Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Kürzere, klarere Struktur und präzisere Wortwahl verwenden. Beginnen Sie mit einem klaren Topic-Satz, dann zwei bis drei unterstützende Details mit passenden Verbindungswörtern (z. B. "for example", "also"). Vermeiden Sie Redundanzen wie "of course" mehrmals und benutzen Sie idiomatischere Ausdrücke (z. B. "I’ve always wanted"). Achten Sie auf Grammatik (z. B. „covering new places" → „visiting new places").

예시: I can remember them. My first dream was to become a doctor because I wanted to help people. I also dreamed of travelling the world; for example, I wanted to try different cuisines and learn about new cultures.

제안: Antwort klar und prägnant formulieren; vermeiden Sie unsichere Ausdrücke wie "I don't know" am Ende. Nutzen Sie eine kurze Struktur: Ja/Nein + wer + warum + ein Beispiel. Verwenden Sie Verbindungswörter wie "also" oder "for instance" und korrigieren Sie Wiederholungen (z. B. „tell them about them").

예시: Yes, I often share my dreams with my family and close friends because they support me. I also listen to their ambitions; for instance, a friend recently told me she wants to start a business, and we discussed her plans.

제안: Verwenden Sie formellere, klarere Formulierungen und verbinden Sie Sätze logisch. Beginnen Sie mit einer direkten Meinung, erklären Sie kurz den Grund und geben Sie ein konkretes Beispiel. Achten Sie auf Grammatik (z. B. "remember us about" → "remind us of"). Vermeiden Sie Füllwörter wie "so" mehrfach.

예시: Yes, I believe dreams have meaning because they can remind us of our goals. For example, remembering a childhood ambition might motivate you to study medicine and stay focused on that path.

제안: Kürzere, selbstbewusste Formulierung und korrekte Grammatik verwenden. Struktur: klare Aussage + kurzer Grund + Konsequenz. Vermeiden Sie unsichere Wörter wie "maybe" und doppelte Floskeln („that's all").

예시: Yes, I definitely want to make my dreams come true because I’ve worked hard for them. If I didn’t become a doctor, I would be very disappointed, so I’m committed to studying and gaining experience.

× Yes, of course I can remember my first dream ever was to become a doctor and to help people.

✓ Yes, of course I can remember. My first dream was to become a doctor and to help people.

The original contains two independent clauses run together without proper separation, causing a run-on sentence. Split into two sentences so each idea is clear: 'I can remember.' and 'My first dream was...'. Use a period or conjunction to separate independent clauses. Grammar problem type's ID: 26

× My second dream was traveling the world because I like covering new places and cultures, food and meeting new people.

✓ My second dream was to travel the world because I like exploring new places, cultures, food, and meeting new people.

Use the infinitive 'to travel' after 'dream was' rather than the -ing form for this meaning. Also 'covering' is awkward; 'exploring' is more natural. List items should be separated with commas and include 'and' before the final item. Grammar problem type's ID: 5

× I share my dreams with my family and my friends, I tell them about them and of course I also listen to the dreams of my friends and I want to know what they want to do with their life and if they have any special goals.

✓ I share my dreams with my family and friends. I tell them about my dreams, and of course I also listen to my friends' dreams. I want to know what they want to do with their lives and whether they have any special goals.

The original is a long run-on sentence with repeated and awkward phrases. Break into shorter sentences, avoid repeating 'them', use the possessive form 'friends'' or 'my friends' dreams', and use 'lives' (plural) when referring to multiple people. Use 'whether' for two possibilities. Grammar problem type's ID: 26

× Yeah, I think so, because they remember us about our goals.

✓ Yes, I think so, because they remind us of our goals.

Use 'remind' rather than 'remember' when something causes someone to recall something. The correct construction is 'remind someone of something'. Also 'yeah' -> 'yes' for more formal speech. Grammar problem type's ID: 6

× So we keep going and so we don't forget what's for us important in our life and what we want to achieve.

✓ So we keep going and do not forget what is important to us in life and what we want to achieve.

Word order is incorrect: 'what's for us important' should be 'what is important to us'. Replace contractions for clarity and streamline the sentence by removing the repeated 'so'. Grammar problem type's ID: 26

× Of course I want that my dreams come true because that's all, that's all I working for and I would be really sad if I maybe don't achieve becoming a doctor.

✓ Of course I want my dreams to come true because that is what I have been working for, and I would be really sad if I did not achieve my dream of becoming a doctor.

The phrase 'I want that my dreams come true' is incorrect in English; use 'I want my dreams to come true'. 'That's all I working for' needs perfect continuous or present perfect: 'I have been working for' or 'I have worked for'. The conditional about not achieving should use past tense 'did not' to match 'would be'. Use 'my dream of becoming a doctor' for clarity. Grammar problem type's ID: 26