Swimming— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like swimming, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, however). Correct basic grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement, articles) and avoid filler sounds. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

예시: I don't currently like swimming, but I would like to learn in the future because many of my family members go to the beach. For example, when we visit the seashore I feel left out because I can't join them in the water. However, I find swimming both interesting and a little frightening as a beginner.

제안: Answer directly and give one clear reason with a linking word (because, since). Reduce repetition and correct tense and phrasing (e.g., "I didn't learn it in childhood"). Use specific example or brief experience to support your point. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, it is difficult for me because I never learned to swim as a child, so learning as an adult feels harder. For instance, when I tried lessons last year I found it difficult to relax and float in the water.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details and a linking word (for example, "for example" or "especially"). Watch for small grammar issues (articles, word order) and avoid repeating words. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Most people in the Philippines like to go to the seashore during holidays, especially in July and August. For example, families often visit beaches to swim, relax, and watch the sunset together.

제안: Give a clear comparative topic sentence using linking words (whereas, while, whereas). Use specific contrasts (size, water conditions, safety) and avoid fillers and repetitions. Keep to 2–3 concise sentences and correct vocabulary (e.g., "current" and "sea").

예시: Swimming in a pool is usually calmer and confined to a small area, whereas the sea is much wider and often has waves and currents. For example, pools are better for practicing strokes safely, while the sea offers more variety but can be less predictable.

× I'm not uh, into swimming but I would like to learn from it since there is instances that my family members goes to the beach and I was at the seashore.

✓ I'm not into swimming, but I would like to learn because there are instances when my family members go to the beach and I am at the seashore.

Errors: 'there is instances' should be 'there are instances' (subject-verb agreement and plural — Grammar Problem Type IDs 1 and 27) and 'goes' should be 'go' to agree with plural subject 'family members' (Third person plural — ID 27). Also 'I was at the seashore' is corrected to 'I am at the seashore' to match the present-tense context of recurring situations (Present tense issue — ID 6). Suggestion: ensure subject and verb agree in number, and keep tense consistent when describing habitual situations. Note: Although multiple error types apply, the main required correction here follows the listed grammar problem types.

× I don't even know how to to swim and it seems interesting but scary at the same time because if you're a first stormer to to swim, umm it's.

✓ I don't even know how to swim, and it seems interesting but scary at the same time because if you're a first-timer learning to swim, it's frightening.

Errors: repeated word 'to to' is unnecessary (Sentence structure error — ID 26). 'first stormer' is incorrect word choice; use 'first-timer' or 'beginner' (Incorrect use of adjectives or nouns — ID 13). The fragment 'it's.' was incomplete; expanded to 'it's frightening' to complete the thought (Sentence without a verb/fragment — ID 23). Suggestion: remove duplicated words, choose correct collocations (first-timer), and finish sentences with a clear verb/predicate.

× Yes, for me it's difficult since I haven't learned since in my my childhood years.

✓ Yes, for me it's difficult because I didn't learn when I was a child.

Errors: 'haven't learned since in my childhood years' mixes present perfect and incorrect use of 'since' and 'in' with a past time period (Past tense issue — ID 5 and Present tense issue — ID 6). Use simple past 'didn't learn' and 'when I was a child' to refer to a past period. Suggestion: use simple past for completed actions in the past and avoid combining 'since' with a finished time expression like 'my childhood'.

× And when I'm an adult, probably it's more difficult to me since my body is already reached the maturity and it's hard to learn how to make your body float on in the water.

✓ And now that I'm an adult, it's probably more difficult for me because my body has already reached maturity, and it's hard to learn how to make your body float in the water.

Errors: 'when I'm an adult' should be 'now that I'm an adult' to reflect current state (Tense issue — ID 6). 'more difficult to me' should be 'more difficult for me' (Incorrect use of prepositions/pronouns — ID 11/12). 'is already reached' is ungrammatical; use present perfect 'has reached' (Verb in the past participle form — ID 9). 'float on in the water' contains incorrect preposition 'on' and extra 'in' (Incorrect use of prepositions — ID 11). Suggestion: use 'for' after 'difficult', use correct perfect tense 'has reached', and choose correct preposition 'float in the water'.

× That's what that experience last year.

✓ That was my experience last year.

Error: sentence fragment and incorrect word order — 'That's what that experience last year' is ungrammatical (Sentence structure errors — ID 26; Sentence without a verb — ID 23). Correction uses past tense 'was' to match 'last year'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and proper word order; use past tense for events in a specified past time.

× If there is a holiday in my home country, particularly during summertime, by the month of July and August, most of the people in the Philippines go to the seashore and enjoy the the sunset, particularly with their loved ones during their holidays.

✓ If there is a holiday in my country, particularly during summertime in July and August, most people in the Philippines go to the seashore and enjoy the sunset with their loved ones.

Errors: 'my home country' is acceptable but 'my country' is more natural; 'by the month of July and August' is awkward — use 'in July and August' (Incorrect use of prepositions — ID 11). 'most of the people' -> 'most people' is more natural (Incorrect use of quantifiers/articles — ID 14/22). Duplicate 'the the' is a typo. Suggestion: simplify phrases, use correct prepositions for months, and avoid unnecessary articles.

× I think swimming in the pool is you have a small vicinity compared to the ocean it it is wider and also you can enjoy it the the the current of the Sea World in you're in the water while in the swimming pool you'll be with other people as well in a specific vicinity.

✓ I think swimming in a pool means you have a smaller space compared to the ocean, which is much wider. In the sea you can enjoy the current while in a pool you are in a specific area and often swim with other people.

Errors: awkward structure and incorrect word choice 'vicinity' used repeatedly instead of 'space' or 'area' (Incorrect use of adjectives/nouns — ID 13; Sentence structure errors — ID 26). Repeated words 'it it' and 'the the the' are typos. 'Sea World' is incorrect reference; use 'sea' or 'ocean'. 'you're in the water' should be 'you are in the water' but rephrased for clarity. Suggestion: avoid word repetition, choose correct vocabulary (space/area/current), break long run-on sentences into shorter clear sentences, and keep comparisons parallel.