밴드 7 예시
주제: Describe a time when you felt proud of a family member
예제
Step 1: Identify the Part 2 question requirements. The question asks you to describe a time when you felt proud of a family member. You should mention: - When it happened - Who the person is - What the person did - And explain why you felt proud of him/her Step 2: Strategies for a better answer - Expand your answer with more details or extra stories: Give background about your family member, describe the situation in detail, and add any relevant emotions or reactions. - Coherence is important: Make sure your story flows logically from one point to the next. - Paraphrasing: Use different words to express the same ideas, especially when referring to pride or achievement. - Referring: Refer back to previous points to maintain cohesion. - Signposting: Use linking words and phrases to guide the listener through your answer. - Vocabulary needs to be appropriate as well as varied: Use a range of adjectives and verbs to describe feelings and actions. - Using synonyms or substitution: Avoid repeating the same words, especially “proud” or “family member.” - Demonstrating a range of grammar is key factor: Use different tenses, conditionals, and complex sentences. - Whole Model Answer MUST be more than 300 words. Topic:A time I felt proud of my younger sister When it happened One of the most memorable times I felt incredibly proud of a family member was about two years ago, during my younger sister’s high school graduation ceremony. The event took place in June, right at the end of the academic year, and it was held in the large auditorium of her school. I remember the weather was perfect that day, which made the whole experience even more enjoyable for our family. Who the person is The person I’m referring to is my younger sister, Lily. She’s always been a very determined and hardworking individual, but she’s also quite modest and doesn’t usually talk much about her achievements. Growing up, we were quite close, and I’ve always admired her dedication to her studies and her willingness to help others. What the person did What made this occasion so special was that Lily was chosen as the valedictorian of her graduating class. This meant she had the highest academic performance among all her peers, and she was selected to deliver the graduation speech. I still remember sitting in the audience, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness as she walked up to the podium. Her speech was not only eloquent and heartfelt, but it also inspired many of her classmates to pursue their dreams. She spoke about overcoming challenges, the importance of perseverance, and the value of supporting one another. After her speech, she received a standing ovation from everyone in the auditorium, including teachers, students, and parents. And explain why you felt proud of him/her The reason I felt so proud of Lily was not just because of her academic accomplishments, but also because of the way she carried herself throughout the entire process. She worked incredibly hard, often staying up late to study or help her friends with their assignments, yet she never complained or sought attention. Seeing her recognized for her efforts and hearing her speak so confidently in front of a large audience made me realize how much she had grown. It was a truly emotional moment for me, and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and admiration for her. To this day, whenever I think about that moment, it motivates me to work harder and be a better sibling.
Step 1: Identify the Part 2 question requirements. The question asks you to describe a time when you felt proud of a family member. You should mention: - When it happened - Who the person is - What the person did - And explain why you felt proud of him/her Step 2: Strategies for a better answer - Expand your answer with more details or extra stories: Give background about your family member, describe the situation in detail, and add any relevant emotions or reactions. - Coherence is important: Make sure your story flows logically from one point to the next. - Paraphrasing: Use different words to express the same ideas, especially when referring to pride or achievement. - Referring: Refer back to previous points to maintain cohesion. - Signposting: Use linking words and phrases to guide the listener through your answer. - Vocabulary needs to be appropriate as well as varied: Use a range of adjectives and verbs to describe feelings and actions. - Using synonyms or substitution: Avoid repeating the same words, especially “proud” or “family member.” - Demonstrating a range of grammar is key factor: Use different tenses, conditionals, and complex sentences. - Whole Model Answer MUST be more than 300 words. Topic:A time I felt proud of my younger sister When it happened One of the most memorable times I felt incredibly proud of a family member was about two years ago, during my younger sister’s high school graduation ceremony. The event took place in June, right at the end of the academic year, and it was held in the large auditorium of her school. I remember the weather was perfect that day, which made the whole experience even more enjoyable for our family. Who the person is The person I’m referring to is my younger sister, Lily. She’s always been a very determined and hardworking individual, but she’s also quite modest and doesn’t usually talk much about her achievements. Growing up, we were quite close, and I’ve always admired her dedication to her studies and her willingness to help others. What the person did What made this occasion so special was that Lily was chosen as the valedictorian of her graduating class. This meant she had the highest academic performance among all her peers, and she was selected to deliver the graduation speech. I still remember sitting in the audience, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness as she walked up to the podium. Her speech was not only eloquent and heartfelt, but it also inspired many of her classmates to pursue their dreams. She spoke about overcoming challenges, the importance of perseverance, and the value of supporting one another. After her speech, she received a standing ovation from everyone in the auditorium, including teachers, students, and parents. And explain why you felt proud of him/her The reason I felt so proud of Lily was not just because of her academic accomplishments, but also because of the way she carried herself throughout the entire process. She worked incredibly hard, often staying up late to study or help her friends with their assignments, yet she never complained or sought attention. Seeing her recognized for her efforts and hearing her speak so confidently in front of a large audience made me realize how much she had grown. It was a truly emotional moment for me, and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and admiration for her. To this day, whenever I think about that moment, it motivates me to work harder and be a better sibling.
문법 분석
- **Complex Sentence Structures:** The answer demonstrates a strong command of complex sentences, using subordinate clauses and relative clauses to add detail and depth. For example: “What made this occasion so special was that Lily was chosen as the valedictorian of her graduating class, which meant she had the highest academic performance among all her peers, and she was selected to deliver the graduation speech.” - **Variety of Tenses:** The response skillfully switches between past simple (“I remember the weather was perfect”), past continuous (“she was staying up late to study”), and present simple (“she’s always been a very determined and hardworking individual”) to provide context and background. - **Pronoun Reference and Cohesion:** Pronouns like “she,” “her,” and “this” are used effectively to maintain cohesion and avoid repetition. - **Use of Passive Voice:** The passive is used appropriately, e.g., “was chosen as the valedictorian,” “was held in the large auditorium,” “was recognized for her efforts.” - **Conditional and Causative Structures:** The answer uses causative and conditional structures to express reasons and hypothetical situations, such as “The reason I felt so proud…was not just because of her academic accomplishments, but also because of the way she carried herself.” - **Linking Words and Signposting:** Words and phrases like “What made this occasion so special,” “After her speech,” “The reason I felt so proud,” “To this day,” and “whenever I think about that moment” help guide the listener through the narrative and ensure logical flow.
어휘
  • - **Adjectives and Descriptive Phrases:** “incredibly proud,” “memorable,” “determined,” “hardworking,” “modest,” “eloquent,” “heartfelt,” “confidently,” “overwhelming sense of pride and admiration.”
    - **Adjectives and Descriptive Phrases:** “incredibly proud,” “memorable,” “determined,” “hardworking,” “modest,” “eloquent,” “heartfelt,” “confidently,” “overwhelming sense of pride and admiration.”
  • - **Academic and Event-Related Vocabulary:** “graduation ceremony,” “valedictorian,” “graduating class,” “academic performance,” “graduation speech,” “standing ovation,” “auditorium,” “peers,” “teachers,” “students,” “parents.”
    - **Academic and Event-Related Vocabulary:** “graduation ceremony,” “valedictorian,” “graduating class,” “academic performance,” “graduation speech,” “standing ovation,” “auditorium,” “peers,” “teachers,” “students,” “parents.”
  • - **Verbs and Phrasal Verbs:** “admired,” “delivered,” “overcoming challenges,” “pursue their dreams,” “supporting one another,” “recognized for her efforts,” “carried herself,” “motivates me,” “work harder.”
    - **Verbs and Phrasal Verbs:** “admired,” “delivered,” “overcoming challenges,” “pursue their dreams,” “supporting one another,” “recognized for her efforts,” “carried herself,” “motivates me,” “work harder.”
  • - **Emotional and Reflective Language:** “felt an overwhelming sense of pride,” “truly emotional moment,” “admiration,” “motivates me to work harder,” “be a better sibling.”
    - **Emotional and Reflective Language:** “felt an overwhelming sense of pride,” “truly emotional moment,” “admiration,” “motivates me to work harder,” “be a better sibling.”
  • - **Idiomatic and Natural Expressions:** “walked up to the podium,” “stood out,” “staying up late,” “never complained or sought attention,” “to this day.”
    - **Idiomatic and Natural Expressions:** “walked up to the podium,” “stood out,” “staying up late,” “never complained or sought attention,” “to this day.”
  • These features together demonstrate a Band 7.0 level answer: clear, fluent, well-organized, with a range of grammar and vocabulary, and only occasional minor errors that do not impede communication.
    These features together demonstrate a Band 7.0 level answer: clear, fluent, well-organized, with a range of grammar and vocabulary, and only occasional minor errors that do not impede communication.