Hobby— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two brief supporting points using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g. 'I enjoy playing golf and going to the gym'), avoid repetitions and unclear phrases like 'required concentrations in this Cleveland.' Use specific details: how often you practice golf, and one way the gym helps your health.

Exemplo: I have a few hobbies; I especially enjoy playing golf and going to the gym. For example, I practice golf twice a week to improve my swing and lower my score. Also, I go to the gym three times a week to build strength and maintain my cardiovascular fitness.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence and use correct verb forms and linking words. Avoid hesitation and repetition. Be specific about when and how you played (e.g. frequency, position) and describe one concrete benefit with an example. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: Yes. As a child I loved playing sports, especially soccer. I played with my friends at primary school every afternoon, usually as a midfielder, and that helped me improve my teamwork and communication skills. Because of soccer I became closer with classmates and made several lasting friendships.

Sugestão: Clarify the meaning and use correct vocabulary: 'looking after a dog' or 'having a dog.' Start with a direct statement that you have kept a hobby of pet care since childhood, then explain why (e.g. wanted a dog, now own one) and give a specific detail (dog's name or routine). Reduce hesitations and fix grammar (e.g. 'I owned a dog' or 'I now own a dog').

Exemplo: Yes. I've wanted a dog since I was a child, so pet care has been a long-standing interest. I finally owned a dog when I became an adult; his name is Max, and I walk him every morning and feed him in the evening. Taking care of Max gives me responsibility and joy.

Sugestão: Make your reply coherent and relevant: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. 'Yes, some of my family members and I share hobbies'). Explain one shared activity precisely (e.g. family walks or exercising) and use linking words to show reason (because / so). Avoid unclear phrases like 'work in the morning and afternoon after a dinner.' Provide a simple reason and one specific example (frequency or routine).

Exemplo: Yes. Some of my family members and I share a hobby: we enjoy exercising together. For instance, we take a 30-minute walk every evening after dinner because we believe it helps us stay healthy and prevents weight gain.

× Ah yes, I do have a few hobbies and one I particularly enjoy the playing golf and going to the gym because I like it because it's required concentrations in this Cleveland.

✓ Ah yes, I have a few hobbies; the ones I particularly enjoy are playing golf and going to the gym because I like them and they require concentration.

The original sentence has several structure problems: unnecessary words ('the playing'), repetition ('because I like it because'), and incorrect noun phrase ('required concentrations in this Cleveland' is nonsensical). I combined ideas into a clearer compound sentence, corrected 'the playing golf' to 'playing golf', changed 'it' to 'them' to agree with plural 'golf and gym', and replaced the unclear phrase with 'they require concentration'. Suggestion: simplify clauses, avoid repetition, ensure pronoun agreement and clear noun phrases.

× With a lot of practices I can gradually improve my technique and lower my scores.

✓ With a lot of practice I can gradually improve my technique and lower my scores.

'Practices' is the plural noun form meaning instances; the uncountable noun 'practice' is more natural here. The tense/modal 'can' is acceptable for ability/possibility. Suggestion: use 'practice' (uncountable) when referring to general repeated training.

× Umm with going gym will help me stay healthy and.

✓ Going to the gym helps me stay healthy.

The clause is incomplete and missing preposition 'to' after 'going' and an object. I removed filler 'Umm', completed the sentence and used simple present 'helps' for habitual action. Suggestion: use 'going to the gym' and complete the predicate.

× Yes I did. When I was a kid I used to love playing sports and one particularly.

✓ Yes I did. When I was a kid I used to love playing sports, especially one in particular.

The fragment 'and one particularly' is incomplete and unclear. I clarified to 'especially one in particular' but better is to specify which sport. Suggestion: complete fragments and provide the specific item.

× I play soccer with my friend in my primary school and I love playing soccer because it's helped me to improve my communi socialization and also make more make more new friends.

✓ I played soccer with my friends at primary school, and I loved it because it helped me improve my communication and make new friends.

Tense inconsistency: speaker refers to childhood, so past tense 'played' and 'loved' are appropriate. 'Friend' should be plural if playing with several; 'at primary school' is natural. 'it's helped me' mixes present perfect; change to 'it helped me'. 'communi socialization' is incorrect—change to 'communication'. Removed duplicate 'make more'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for past habits and use correct nouns.

× Yes I do, looking at the dock is something I have seen.

✓ Yes I do. Looking after a dog is something I have wanted.

Original uses 'looking at the dock' (misspellings and wrong verb). The intended idea is 'looking after a dog' or 'having a dog'. 'Have seen' is wrong in context; 'have wanted' expresses a sustained desire. Suggestion: use correct verb phrase 'look after' and appropriate perfect tense for continued desire.

× I uh, what I tried, I always wanted to have a dog but I was too young to look at the one so when I become an adult I, I, I, umm, I owe a dog and I love taking care of him.

✓ I always wanted to have a dog, but I was too young to look after one. When I became an adult, I owned a dog and I loved taking care of him.

Multiple errors: tense mismatch ('become' should be past 'became'), wrong verbs ('owe' should be 'own'), and awkward phrasing. I corrected to past tense to match narrative. Suggestion: use 'look after' for caring, 'own' for possession, and maintain consistent past tense for past events.

× Yet we shared a shame hobbies for one particular activities that we love a working.

✓ Yes, we share the same hobbies for one particular activity that we love: walking.

Original has many errors: 'Yet' odd, 'shame' should be 'same', 'hobbies for one particular activities' is ungrammatical, and 'working' likely intended 'walking'. I corrected pronouns/articles and singular/plural mismatch. Suggestion: choose correct words and ensure noun agreement and clear activity naming.

× We always try to work in the morning and afternoon after a dinner because, uh, we believe it will have A to stay healthy and, umm, uh, advise obesity.

✓ We always try to walk in the morning and afternoon after dinner because we believe it helps us stay healthy and prevents obesity.

Many issues: 'work' should be 'walk' if referring to exercise; 'after a dinner' should be 'after dinner' (no article). 'It will have A to stay healthy' is ungrammatical—change to 'helps us stay healthy'. 'Advise obesity' is incorrect; intended 'prevent obesity'. Suggestion: use correct verbs and prepositions, and a clear verb for purpose ('helps'/'prevents').