Walking— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Make your answer more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct verb forms (e.g., "I prefer" → "I prefer to").

Exemplo: I don't usually walk much in daily life, but I walk a lot when I travel or for work. For example, on city trips I prefer to take long walks to explore neighborhoods and discover hidden cafés, and at work I often walk between sites to meet clients.

Sugestão: Provide a clear past-tense topic sentence and more specific details. Use correct tense and linking words to connect ideas; avoid repeating the same reason (fresh air/sunshine) without expansion.

Exemplo: Yes, I often went outside as a child. I used to beg my parents to take me to the local playground where I could run and play, and I also enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine because they made me feel energetic and happy.

Sugestão: Structure the answer: make a general statement, then give two specific reasons with linking words and examples. Improve grammar (e.g., "attract people to go"), avoid vague phrases like "always be captivating" and use precise vocabulary (reduce stress, improve mood).

Exemplo: People walk in parks mainly to relax and enjoy nature. For example, the fresh air and greenery help reduce stress and improve mood, and the sunlight and open space encourage exercise like jogging or walking with friends.

Sugestão: Be concise and accurate with place names (e.g., "the River Seine" rather than "Paris river"), avoid unclear terms like "Apple town." Start with a clear conditional sentence and give specific sensory details about what you'd see or feel.

Exemplo: If I had the chance, I'd take a long walk along the River Seine in Paris at night because I could admire the illuminated bridges and historic buildings, enjoy the reflections on the water, and soak up the romantic atmosphere.

Sugestão: Use past simple consistently and be concise. Avoid run-on sentences and clarify the location (shopping mall vs supermarket). Give one or two specific details about what you saw or why you didn't buy anything.

Exemplo: Recently I walked around a nearby shopping mall to do some window shopping. I looked at clothes and electronics, but I didn't find anything I liked, so I left without buying anything.

× When I was travelling, I prefer walking a lot such as go on a city walk to gain a deeper discovery of the city while working is a requirement.

✓ When I was travelling, I preferred walking a lot, such as going on city walks to gain a deeper understanding of the city, while during work walking was required.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was travelling' sets past context, so 'prefer' should be past 'preferred'. Also sentence structure and verb forms were incorrect: 'go on a city walk' should be 'going on city walks' to match gerund phrase. 'Gain a deeper discovery' is unidiomatic; use 'gain a deeper understanding'. Clarify 'while working is a requirement' to 'while during work walking was required' or restructure. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout and use gerunds for activities.

× That's why I walk a lot during work.

✓ That's why I walked a lot during work.

Context uses past tense ('When I was travelling...'), so the verb should be past 'walked' rather than present 'walk'. Maintain consistent tense.

× When I was a child, I loved to go outside. I remember begging my parents to go out for a walk, such as going to the playground in order for me to play.

✓ When I was a child, I loved going outside. I remember begging my parents to go out for walks, for example to the playground so I could play.

Use of infinitive 'to go outside' is acceptable but 'loved going' is more natural. 'In order for me to play' is wordy and awkward; use 'so I could play'. 'Such as going to the playground' should be integrated as 'for example to the playground' and plural 'walks' fits repeated action.

× And I also remember I love the fresh air outside and the sunshine.

✓ And I also remember that I loved the fresh air and the sunshine.

Memory refers to past experience, so verbs should be past: 'loved' not 'love'. Include 'that' for clarity and omit 'outside' as redundant with 'fresh air'.

× That's why I prefer going on a walk when I was young.

✓ That's why I preferred going for walks when I was young.

Mix of present 'prefer' with past time 'when I was young' creates tense inconsistency. Use past 'preferred' and plural 'walks' or 'going for walks' for habitual past actions.

× I believe there are several things that attract people go on a walk in the parks such as fresh air.

✓ I believe there are several things that attract people to go for walks in parks, such as the fresh air.

Missing infinitive marker 'to' before 'go', incorrect preposition 'in the parks' -> 'in parks' or 'to go for walks in parks'. Add 'the' before 'fresh air' for specificity. Reorder for natural phrasing.

× By breathing in the fresh air, it will reduce stress and also can relieve the pressure from daily work.

✓ Breathing in the fresh air reduces stress and can relieve pressure from daily work.

Use active present simple 'reduces' for general statements instead of 'By breathing... it will reduce'. Remove redundant 'the' before 'pressure' and streamline clause. 'Can relieve' is fine; place verbs properly.

× As well as the sunshine in the park will always be captivating for people to go.

✓ The sunshine in the park is also captivating and encourages people to go.

'As well as' is incorrectly used to start the clause; restructure to a clear subject-verb form. 'Captivating for people to go' is awkward; use 'encourages people to go' or 'entices people'.

× I would love to take a long walk along the Paris river at night because I can enjoy the night view with the Apple town as well as watching the beautiful scenes in Paris.

✓ I would love to take a long walk along the Seine in Paris at night because I could enjoy the night views and see the beautiful sights of the city.

Use correct proper noun 'the Seine' or 'the river in Paris' rather than 'Paris river'. 'Apple town' is unclear and likely incorrect—replace with 'city' or remove. Maintain modal consistency: 'would' sets conditional, so 'could' fits. 'Watching the beautiful scenes' -> 'see the beautiful sights' is more natural.

× I believe it would be one of my dream to fulfill in the future.

✓ I believe it would be one of my dreams to fulfill in the future.

Count noun 'dream' requires plural 'dreams' after 'one of'. Alternatively use 'a dream I want to fulfill'. Also 'in the future' is redundant after conditional 'would' but acceptable.

× I went for a walk inside the shopping mall lately to do the window shopping to see if there are any products that I'm satisfied with that I can take home with and unfortunately there are none that I bought during the walk inside the supermarket.

✓ I went for a walk inside the shopping mall recently to do some window shopping to see if there were any products I was satisfied with and could buy, but unfortunately I didn't buy anything during that visit.

Use 'recently' instead of 'lately' in past context. Maintain past tense throughout: 'were', 'was satisfied', 'could buy', 'didn't buy'. Remove redundancy 'inside' and 'with'. Simplify phrasing for clarity and natural English.