History— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and grammatically correct, give a clear topic sentence and one brief supporting detail. Avoid vague phrasing like “some reading of the history.” Use linking words if you add details.

예시: Yes, I have studied history, mainly about my own country. For example, I often read books and articles about important events and historical figures, which helps me understand our culture better.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence describing your method(s) of learning (e.g., reading, documentaries, classes). Use correct tense and concise sentences. Provide one specific example and a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid unclear comparisons and incomplete sentences.

예시: I learn history mainly by reading books and watching documentaries. For example, I recently watched a documentary about daily life in the past, which showed how people relied on manual labour for tasks that are now automated.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence stating a main benefit, then add a specific reason or example. Use linking words like “because” or “for example” and correct word forms (e.g., “my country” not “my countries”). Keep it concise and natural.

예시: Learning history helps me appreciate the present. For example, knowing how difficult life was in my country in the past makes me more grateful for modern conveniences and motivates me to preserve cultural traditions.

제안: Begin with a direct statement and follow with a specific reason. Use correct grammar and avoid fragments. Use a linking word like “because” and give a short example to support your point.

예시: Yes, I think history is very important for young people because it teaches them to appreciate the present and learn from past mistakes. For instance, studying past social reforms can inspire young people to work for positive change today.

× Yes, I have some reading of the history, especially on my own country.

✓ Yes, I have done some reading about the history of my own country.

The prepositions 'of' and 'on' are used incorrectly here. Use 'reading about' to indicate studying a subject and 'history of my own country' to show possession. Also add 'done' to make the expression natural: 'have done some reading' indicates recent experience.

× I learn about history on the past and the presence is so very different, like the past is so very hard working people.

✓ I learn about history, and the past and the present are very different; for example, people in the past worked very hard.

Tense and wording are incorrect. 'On the past' should be omitted; use 'the past and the present' and keep verbs consistent in present simple for general statements: 'are very different.' Also 'hard working people' should be rephrased to 'people in the past worked very hard' to convey meaning correctly.

× There is only manual working like writing and transporting but.

✓ There was mostly manual work, such as writing and transporting goods, in the past.

The original sentence has poor word order and incorrect verb form. Use 'There was mostly manual work' for past general statements (there-be issue combined with tense). 'Working' should be the noun 'work,' and 'transporting' should be specified as 'transporting goods.' Remove the trailing 'but.'

× I learn about history on my own countries to.

✓ I learn about the history of my own country too.

'My own countries' is incorrect if referring to a single country; use singular 'country.' 'To' at the end should be 'too' meaning 'also.' Also add 'the' before 'history' for specificity.

× To be thankful in the present because the past history is so very difficult life there is.

✓ We should be thankful in the present because life in the past was very difficult.

Sentence order and verb tense are incorrect. Use 'We should be thankful' for a general recommendation and past tense 'was' to describe past conditions. 'Past history' is redundant; use 'life in the past.'

× Yes, the history is so important to the young man today because.

✓ Yes, history is very important for young people today because

Do not use 'the' before 'history' when speaking generally; use 'history.' 'The young man' is too specific and awkward — use 'young people.' Also avoid the sentence-ending 'because' without a clause; link it to the next clause. Ensure the sentence continues with the reason.

× He learned how to appreciate the present right now.

✓ They learn how to appreciate the present.

Tense and agreement are inconsistent. For a general statement about young people, use present simple 'learn' and plural pronoun 'they.' 'Right now' is unnecessary with present simple; remove it. If speaking about a single person in past, use 'He learned how to appreciate the present,' but here a general present-tense statement is better.