Art— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise: state your current feeling first, then give a brief reason and one example. Use correct tense and avoid redundancy. Add a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: I used to enjoy drawing as a child, but now I feel less confident about my work so I avoid showing it to others. For example, I stopped sharing my sketches on social media because I worry about criticism.

제안: Answer directly and use clearer vocabulary. Replace informal words like 'compels' with 'encourages' and correct 'boredness' to 'boring'. Use one linking word and give a short reason or example.

예시: Not really. My mother often encourages me to visit galleries because she believes art is important, but I find some exhibitions a bit boring unless there's something particularly interesting or interactive.

제안: Be concise and accurate with word choice (use 'art' not 'arts'). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific conditions with linking words. Avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I would like to learn more about art, but it depends on the style: if it's very abstract I find it hard to understand, whereas I enjoy and would study more traditional techniques like oil painting.

제안: Keep it structured: answer the question, then give two specific examples of artists you admired and why. Avoid awkward phrases and redundancy; use linking words to connect admiration to reasons.

예시: Yes, I learned drawing as a child and really enjoyed it. For example, I admired Van Gogh for his bold colours in Sunflowers and Leonardo da Vinci for his detailed sketches, which inspired me even though I don't practice drawing much now.

× I like drawing when I was a kid, however now I'm not confident about my drawing so I kind of dislike it and I'm shy to show it to others.

✓ I liked drawing when I was a kid; however, now I'm not confident about my drawings, so I kind of dislike it and I'm shy to show them to others.

The sentence mixes past and present improperly. 'I like drawing when I was a kid' should use past tense 'liked' to match 'when I was a kid' (Grammar Problem Type ID 6). Also 'my drawing' should be plural 'my drawings' when referring to drawings in general, and 'show it to others' should be 'show them to others' to match the plural noun (also subject-verb/number consistency relates to singular and plural issue, ID 1). Suggestion: keep time references consistent (past for past habits), use plural for countable items, and match pronouns to their antecedents.

× Well, not really, but my mom usually compels me to go 'cause in her opinion, she always thinks that art is really important and it means a lot. However, I often consider it as boredness.

✓ Well, not really, but my mom usually compels me to go because, in her opinion, art is really important and means a lot. However, I often find it boring.

Several issues: 'compels me to go 'cause in her opinion, she always thinks that' is wordy and has informal 'cause; simplify to 'because, in her opinion' (preposition/phrase use, ID 11). 'It means a lot' is fine but 'she always thinks that' is redundant. 'I often consider it as boredness' is incorrect: 'consider' is not used with 'as' plus an uncountable noun here; the correct phrasing is 'I often find it boring' using an adjective to describe the experience. Use 'boring' (adjective) rather than the noun 'boredness'.

× I would like to learn more about arts, but it depends on what kind of art is it.

✓ I would like to learn more about art, but it depends on what kind of art it is.

'Arts' is incorrect in this context; 'art' as a field is an uncountable noun, so use 'art' (Grammar Problem Type ID 14/22). Also the embedded question word order 'what kind of art is it' should be declarative order 'what kind of art it is' when used inside a sentence.

× If it's too abstract, it might be really difficult to understand.

✓ If it's too abstract, it can be really difficult to understand.

'Might' is not strictly wrong but 'can be' is more natural when speaking about general possibility or likelihood of difficulty (tense/modality nuance, ID 6/4). Keep conditional present tense consistent. Suggest using 'can be' to express general potential.

× However, if it's simple and it's kind of like oil painting, I'll enjoy it a lot and I would like to learn it.

✓ However, if it's simple and more like an oil painting, I'll enjoy it a lot and I would like to learn how to do it.

Pronoun and noun phrase issues: 'kind of like oil painting' should be 'more like an oil painting' to specify a type (use article with countable noun) (ID 12/22). 'Learn it' is awkward; use 'learn how to do it' or 'learn it' could be interpreted incorrectly. Suggest specifying the action 'how to do it' for clarity.

× Well, definitely yes, and I enjoyed drawing a lot when I was a kid.

✓ Well, definitely yes; I enjoyed drawing a lot when I was a kid.

Mainly punctuation and flow: change comma to semicolon or split into two sentences. Tense 'enjoyed' correctly matches 'when I was a kid' (no grammatical change necessary). This entry flagged to confirm past tense usage is correct (ID 5). Suggest using clearer punctuation.

× I admired Van Gogh a lot for his Sunflowers and Da Vinci as well.

✓ I admired Van Gogh a lot for his Sunflowers, and I admired Da Vinci as well.

Run-on and pronoun reference: 'and Da Vinci as well' attached directly creates slight awkwardness; repeat verb 'admired' for clarity or restructure. Also use full name 'Da Vinci' is acceptable but 'Leonardo da Vinci' preferred. This addresses pronoun/parallel structure (ID 12/26). Suggest maintaining parallel structure.

× They were really talented as now I admire them as well 'cause I really love their drawing even though I'm not a drawing person.

✓ They were really talented, and I still admire them now because I really love their drawings, even though I'm not a drawing person.

Multiple issues: 'as now I admire them as well' is ungrammatical; use 'and I still admire them now' (ID 13/26). 'Cause' is informal; use 'because'. 'their drawing' should be plural 'their drawings' when referring to artworks in general. Also improve punctuation and conjunction use. Suggest simplifying clauses and using correct plurality and conjunctions.