.

Sugestão: Start with a clear conditional topic sentence and avoid incorrect adjectives (waves are not “miserable”). Use precise vocabulary to describe the scene and explain why you would choose it. Keep it to two or three sentences max.

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along a beach. The sound of the waves and the fresh sea breeze are very calming, and walking there would help me feel refreshed after a busy week.

Sugestão: Use past simple and correct word order; combine short related points with linking words. Be specific about activities and correct errors (a heavy dinner, chatted, played). Avoid trailing off.

Exemplo: Recently I walked along Marine Drive near my hometown at night after a heavy dinner. I went with my cousins: we chatted, played a few small games, and enjoyed the sea view, so it was a pleasant evening.

× Yes, I do walk a lot in the evenings at my park.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot in the evenings in my park.

The original uses 'do walk' unnecessarily; simple present 'I walk' is correct for habitual actions. Also use 'in my park' instead of 'at my park' for location inside the park.

× When I was a child, I usually go for walking during the evenings with my grandparents near my home at a park.

✓ When I was a child, I usually went for walks in the evenings with my grandparents near my home at a park.

The sentence mixes past time marker 'When I was a child' with present tense 'go'. Use past tense 'went'. Also 'go for walking' is unidiomatic; use 'went for walks' or 'went walking'. 'During the evenings' is better as 'in the evenings'.

× It was really nice and sweet moments with my grandparents to remember.

✓ Those were really nice, sweet moments to remember with my grandparents.

Original has incorrect word order and plurality. 'Moments' is plural so use 'Those were'. Place adjectives before 'moments' and 'to remember' after for clarity.

× We chatted together, have fun and they play.

✓ We chatted together, had fun, and they played.

The sentence mixes past and present verbs. Because describing past events, use past tense for all verbs: 'chatted', 'had fun', 'played'. Also include conjunction 'and' for parallel structure.

× People like to walk in parks because the greenery around it and the people coming for walk gives a positive energy and to socialize, keep a bond or strengthen the bond.

✓ People like to walk in parks because the greenery around them and the people who come for walks give positive energy and opportunities to socialize and strengthen bonds.

Errors: 'around it' should agree with plural 'parks' so 'around them'. 'Coming for walk' should be 'who come for walks'. Verb agreement: plural subjects 'greenery and people' -> 'give'. 'to socialize, keep a bond or strengthen the bond' is awkward; better: 'opportunities to socialize and strengthen bonds'.

× If I get an opportunity, I would prefer to go for a walk in a beach.

✓ If I got the opportunity, I would prefer to go for a walk on a beach.

Mixed conditional: use 'If I got...' with 'would' for hypothetical present. Also use 'on a beach' (or 'to the beach'); 'in a beach' is incorrect.

× The waves are really very much miserable.

✓ The waves are very strong and dramatic.

'Miserable' is not appropriate for waves; collocation is wrong. 'Really very much' is redundant; use a single intensifier like 'very'. Choose adjectives that collocate with 'waves', e.g., 'strong', 'dramatic', or 'so calming' depending on intended meaning.

× And the peaceful and calm atmosphere feels so refreshed and really energized from a busy schedule.

✓ The peaceful, calm atmosphere makes me feel refreshed and energized after a busy day.

'Atmosphere feels refreshed' is incorrect because atmosphere does not feel refreshed; a person feels refreshed. Use 'makes me feel refreshed and energized'. 'From a busy schedule' is awkward; use 'after a busy day' or 'after a busy schedule'.

× Recently I walked along the walkway at Marine Drive near my hometown at night after a ha heavy dinner.

✓ Recently I walked along the walkway at Marine Drive near my hometown at night after a heavy dinner.

Typo 'ha heavy' should be 'a heavy'. Past tense 'walked' is correct for recent past. Remove extra article 'a' before 'ha'.

× I went with my cousins.

✓ I went with my cousins.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed.

× It was really a nice moment to share.

✓ It was a really nice time to share.

'Nice moment to share' is understandable but 'nice time to share' or 'a really nice moment to share with them' is more natural. Minor reordering of adverbs improves fluency.

× We had chat fun, play games or.

✓ We chatted, had fun, and played games.

Original is fragmentary and mixes forms. Use past tense verbs in parallel: 'chatted', 'had fun', 'played games'. Remove trailing 'or' and ensure complete coordination.