Watch— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は簡潔で関連情報を伝えていますが、文法と語順の誤り、語彙の選択（"monitor my vital"→"monitor my vitals"など）、およびリンク表現の不足が見られます。より自然で正確な表現に直し、具体的な機能を一つか二つ挙げると効果的です。短め（最大5文）にまとめ、トピック文の後に1〜2の追加詳細を結合語（for example, also, and）でつなぎましょう。

예시: Yes, I usually wear an Apple Watch. It is very useful because, in addition to checking the time, it monitors my heart rate and tracks my daily activity. For example, it sends me reminders to stand and records my sleep patterns.

제안: 意味は伝わりますが、文法ミスや語順の混乱（"I have this Apple Watch is I was gifted"）があり、自然さが低下しています。完結な主文を最初に置き、理由を1〜2文で具体的に述べ、つなぎ言葉（because, so, and）を使って論理を明確にしましょう。

예시: Yes, I received this Apple Watch as a gift from my sister. It is my favorite because it is both useful for tracking health and stylish enough to wear every day.

제안: 意見は述べられていますが、語彙と文法の誤りが多く、言いたいことが不明確です（"identify their position"や"were expensive watches"は不自然）。言い換えと具体例を用い、理由をはっきり述べると良いです。また“uh”などの埋め草に頼らず短く明瞭に話しましょう。

예시: I think many people buy expensive watches as a status symbol to show their wealth or success. For example, businesspeople may wear luxury watches to create a professional image and make a strong impression at meetings.

제안: 核心は伝わりますが、文法と語順の誤り（"what is doesn't need"など）と同じ内容の繰り返しが目立ちます。理由を一度で明確に述べ、必要なら簡単な例や追加理由を1文で述べると良いです。

예시: I don't think it's necessary to wear a watch because most people can check the time on their smartphones. However, some people still prefer watches for convenience or as a fashion accessory, so it depends on personal preference.

× It is very useful because it can not only check the time but also monitor my vital.

✓ It is very useful because it can not only check the time but also monitor my vitals.

'Vital' as a noun is incomplete; the correct plural form 'vitals' refers to vital signs. Use 'vitals' when talking about health measurements. Also word order and verb forms are fine here.

× Yes, I have this Apple Watch is I was gifted by my sister and it is my favorite watch because it is very useful and stylish.

✓ Yes, I have this Apple Watch; it was a gift from my sister, and it is my favorite watch because it is very useful and stylish.

Original contains redundant and incorrect clauses ('I have this Apple Watch is I was gifted'). Correct structure uses a clear passive or noun phrase: 'it was a gift from my sister.' Use a semicolon or separate clauses with commas and conjunctions to join related ideas.

× For example, many uh, rich people were expensive watches and it is improved their income.

✓ For example, many rich people wear expensive watches, and it improves their image.

'Were' is the past form but context needs present 'wear.' 'Expensive watches' must be the object, so use 'wear.' 'It is improved their income' is ungrammatical; likely intended meaning is 'it improves their image' or 'it improves their social status.' Use present simple for general truth.

× Well, I don't think so, because we can check the time by smartphones and what is doesn't need.

✓ Well, I don't think so, because we can check the time with smartphones and they are not necessary.

Use 'with' to indicate tool/instrument ('check the time with smartphones'). 'What is doesn't need' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'they are not necessary' to express that watches are unnecessary. Maintain present tense for general statements.

× So recently I don't wear the watch because I checked the time by smartphone.

✓ So recently I haven't been wearing a watch because I check the time on my smartphone.

Use present perfect progressive 'haven't been wearing' or present perfect to indicate a recent ongoing habit change. Use 'check the time on my smartphone' (preposition 'on') and match tense: present simple for habitual action. Also use 'a watch' or omit article consistently.

× Yes, I usually wear an Apple Watch. It is very useful because it can not only check the time but also monitor my vital.

✓ Yes, I usually wear an Apple Watch. It is very useful because it can not only check the time but also monitor my vitals.

Repeated: 'monitor my vital' should be 'monitor my vitals.' Preposition use otherwise fine. (This suggestion repeats correction for emphasis.)