Art— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant but a bit repetitive and could be more specific. Start with a concise topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (for example, what you draw or how it helps you). Use a linking word to connect ideas and keep to a maximum of 4–5 sentences.

예시: Yes, I love drawing; it has been my hobby since childhood. For instance, I often sketch landscapes and portraits, which helps me develop my observation skills. Moreover, drawing relaxes me after a busy day, so it is my favorite pastime.

제안: The main idea is understandable but the answer is wordy, contains unclear phrasing (e.g., “ask a separation”), and repeats ideas. Give a direct topic sentence, then one clear reason with a specific example. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “for example”) and avoid unclear vocabulary.

예시: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries and exhibitions because they inspire my own work. For example, seeing different techniques and styles at a modern art show recently gave me new ideas for color use and composition.

제안: Good motivation expressed, but the second sentence is awkward and contains unclear phrasing (“best paced”). Keep sentences natural and give a specific plan or reason why you want to learn more (e.g., classes, techniques, career goals). Use a linking word to connect motivation and plan.

예시: Yes, I would like to learn more about art because I want to improve my skills and eventually work as a professional artist. For instance, I plan to study oil painting techniques and attend workshops to develop a distinctive style and handle stress creatively.

제안: The answer communicates the basic story but has grammar errors, informal phrases (“have once,” “like one week”), and unclear vocabulary (“visit things,” “strange lines”). Provide a clear past-tense account, be specific about what you learned, and avoid informal fillers. Use one linking word to sequence events (e.g., “however” or “but”).

예시: I took a drawing class at school when I was a child, but I only attended for one week because of personal reasons. In that short time I learned basic color mixing and simple sketching techniques, such as using different line types to show texture.

× Yes, drawing has been my hobby since I was young.

✓ Yes, drawing has been my hobby since I was young.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses present perfect 'has been' to describe a state continuing from the past to the present.

× Drawing helped me with my creativity and it also helped me relax, so it is my favorite thing.

✓ Drawing has helped my creativity and has also helped me relax, so it is my favorite thing.

The original uses simple past 'helped' but implies a continuing effect up to the present. Use present perfect 'has helped' to show that the benefit started in the past and continues now. Also use parallel structure with 'has also helped' for clarity.

× Yes, I like to go to the gallery and art exhibition as I like drawing myself and going to the gallery and ask a separation can help me with my creativity because they can give me more ideas and more views on painting.

✓ Yes, I like to go to galleries and art exhibitions because I enjoy drawing myself, and visiting galleries can help my creativity by giving me more ideas and perspectives on painting.

Multiple issues: plural nouns 'galleries' and 'art exhibitions' are needed for general statements (singular/plural and article usage). 'Ask a separation' is incorrect and unclear; replaced with 'visiting galleries' as the intended action. Use 'can help my creativity' rather than 'can help me with my creativity' for concision, and 'perspectives' is a clearer noun than 'views' in this context. Maintain verb forms: 'enjoy' (present simple) and 'can help' (modal) are appropriate for habits or general abilities.

× Yes, as someone who loves drawing, I would love to learn more about art and even become a professional artist.

✓ Yes, as someone who loves drawing, I would love to learn more about art and even become a professional artist.

No correction needed; 'would love to' correctly expresses desire for the future and matches the context.

× I feel like artists are really necessary in this world where everything is best paced and stressful.

✓ I feel like artists are really necessary in this world where everything is fast-paced and stressful.

The phrase 'best paced' is incorrect; the intended adjective is 'fast-paced' to describe a quickly moving environment. 'Fast-paced' is the correct compound adjective; keep 'stressful' unchanged. 'Really' as an adverb is acceptable here.

× I have once taken a drawing class that is offered by my school but I attended there for like one week and then dropped out because of some personal situations.

✓ I once took a drawing class offered by my school, but I attended for only about one week and then dropped out because of some personal circumstances.

When describing a specific past event, simple past 'took' is more natural than present perfect 'have taken'. Remove 'is' to use the past passive 'offered' appropriately. 'Attended there' is redundant; 'attended' or 'went' is sufficient. Replace informal 'like' with 'about' and 'personal situations' with the more natural 'personal circumstances'.

× And in that class I learned how to use color palettes and draw some visit things like strange lines.

✓ In that class I learned how to use color palettes and draw various things, such as unusual lines.

'And' at the start is unnecessary; combine into one sentence. 'Some visit things' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'various things' or 'different things'. 'Strange lines' is passable but 'unusual lines' is a more natural collocation. Use parallel noun phrases 'use color palettes and draw various things' for clarity.