Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and use clearer sentence structures. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g. say “because my work requires it,” “I troubleshoot many issues,” “there are many facilities I need to visit”).

Exemplo: Yes, I walk a lot because my job requires it. I work as an engineer at a power plant, so I frequently walk between different facilities to inspect equipment and troubleshoot problems.

Sugestão: Use correct tense and more natural phrasing. Give a clear topic sentence then a specific detail. Replace "brings me" with "took me" and correct tense of habitual past ("my father usually took me").

Exemplo: Yes, I often went for walks as a child. My father usually took me on afternoon walks as a way for him to exercise, and I remember exploring the neighborhood with him.

Sugestão: Avoid fillers and awkward phrasing. Give a direct reason followed by specific supporting details and use linking words (e.g. "because", "also"). Use precise adjectives (e.g. pleasant, relaxing) instead of vague words like "majestic."

Exemplo: People like walking in parks because there is plenty of open space and fresh air. Also, parks have pleasant scenery and greenery, which makes walking relaxing and good for mental health.

Sugestão: Make the conditional sentence smoother and correct word choice. Use one clear reason and a specific detail about the beach. Avoid redundancy ("improve and reduce my stress" is repetitive).

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along a beach because the sea views and fresh air help me relax and reduce stress from work.

Sugestão: Use correct past tense and provide a concise topic sentence, then specific details with linking words. Avoid filler phrases like "get the chance or the opportunity." Combine sentences to improve fluency.

Exemplo: Recently I walked a lot while working on site at our power plant. We surveyed various facilities, including the water treatment area, coal handling sections, and the boilers, so I spent most days walking between them.

× Yes, I do walk a lot because of what my work requires.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot because of what my work requires.

Using 'do' for emphasis is unnecessary in a neutral answer. In present simple statements, 'I walk' is correct. Remove the auxiliary 'do' unless you want to add emphasis. Suggestion: use 'I walk a lot' for natural speech.

× I am an engineer in a power plant where I try to troubleshoot a lot of stops and we have a lot of facilities in the power plant where I usually go, so I do walk a lot.

✓ I am an engineer at a power plant where I troubleshoot many stoppages, and there are many facilities I need to visit, so I walk a lot.

The original sentence is long and repetitive and uses incorrect noun forms and prepositions. Use 'at a power plant' (correct preposition), 'troubleshoot many stoppages' (plural noun and clearer phrase), and 'there are many facilities I need to visit' to avoid repetition. Remove unnecessary 'do'. Break complex ideas into clearer clauses.

× Yes, when I was a child, my father usually brings me when he walks during the afternoon.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my father usually brought me with him when he walked in the afternoon.

The sentence mixes past ('was') with present 'brings'. Maintain past tense: 'brought'. Also add 'with him' for clarity and use 'in the afternoon' as the typical preposition. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent.

× This is his way of doing some exercise back in the day.

✓ That was his way of getting some exercise back in the day.

The speaker refers to past habit, so use past tense 'was' instead of present 'is'. 'Getting some exercise' is more natural than 'doing some exercise' here. Keep tense consistent with previous sentence.

× I think it is because that parks usually have this space for them to walk.

✓ I think it's because parks usually have space for people to walk.

Remove 'that' which is unnecessary after 'because'. Use plural noun 'parks' with 'space' (uncountable) and replace 'them' with 'people' for clarity. Also contraction 'it's' is more natural.

× Also the scenery and parks are very majestic.

✓ Also, the scenery in parks is very beautiful and pleasant.

'Majestic' is less typical for parks and the phrase 'scenery and parks' is awkward. More natural phrasing: 'the scenery in parks is very beautiful and pleasant.' Add comma after 'Also'. Choose adjectives that fit the context.

× If I were given a chance to walk or do a long walk, I would prefer to do it near beaches because it gives you a beautiful scenery which can improve and reduce my stress, especially when I am currently working.

✓ If I were given the chance to take a long walk, I would prefer to do it near beaches because they offer beautiful scenery that can reduce my stress, especially when I am working.

Simplify redundancy: 'given the chance' and 'take a long walk'. Use plural 'beaches' and 'they offer' to agree. 'Beautiful scenery' is uncountable so no 'a'. 'That can reduce my stress' matches first-person subject. Remove 'currently' as 'am working' already indicates present. Maintain conditional structure correctly.

× Recently I get the chance or the opportunity to work around our site.

✓ Recently I got the chance or the opportunity to work around our site.

Use past tense 'got' for a completed recent event, or use present perfect 'have gotten' depending on context. Here 'recently' with simple past 'got' is natural. Decide tense to match whether the opportunity is ongoing.

× So in the power plant we were tasked to survey different facilities from water treatment plants to coal handling facilities and also our boilers.

✓ So at the power plant we were tasked with surveying different facilities, from the water treatment plant and coal-handling facilities to our boilers.

Use 'at the power plant' (preposition), 'tasked with surveying' is the correct collocation (verb + preposition), and include articles where needed ('the water treatment plant'). Hyphenate 'coal-handling' as a compound adjective. Maintain past tense 'were tasked'.

× And with that we did a lot of walking.

✓ Because of that, we did a lot of walking.

Beginning with 'And' is informal; 'Because of that' clearly links cause and effect. Past tense 'did' is correct. This makes the connection clearer and more natural.