Shopping— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify your main point with a clear topic sentence, use correct grammar and simpler phrasing, and give one concise reason. Avoid redundancy and keep to 2–3 sentences. For example, say you prefer online shopping and explain one specific reason (price comparison or convenience). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: I don't enjoy shopping in physical stores; I prefer buying online because it's easier to compare prices and find the best deals. So, I usually shop online to save time and money.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then give a concise reason with specific details. Improve grammar (tense and article use) and use linking words like 'because' and 'so'. Mention how you compare prices (websites, apps, in-store) to be more specific.

예시: Yes, I compare prices regularly because I come from a middle-income family and clothes can be expensive. For example, I check online stores and visit a couple of malls to make sure I get the best price.

제안: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence saying whether it's difficult, then provide one or two specific reasons. Reduce confusing phrasing and incorrect words (e.g., 'suits my eyes', 'close material'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and mention specific factors that make choosing hard (fit, style, material).

예시: Yes, I find choosing clothes difficult because I worry about the fit and the material. For example, a shirt might look good on the hanger but feel uncomfortable, so I hesitate to buy it.

제안: Answer directly and clearly that price does not always equal quality. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'item' or 'product' and 'cloth' or 'fabric') and give a specific example about quality differences such as materials or brand reputation. Use linking words like 'however' and 'for example'.

예시: No, expensive products are not always better. For example, a cheaper T-shirt made from high-quality cotton can be more comfortable than an expensive one made from synthetic fabric, so I check the material and reviews before I buy.

× Actually I'm not into shopping because during the shopping I can't disturb between which closest treatment price or which closes.

✓ Actually, I'm not into shopping because while I'm shopping I can't decide between the closest options, their prices, or which clothes to choose.

The original sentence has unclear structure and incorrect word choices ('disturb between', 'closest treatment price', 'which closes') causing meaning confusion. This is a sentence structure error. Use 'while I'm shopping' for time, 'decide between' for choices, and 'clothes' not 'closes'. Keep items parallel: 'options, their prices, or which clothes to choose'. Suggestion: simplify clauses and use correct verbs and nouns to express choice and comparison.

× Expensive or not, it would have been better for me if I choose it online.

✓ Expensive or not, it would have been better for me if I had chosen it online.

The sentence mixes conditional forms incorrectly. The correct third conditional past form requires 'had chosen' (past participle) after 'would have been'. This is an error in verb forms (present participle vs past participle). Suggestion: use 'if I had chosen' for unreal past conditions.

× Actually I am doing it often because as I am from middle income family, some clothes could exceed my budget.

✓ Actually I do it often because, as I am from a middle-income family, some clothes exceed my budget.

Use simple present 'do' for habitual actions ('I do it often'), not 'am doing'. Also include the article 'a' before 'middle-income family' and use hyphenated adjective 'middle-income'. 'Could exceed' is unnecessary modal; use 'exceed' to state a factual tendency. This is a present tense and article usage issue. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and include appropriate articles.

× Moreover, I compare the actual prices in shopping malls with exact clothes.

✓ Moreover, I compare the actual prices in shopping malls for the exact clothes I want.

Original lacks clarity: 'compare prices with exact clothes' is ungrammatical. This is a sentence structure error. Specify what is being compared: prices in malls for the exact clothes you want. Suggestion: make the object of 'compare' clear and keep the phrase order logical.

× Actually, it's the main reason why I don't like shopping and it's difficult for me to choose which one suits me best or which one suits my eyes better go and more work.

✓ Actually, that's the main reason why I don't like shopping: it's difficult for me to choose which item suits me best or which one looks better to me.

This sentence has multiple structural problems and an unclear ending ('go and more work'). It's a sentence structure error. Replace vague phrases with clear ones: 'which item suits me best' and 'which one looks better to me.' Use a colon to connect clauses for clarity. Suggestion: break complex ideas into clearer clauses and remove irrelevant fragments.

× Some close material could affect me badly.

✓ Some clothing materials could affect me badly.

The word 'close' is incorrect; the intended noun is 'clothes' or 'clothing' and 'material' should be plural or 'clothing material'. This is an incorrect use of adjectives/nouns. Use 'clothing materials' to refer to fabric types. Suggestion: use correct nouns ('clothing materials') and consider 'irritate' or 'cause a reaction' for clarity.

× Actually it depends on the market itself, because in some countries this exact same clause could be more cheaper, moreover, meaning special clauses could irritate the skin itself unless it's made from suitable material.

✓ Actually it depends on the market: in some countries the exact same clothes can be cheaper. Also, certain special fabrics can irritate the skin unless they are made from suitable materials.

The original is filled with wrong word choices ('clause' instead of 'clothes'), awkward modifiers ('more cheaper'), and mixed ideas. This is a sentence structure error combined with word choice issues. Use 'clothes' not 'clause', 'cheaper' not 'more cheaper', and clarify 'special fabrics' and the condition with correct verb agreement ('they are made'). Suggestion: replace incorrect words, avoid redundant comparatives, and split ideas into separate clear sentences.