Art— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with sentence connectors and minor grammar (capitalization after commas, article use). Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and avoid redundancy (e.g., "complicated" and "intricate" together). Add a clearer topic sentence and one specific supporting detail, using a linking word to connect the example.

예시: Yes, I enjoy drawing because it helps me express complex ideas simply. For example, I draw comics using basic lines and icons to tell a layered story, which helps me communicate emotions clearly.

제안: Watch for article and proper noun errors ("a art" → "an art" or better "an art gallery", "Netherland" → "the Netherlands"). Make the topic sentence direct, then add one specific detail about what you saw or felt. Use linking words like "for example" or "because" appropriately and avoid vague phrases like "broaden my horizon" without specifics.

예시: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries because I can see artworks from different cultures. For example, I recently visited an art gallery showing paintings by Van Gogh from the Netherlands, and his bold colors made me think differently about light and mood.

제안: Avoid awkward question-word order in statements ("under what conditions do some artists create" → "under what conditions some artists created their works"). Keep tense consistent and use clear linking words like "because" and "for example." Limit to one or two supporting details and be specific about what you want to study (e.g., social context, techniques).

예시: Yes, I want to study art history to understand the contexts behind famous works. For example, I am curious about Van Gogh's Sunflowers and want to learn how his life experiences and techniques influenced the mood and meaning of that series.

제안: Make the response more concise and correct grammar ("only musical instrument" → "only musical instruments", "comics book" → "comic books"). Use a clear sequence link word such as "until" or "after" to show timing. Keep to one topic sentence plus one specific supporting detail about how you learned.

예시: No, I didn't learn drawing as a child; I began after I started middle school. After taking music lessons as a child, I discovered comic books in middle school, and practicing sketches from them sparked my interest in drawing.

× I really like drawing, However, I am not an expert in this field.

✓ I really like drawing; however, I am not an expert in this field.

This sentence joins two independent clauses. A semicolon or a period is needed before the transitional adverb 'however'. Using a comma alone creates a comma splice. Suggestion: use a semicolon or start a new sentence (e.g., 'I really like drawing. However, I am not an expert...').

× I like drawing because it allows me to use simple lines and icons to express complicated thoughts of mine.

✓ I like drawing because it allows me to use simple lines and icons to express my complicated thoughts.

The prepositional phrase 'of mine' is unnecessary and less natural here. Use the possessive adjective 'my' directly before the noun phrase for concise and idiomatic English. Suggestion: say 'my complicated thoughts'.

× For example, I like drawing comics where I use very simple illustrations to depict a very complicated, intricate story.

✓ For example, I like drawing comics in which I use very simple illustrations to depict a complicated, intricate story.

Use 'in which' rather than 'where' when referring to the content or structure of comics. Also 'a very complicated, intricate story' is wordy; remove redundant intensifiers. Suggestion: use 'in which' and avoid duplicate modifiers.

× I really enjoy going to the gallery because I like appreciating the artworks from artists from across the world.

✓ I really enjoy going to galleries because I like appreciating artworks by artists from across the world.

Use the plural 'galleries' for a general preference and 'artworks by artists' is the idiomatic preposition. 'From across the world' is acceptable but 'by artists from across the world' is clearer. Suggestion: use plural and 'by'.

× For example, recently I went to a art gallery with paintings by Van Gogh, who is from Netherland.

✓ For example, recently I went to an art gallery with paintings by Van Gogh, who is from the Netherlands.

Use the indefinite article 'an' before a vowel sound ('a' -> 'an' before 'art'). Also the country name is 'the Netherlands' and 'Netherland' is incorrect. Suggestion: 'an art gallery' and 'the Netherlands'.

× Appreciating the artworks of foreign artists allows me to broaden my horizon.

✓ Appreciating the artworks of foreign artists allows me to broaden my horizons.

The idiomatic expression is 'broaden my horizons' (plural), not 'horizon'. Use plural to indicate expanding range of experiences. Suggestion: use 'horizons'.

× I really want to learn more about art, especially art history.

✓ I really want to learn more about art, especially art history.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence is correct. (No change.)

× I am very interested in this field because I'm curious regarding under what conditions do some artists create some artworks.

✓ I am very interested in this field because I'm curious about the conditions under which some artists created certain artworks.

Use 'curious about' rather than 'curious regarding'. When forming a noun phrase, use 'the conditions under which' instead of the question word order. Also 'create' should match intended tense: if referring to past works, 'created' or keep 'create' for general. 'Some artworks' is vague; 'certain artworks' is clearer. Suggestion: 'curious about the conditions under which some artists created certain artworks.'

× For example, when seeing the sunflowers painted by Van Gogh, I wonder what kind of hardships was he undergoing and what was he trying to convey?

✓ For example, when I see the sunflowers painted by Van Gogh, I wonder what kind of hardships he was undergoing and what he was trying to convey.

Do not use question word order in an embedded question; use statement order ('he was undergoing' not 'was he undergoing'). Also match tense/aspect: 'when I see' or 'when seeing' both possible; 'when I see' is clearer. Remove the final question mark because this is a statement of wonder, not a direct question. Suggestion: 'when I see... I wonder what hardships he was undergoing and what he was trying to convey.'

× Did you learn drawing when you were a kid?

✓ Did you learn to draw when you were a kid?

Use the infinitive 'to draw' after 'learn' when referring to acquiring the ability/skill. 'Learn drawing' is less natural in English. Suggestion: 'learn to draw'.

× No, I started learning drawing and just art in general after getting into middle school because I used to learn only musical instrument and not paintings.

✓ No, I started learning to draw, and art in general, after entering middle school because I had only learned musical instruments and not painting before.

Multiple issues: 'learning drawing' should be 'learning to draw'; 'just art' is awkward—use 'art in general' set off by commas; 'after getting into middle school' is better as 'after entering middle school'; 'used to learn only musical instrument' has number and tense errors—use plural 'musical instruments' and past perfect 'had only learned' to show prior habit. 'Not paintings' is better as 'not painting'. Suggestion: restructure for clarity and correct verb forms.

× But then after going to middle school I started reading comics book and I grew this interest in drawing by myself.

✓ But after starting middle school I started reading comic books and I developed this interest in drawing on my own.

Use 'comic books' (plural) not 'comics book'. 'Grew this interest' is unidiomatic; use 'developed this interest'. 'By myself' in this context is better expressed as 'on my own'. Also avoid repeating 'started' twice if desired, but grammatical corrections focus on listed types. Suggestion: 'started reading comic books' and 'developed this interest in drawing on my own.'