Watch— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. "Apple Watch"), and add one brief supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I wear an Apple Watch. I use it mainly to check notifications and track my exercise, so it helps me stay organized and healthy.

제안: Organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details. Correct tense and remove hesitations. Use linking words like "when" and "so" and be concise (max 5 sentences).

예시: Yes, I received a watch as a gift when I was in middle school. My church teacher gave it to me at my graduation, and I felt proud because it was my first watch.

제안: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence and support it with one or two specific reasons. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. "status" not "statues") and linking words such as "because" and "also". Finish your thought fully.

예시: Some people wear expensive watches because they want to show their social status. Also, designer watches make a strong impression due to their brand reputation and unique design.

제안: State your opinion clearly, then give specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing. Keep it concise and finish each sentence properly.

예시: Yes, I think wearing a watch is important because it helps me check the time easily and arrive at appointments on time. It also encourages me to manage my time better and be more punctual.

× Um, I've got I gave I did watch as a gift when I was middle school.

✓ Um, I got a watch as a gift when I was in middle school.

The original sentence mixes tenses and incorrect verb forms ('I've got I gave I did watch'). Use the simple past 'I got' to mean 'I received.' Also include the preposition 'in' before 'middle school'. Keep tense consistent (simple past) for a past event.

× It was at the church and the church my church Teacher gave me a graduate gift as a gift gift and it was very pressured for me because it was my first

✓ It was at my church and my church teacher gave me a graduation gift; I felt very surprised because it was my first one.

Multiple issues: 'the church and the church my church Teacher' is repetitive; use 'my church' and lowercase 'teacher'. 'Graduate gift' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'graduation gift.' 'Pressured' is the wrong adjective for the emotion; use 'surprised' or 'emotionally moved.' Also complete the sentence ('it was my first' -> 'it was my first one'). Use proper punctuation to separate ideas.

× People wear expensive watches because they want to display their social statues and the brand and their unique design makes there strong impressions that could also relay with the

✓ People wear expensive watches because they want to display their social status, and the brand and unique design create a strong impression that can also reflect their personality.

'Social statues' should be 'social status' (singular). 'There strong impressions' uses wrong pronoun and plural; use 'a strong impression.' 'Makes' is acceptable but 'create' fits plural subject 'brand and unique design.' 'Relay with the' is incorrect collocation; 'reflect their personality' is a clearer expression.

× People wear expensive watches because they want to display their social statues and the brand and their unique design makes there strong impressions that could also relay with the

✓ People wear expensive watches because they want to display their social status, and the brand and unique design create a strong impression that can also reflect their personality.

'There' is the wrong word; 'their' would be a pronoun but the sentence needs 'a' or 'strong impression.' Clarify pronoun reference: 'their' should refer to the owners, so 'reflect their personality' makes the meaning clear.

× Yes, I wear a watch. I usually have an Apple I Apple Watch which serves a digital access.

✓ Yes, I wear a watch. I usually have an Apple Watch, which provides digital access.

'I usually have an Apple I Apple Watch' has repetition and unnecessary 'I.' Use 'I usually have an Apple Watch.' 'Serves a digital access' is unidiomatic; use 'provides digital access.' Maintain present simple tense for habitual actions.

× It was at my church and my church teacher gave me a graduation gift; I felt very surprised because it was my first one.

✓ It was at my church, and my church teacher gave me a graduation gift; I was very surprised because it was my first one.

The suggestion changes 'I felt very surprised' to 'I was very surprised' which is more natural in simple past narrative. Both are past tense, but 'was very surprised' is a common collocation. Keep past tense consistent when describing a past event.

× Also it also makes me to more move more quickly at the time.

✓ Also, it helps me move more quickly and be on time.

Original has redundant 'also it also' and incorrect structure 'makes me to more move more quickly.' Use 'helps me move more quickly' or 'makes me move more quickly.' Remove duplicate words and use correct verb pattern ('help' + base verb). Clarify purpose 'be on time' for appointments.

× It is important to wear a watch because it led me to check the time that I could be on time at all appointments.

✓ It is important to wear a watch because it helps me check the time so I can be on time for appointments.

'Led me to check' mixes past tense 'led' with present 'is important.' Use present 'helps me check' to match 'It is important.' Also change 'that I could be on time at all appointments' to 'so I can be on time for appointments' for correct tense and preposition usage.