Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify the main idea and use correct grammar and concise phrasing. Begin with a clear topic sentence answering the question, avoid irrelevant phrases ("I'm gonna waste five"), and limit to up to 3–4 short sentences. Use linking words to add brief reasons or examples. Focus vocabulary on relevant words (e.g., "singer," "performer," "fashionable clothes").

예시: Yes, I can remember my dreams. As a child I wanted to be an artist because I enjoy singing and performing, and I also like stylish clothes. For example, I used to imagine singing on stage in colorful costumes.

제안: Answer directly and correct basic grammar. Start with a clear affirmative sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like "for example" or "also" correctly and avoid repetition. Be specific about how sharing helps you (advice, inspiration, feedback).

예시: Yes, I share my dreams with others quite often. For example, I talk with my school friends about our goals, and we give each other advice and encouragement. This helps me learn new ideas and stay motivated.

제안: Make a clear statement and support it with coherent, specific reasons. Correct sentence structure (subject–verb agreement) and avoid filler words. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example" to explain why dreams matter, and be concise when describing steps you take toward a dream.

예시: Yes, I believe dreams have special meaning because they guide our life choices. For example, I want to become a police officer, so I decided to study psychology and criminology at university to prepare for that career.

제안: Give a clear, direct answer and a single specific reason. Correct vocabulary errors ("plus officer" → "police officer") and avoid repeating phrases. Use one linking word like "because" and provide a concise motivation or plan for achieving the dream.

예시: Yes, definitely, because I want to help people as a police officer. I plan to study the necessary subjects and gain relevant experience so I can serve my community effectively.

× I can. I'm gonna waste five.

✓ I can. I remember five of them.

The original uses informal 'gonna' and 'waste' incorrectly; context asks about remembering dreams, so use simple present 'remember' and a clear object. Use 'I remember five of them' to state how many dreams you recall.

× I wanted to be an artist in the future because I like singing song and wearing some beautiful clothes, so that's why I think so.

✓ I wanted to be an artist when I was younger because I like singing and wearing beautiful clothes, so that's why I thought so.

Mixes past and present incorrectly. Use past 'wanted' and 'thought' for past desires; 'singing song' is redundant—use 'singing'. 'In the future' conflicts with past desire, so clarify timing ('when I was younger'). Ensure verb tense consistency.

× Yes, of very often.

✓ Yes, very often.

The phrase 'of very often' is ungrammatical. Remove 'of' and place adverb 'very often' correctly after the auxiliary or at sentence start for frequency.

× For example I often talk my school friends and we improve each other by speaking our dreams and I also I can learn many things from my friends because they have other dream.

✓ For example, I often talk with my school friends and we help each other by sharing our dreams. I can also learn many things from my friends because they have different dreams.

Use 'talk with' (preposition needed) not 'talk my'. 'Improve each other' is odd; 'help each other' or 'encourage each other' fits. 'Speaking our dreams' better as 'sharing our dreams'. 'Other dream' should be plural or 'different dreams'. Also remove duplicated 'I'.

× Yes, it dream is the biggest target for in my life.

✓ Yes, a dream is the biggest goal in my life.

'It dream' is ungrammatical; use 'a dream' or 'my dream'. 'Target for in my life' is wordy and incorrect; 'goal in my life' is natural.

× For example, I want I would like to be a police officer in the future.

✓ For example, I would like to be a police officer in the future.

Combines 'I want' and 'I would like' redundantly. Use one modal phrase; 'would like' is polite and appropriate for future goals.

× So to be a police officer I I decided to study psychology and criminology in the university.

✓ So, to become a police officer, I decided to study psychology and criminology at university.

Use 'become' rather than 'be' after 'to'. Remove duplicate 'I'. Use 'at university' (or 'at the university' if specific). Past tense 'decided' is correct for a past decision.

× This is my good tutorial to be it.

✓ This is good preparation for becoming one.

'Tutorial' is incorrect in this context; use 'preparation' or 'training'. 'To be it' is ungrammatical; use 'becoming one' or 'becoming a police officer'.

× Yes, definitely, because I'm eager to be a plus officer in the future as I think it is important to help people and is because it leads to help myself, so I definitely want to be.

✓ Yes, definitely. I'm eager to be a police officer in the future because I think it is important to help people, and it also helps me grow, so I definitely want to become one.

'Plus officer' is wrong; likely 'police officer'. Sentence fragments and repetition ('is because') must be fixed. Use clear clauses: 'because I think... and it also helps me...' End with 'become one' to avoid repetition. Use parallel structure and correct verb forms.