Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more fluent and concise: give a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and use linking language to list examples. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., “team sports” instead of repeating “sport”). Keep to 2–4 sentences maximum.

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy several hobbies. I’m a big fan of team sports that use a ball, such as football, basketball and volleyball, because I like the teamwork and physical activity. I also enjoy reading in my free time to relax and learn new things.

Sugestão: Give a direct topic sentence, use correct tense and clear phrases, remove hesitations and unclear references. If mentioning a TV program or team, name it clearly and explain briefly why it mattered. Limit to 2–3 clear sentences.

Exemplo: Yes. As a child I was generally into sports and I often watched women’s games on TV, especially matches featuring my local team, Athena, which inspired me to play. Watching those games helped me learn rules and techniques.

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct grammar for duration (e.g., “I have played football since I was…”) and avoid long hesitations. Provide a specific age and a brief reason or lasting effect to enrich the answer.

Exemplo: Yes, I have played football since I was about four or five years old. I’ve kept playing because I love the competition and the chance to stay fit and socialise with friends.

Sugestão: Give a clear comparative response: say whether you share hobbies, then give one or two specific contrasts using linking words (e.g., “however,” “for example”). Reduce hesitations and finish the sentence. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes, we share some interests, but we don’t all have the same hobbies. For example, my brother is only into football, whereas I enjoy several sports like basketball and volleyball as well.

× Yes, I do. I'm a fan of sports and I uh, prefer the sport that, uh, play with, uh, ball.

✓ Yes, I do. I'm a fan of sports and I prefer sports that are played with a ball.

The student omitted the subject for 'play' and used an inappropriate relative clause. Use passive 'are played' or 'that use a ball' and plural 'sports' to match 'a fan of sports'. This fixes subject-verb and pronoun reference errors. Suggestion: Say 'I prefer sports that are played with a ball' or 'I prefer ball sports.'

× Also I'd like uh, reading as well.

✓ Also, I'd like reading as well.

The phrase 'I'd like reading' is awkward; 'I'd like to read' or 'I like reading' are correct. Here, because speaking about hobbies generally, use present simple: 'I also like reading.' Suggestion: Use 'I also like reading' or 'I'd like to read.'

× Yes, as I said earlier was a sport as a general and also when I was a child I had been in in in TV to watch a woman game.

✓ Yes, as I said earlier, sport in general, and when I was a child I used to watch women's games on TV.

The original lacks subjects and correct verb forms. 'Had been in TV' is incorrect; use 'used to watch on TV' for habitual past. 'Woman game' should be 'women's game' or 'women's matches.' Suggestion: Use 'I used to watch women's games on TV.'

× I started with the Athena.

✓ I started with Athena.

Definite article 'the' is unnecessary before a proper noun (team or club) unless part of the name. Remove 'the' to correctly name the team or club. Suggestion: If 'Athena' is a team name, say 'I started with Athena.'

× Has, uh, the one that started with me when I was a child as a football.

✓ Yes, the hobby that started with me when I was a child is football.

Sentence lacks a clear subject and verb order. Begin with a clear subject 'the hobby' and use present tense 'is football' to describe a lasting hobby. Suggestion: Say 'The hobby that started when I was a child is football.'

× So from, I don't know, but when, uh, if you, when I was four or five years I was playing football.

✓ So, I don't know exactly, but when I was four or five years old I started playing football.

Use 'years old' after age, and use 'started playing' for beginning an activity in the past. 'I was playing' implies continuous action; 'started playing' fits better for when it began. Suggestion: 'When I was four or five years old, I started playing football.'

× Yeah, we share some hobbies but we are different and the kind of hobbies umm, let me say umm fan of different sport maybe they are like my brother, they are focused totally and only football so we.

✓ Yeah, we share some hobbies, but our interests are different. For example, my brother is only interested in football, while I like several sports.

Original has unclear pronoun references and incomplete sentence. Use 'our interests' instead of 'the kind of hobbies' and clarify contrast with 'while'. 'They are like my brother' is incorrect; refer directly 'my brother is only interested in football.' Suggestion: 'We share some hobbies, but my brother focuses only on football, while I enjoy different sports.'