History— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/grammar errors (e.g., “when I was a student,” “I didn't really like it because I had to memorize…”).

예시: Yes, I have. I began learning the history of my country when I was a student at school. At first I didn’t enjoy it because I had to memorize many names, dates and places, but over time I became interested when I learned about the stories behind those events.

제안: Use present tense for current habits and add linking words for coherence. Give one specific example to make your answer more vivid. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., “I learn” not “I learned”, “listen to audiobooks” or “read history books”, and ‘go to museums’).

예시: I usually learn history by watching documentaries and reading history books. In addition, I listen to historical audiobooks during my commute, and sometimes I visit museums and historical sites to see artifacts in person.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence and then give two specific, well-linked benefits. Fix grammar (e.g., “history has benefits,” “helps people learn about their ancestors’ behavior and decisions,” “avoid repeating mistakes”). Use linking words like “for example” and “as a result.”

예시: Learning history has several benefits. For example, it helps people understand their ancestors’ behaviors and decisions, and as a result they can avoid repeating past mistakes and make better choices in the future.

제안: Give a concise main idea, then support it with one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid listing too many similar words; choose the most relevant ones (e.g., “traditions” instead of several synonyms).

예시: Yes, I think it is very important. Learning history helps people understand their ancestors’ traditions and the reasons behind past decisions, which in turn can prevent repeating mistakes and guide better decisions today.

× Yes, actually I started with my own country history, which I started when I was student at school.

✓ Yes, actually I started studying the history of my own country when I was a student at school.

The original sentence has awkward structure and missing articles. 'Started with my own country history' is unnatural; use 'started studying the history of my own country'. 'When I was student' misses the indefinite article 'a'. Rearranging creates a clear, grammatical sentence. Suggestion: Use 'started studying' + 'the history of my own country' and include 'a' before 'student'.

× At first I didn't really like because I should memorize the name of famous people and also dates and historical places.

✓ At first I didn't really like it because I had to memorize the names of famous people, as well as dates and historical places.

Missing object after 'like' and incorrect modal 'should' for past obligation. Use 'like it' and 'had to' for past necessity. 'Name' should be plural 'names'. Use commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'didn't like it' and 'had to memorize the names'.

× But now I'm interested in.

✓ But now I'm interested in it.

The phrasal expression 'interested in' requires an object; 'in' needs 'it' or the specific subject. Adding 'it' completes the sentence. Suggestion: Add the object after 'interested in'.

× Actually I learned history by watching documentaries.

✓ Actually I learned about history by watching documentaries.

Verb choice: 'learned history' is not wrong but 'learned about history' is more natural when describing source. No tense change required because sentence describes past learning. Suggestion: Use 'learned about history' or 'I learned history' is acceptable; adding 'about' clarifies meaning.

× Also listen to historical books or read them and sometimes I go to museum and historical places.

✓ I also listened to historical audiobooks or read books, and sometimes I went to museums and historical sites.

Mixed tense and missing subjects/articles. The original mixes present and past; because context is about past study methods, use past tense 'listened' and 'read' and 'went'. 'Audiobooks' is clearer if 'listen to books' meant audio; otherwise 'I read historical books'. Use plural 'museums' and 'historical sites' and include articles where needed. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and use plural nouns and articles.

× I think learning history have some benefits, for example how people to know about their ancestors behavior and decision and people avoid reputating mistakes and make better decisions in the future.

✓ I think learning history has some benefits; for example, it helps people learn about their ancestors' behavior and decisions, and helps people avoid repeating mistakes and make better decisions in the future.

Subject-verb agreement: 'learning history' is singular, so use 'has' not 'have'. Sentence structure is unclear: use 'it helps' to introduce benefits. 'Ancestors behavior' needs possessive 'ancestors'' and 'decision' should be plural 'decisions'. 'Reputating' is incorrect; correct verb is 'repeating'. Suggestion: Use 'has', make nouns plural where appropriate, use possessive form, and correct verbs.

× Yes, definitely. I think learning history is important because people become familiar with their ancestors, customs, positions, behaviors and the way they decided and help people to avoid repeated mistakes and make better decisions in the future.

✓ Yes, definitely. I think learning history is important because people become familiar with their ancestors, customs, social positions, and behaviors, and learn how decisions were made; this helps people avoid repeating mistakes and make better decisions in the future.

Awkward phrasing and parallelism errors. 'Positions' is vague; 'social positions' clarifies meaning. 'The way they decided' is unclear; use 'how decisions were made' in passive to match context. Add a clear result clause 'this helps...' to show consequence. Use 'avoiding repeating mistakes' corrected to 'avoid repeating mistakes'. Suggestion: Improve parallel structure and clarity by breaking into two clauses and using passive where appropriate.