History— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clear and concise: start with a direct topic sentence stating whether you studied history, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Also correct basic grammar (e.g. use past tense consistently) and replace vague words like "in force" or "stood in history" with clear expressions.

예시: Yes, I studied history when I was a child. For example, I attended history classes at school from ages 7 to 16, but I found the lessons quite boring because they focused mostly on memorizing dates rather than understanding events.

제안: Structure the response: begin with a clear method statement, then give a brief explanation using linking words (for example, "for instance" or "so"). Provide specific details about study techniques and avoid filler words. Use correct verb forms and keep within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I usually study history by making concise notes and reading them aloud. For instance, I write down important dates and events on flashcards, then practice recalling them aloud to improve memory and understanding.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming one or two key benefits, then support with specific reasons and examples. Avoid repeating the word "history" excessively. Use linking words (for example, "firstly", "in addition") and be specific about benefits (e.g. understanding culture, learning from past mistakes).

예시: Learning history helps us understand our culture and identity. For example, by studying historical buildings and the lives of important figures, we can appreciate traditions and avoid repeating past mistakes.

제안: Answer directly and then justify briefly with specific reasons. Avoid repetition (e.g. "historical historical") and use cohesive devices like "because" or "therefore". Mention concrete examples of what we learn from history (identity, lessons, context) in one or two supporting sentences.

예시: Yes, I believe history is important because it teaches us about our nation and cultural roots. For example, reading about past events helps citizens understand why customs exist and learn lessons that can guide future decisions.

× Definitely when I was a child, especially when I was in force and at that time I stood in history, history subject.

✓ Definitely. When I was a child, especially when I was in school, I studied history as a subject.

The original sentence has poor sentence structure and wrong word choice ('in force', 'stood in history'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Correct by splitting into clearer clauses, using 'when I was in school' instead of 'in force', and using 'studied history' to convey the intended meaning. Use short, clear clauses and the correct verb for learning an academic subject.

× And it is very boring for me because I feel very poor that when I read history things.

✓ It was very boring for me because I felt bad when I read about historical events.

The phrase 'feel very poor' is an incorrect adjective/adverb usage (ID 13) and 'history things' is vague. Use 'felt bad' to express discomfort and 'read about historical events' to be specific. Match past tense 'was'/'felt' to 'when I was a child.'

× I have already mentioned it is very boring subject.

✓ I already mentioned that it is a very boring subject.

This is a present tense/tense usage issue (ID 6). The original mixes present perfect without proper clause connection. Use simple past 'mentioned' or present perfect 'I have mentioned' plus 'that' and include 'a' before 'very boring subject' (article error as part of structure). The correction uses simple past for clarity and adds the article.

× However I read history that time I take a piece of paper and I write important topics on the page and I read loudly.

✓ However, when I read history at that time, I took a piece of paper, wrote the important points on the page, and read them aloud.

This contains sentence structure errors (ID 26) and tense inconsistencies. The speaker mixes present and past ('read' present vs 'take'). Use past tense 'took', 'wrote', 'read aloud' to match the past context. Also use 'points' instead of 'topics' and 'aloud' instead of 'loudly' when describing reading out loud.

× There are several benefits of learning in history because by learning history we can learn our history things history for history things which are related to history buildings and old persons and it is the best way and definitely we should learn in history things history book.

✓ There are several benefits to learning history because it teaches us about our past, historical buildings, and important historical figures. It is a good way to learn, and we should study history books.

The original sentence misuses prepositions ('learning in history', 'learn in history things') and contains wordiness and unclear phrases—this is primarily an incorrect preposition use (ID 11) and sentence structure problem. Use 'benefits to learning history' (correct preposition), 'teaches us about', and replace 'old persons' with 'important historical figures'. Simplify the sentence into clear clauses.

× In my point of view, learning in history plays a very crucial role in our life.

✓ In my point of view, learning history plays a very crucial role in our lives.

'Learning in history' incorrectly uses the preposition 'in' (ID 11). Remove 'in' to form 'learning history'. Also 'life' should be plural 'lives' when speaking generally about people.

× By reading historical historical books, we can learn a lot of new things which are related to our nation and our culture.

✓ By reading historical books, we can learn many new things related to our nation and culture.

The sentence repeats 'historical' unnecessarily and is slightly wordy—this is a sentence structure/repetition issue (ID 26). Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for conciseness and remove repeated word. Keep modifiers close to the noun.

× And that is the main reason I think learning history is crucial in our life.

✓ That is the main reason I think learning history is crucial in our lives.

Minor sentence structure and number agreement issue (ID 26). Use 'That is' without leading 'And' for formality, and use 'lives' instead of 'life' for general statement. Maintain consistent verb form and clarity.